Orthodox jewish dating customs

After being told about Stein, Goldfinger requested more information. That got garbled into a message that she was willing to go out, which soon put her in an awkward conversation. I decided he wasn't unusual enough," she recalls. He'd been told I wanted to go out. What Goldfinger regards as the "standard yeshiva guy" -- someone pursuing a worldly career simply because their parents are afraid they'll starve with an education in Talmud alone -- is acceptable to many Orthodox women.

Margie Pensak, one of about six traditional matchmakers in Baltimore, has nearly clients, about 90 percent of them Orthodox. Working for a small registration fee to cover her expenses mostly long-distance phone calls , Pensak says she often feels like a "waitress taking orders.

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Some people who have used matchmakers are put off by being reduced to a paragraph of statistics "like the back of a baseball card -- I'm deeper than that," says one Baltimore man. Others are content to find "the generic Orthodox Jew -- kosher home, observe the Sabbath, Torah study and raising kids to go to yeshiva," says Pensak. Generic just wasn't going to do for Goldfinger, who comes from a very observant yet whimsical and open-minded Hasidic family -- a woman whose independent thinking is symbolized by her choice of Catholic-run Loyola College for a biology degree.

She knew her bashert had to be Hasidic -- someone given to wearing satin caftans and round fur hats, who favored oil to light the Sabbath candles over wax -- but beyond that she "couldn't put into words" her notion of a soul mate. From the 20 or so dates she had before meeting Stein, she knew what she didn't want. There was the art museum date, with a guy who "walked by all the pictures I wanted to see. There was the minute "sit-in" around the dining room table with a devoutly Hasidic man while her parents entertained his parents in the next room.

And then she found herself having dinner with Stein without having seen him.

Jewish Sex - What Does the Torah Say and What's Really Going On?

But four months and nine dates later, after long evenings talking in hotel lobbies, they were engaged. My job was to meet a number of girls before I met the right one," says Stein, an Australian studying in New York. I went out with good-looking girls and not such good-looking girls. They were all nice girls, fine Orthodox girls.

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But you want someone with the same ideas as you. Rivkah had the right combination of all of them. The culture of dating and single life in the modern Orthodox Jewish community. PDF format is widely accepted and good for printing. Simple citation Penkower, Ariel Y.. Click here for information about Citation Management Tools at Rutgers.

Description Title The culture of dating and single life in the modern Orthodox Jewish community. Name Penkower, Ariel Y.

Friendship Before Marriage

Other Date degree. Extent v, p. Description The search for a spouse can be a difficult process for many men and women. Realize that orthodox dating is usually for a very short time before engagement, compared to secular standards. It's not unusual to hear of a couple dating for only months before an engagement. Keep in mind that real "love" usually comes after marriage, not before. The first time someone loves a partner in the Torah, Yaakov Isaac "loves" Rivka Rebecca after marrying her.

The culture of dating and single life in the modern Orthodox Jewish community

To quote an Aish article , "I don't marry a soulmate. I marry a good person with integrity and with goals and expectations consistent with my own. Put on your game face and get a positive attitude about the whole thing. Choosing the Dating Method Nowadays, you have several options: A pro will likely require you to prepare a "shidduch resume," which is exactly as dispassionate and business-like as it sounds. Most people dislike professional matchmakers because the process has severe flaws in the modern world.

Also, you can burn out on "shidduch" blind dates. Friends, coworkers, family members, the old lady you walked across the street. Literally, every person you meet. I don't suggest that this be your only method. Treat classes and other Jewish events as a place to meet other singles with similar interests. Be aware that at least one site Saw You at Sinai combines traditional matchmaking with "regular" online dating.

In other words, when you're going on a date, dress nicely. Put your best foot forward. Be as positive and optimistic as your nature allows. Give the person a few tries , unless they are very clearly a "no. Don't be blinded by the bling or a hot bod. Take the person as they are, not what they might become.

As they say, "Everyone changes after marriage I suggest giving this a few dates before making a final determination so long as the other two factors are present. Hopefully being shomer negiah can help you keep this area in focus, rather than letting it blind you! Shomer negiah is really the "key" to orthodox dating.


How well do you communicate? That's the "key" to orthodox marriage! Posted by CrazyJewishConvert at 7: Chavi December 23, at 7: Scher December 23, at Sarah Brodsky December 23, at 2: Susan B December 23, at 6: Rivki December 24, at 1: Scher December 24, at