Who wants to get dating advice from a pastor?
But my hope in this is only to help you, after all God created relationships, and so you would be a fool to not at least consider his a perspective on dating that is grounded in scripture. And beyond Biblical perspective, this advice also comes from experience, if I have to be honest when I was single and dating I broke every one of these rules in one way or another and it always cost me.
If you watch any TV show aimed at an audience of year olds you will hear at some point on any given episode the phrase: Dating is a serious game and one that you should enter into with prayer and with humility. This rule really applies more to men than it does to women, and it is something that my college buddies and I used to tell each other whenever we took a girl out. Ultimately people date in order to pursue marriage see rule 2 so then our dating should be a reflection of marriage.
Is that your goal when you take a girl out? To help sanctify her?
What Does the Bible Say About Dating?
That is what God desires of you every time you go out with a girl men and women that is what you should desire when a guy takes you out. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.
God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.
10 Principles For Christian Dating That Will Transform Lives
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods. Then the anger of the Lord would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly.
So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.
Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Whoever winks the eye causes trouble, but a babbling fool will come to ruin. The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense. The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near. What agreement has the temple of God with idols?
Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty. If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.
So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
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An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
Love In His Image: 7 Rules for Christian Dating
But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. Delight yourself in the Lord , and he will give you the desires of your heart. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.
May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.
Christian Dating Rule #1: Instead of “godliness”, look for growth in your partner’s faith
I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys. As a lily among brambles, so is my love among the young women. As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
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He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Sustain me with raisins; refresh me with apples, for I am sick with love. He who loves wisdom makes his father glad, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth. Hear, O sons, a father's instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching.
Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. A Maskil of David. Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
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For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more.
For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!
For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God.