He was very clear about wanting to approach his online dating experience as friends first.
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We discussed what this would entail when we met. He had a very thought-out, rational reason for this approach. I was skeptical that this approach would work for me, but I was so impressed with his reasoning that I decided to give him a chance. We went out a total of three times.
It Was Weird and Confusing
He was a perfectly decent-looking guy who treated me respectfully, though we seemed to have limited chemistry. I realized at the end of the third date: Usually within 15 or 30 minutes, but certainly within an hour.
I will at least know if I want to spend more time with this person and have an interest in exploring our chemistry not necessarily at that first meeting, but at some point. Did I feel an overwhelming attraction and connection to him? I would have felt tacky to ask him to throw that out the window. I did call him a few days later to have a chat.
I know everyone has their own policy on this, but for me: Think back, do you remember hearing these words over and over and not knowing what to do and feeling frustrated, mad, and going through a hard time accepting it. He wanted to be your friend, but for some reason, you twisted and turned it and did everything you could to try to convince him that being friends was not what you wanted and that you wanted a relationship.
After years of trying to convince him, you finally decided it was time to give up and walk away, but yet it took you a long time to let go. Friendship is the first thing you need and very important when it comes to developing a relationship. Being friends gives you the opportunity to get to know the person for who he is and gives you the opportunity to learn things about him that you would not have learned otherwise.
Can You Date Someone After Being Friends First? - AskMen
When you jump into a relationship without being friends first, all types of issues and challenges occur, and you begin to expect more from the person and sometimes set unrealistic expectations. Why put so much pressure on someone because of your own expectations and desires? When you develop a genuine friendship, there are no expectations, you can be yourself, he can be himself, and you can learn everything you want to know about each other. Basically, you put the ball in his hands and you give him the opportunity to lead.
Many times, being friends is the best option, although it sucks, and you feel horrible, being friends is not so bad.
Friendship Before Relationship: 12 Reasons Why You Should Accept Being His Friend
You get to know the real him and not who he pretends to be. You can date and get to know other people if you want. You can decide if being friends is better than being in a relationship with him. Being friends gives you the opportunity to be free, free to be who you are, and free to choose to be in a relationship with him or not. When Your Relationship Ends: We are often caught between what we wanted and the reality After years of trying to convince him, you finally decided it was time to give up and walk away, but yet it took you a long time to let go.