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Excitement is an understatement when our crush remembers the funny story we told him the last time that we hung out or, really, anything about us. We assume that means that he's just as into us as we are into him and we basically want to scream but we'll smile and stay calm on the outside, of course. It's upsetting when sometimes he remembers what we've talked about and other times, he looks blank when we bring up a previous conversation.
We wonder why he doesn't recall that we had an hour-long talk about something or that we've told him that we're an only child about five times now. He's not serious about us when this is happening. When a guy tells us that he wants to be in a relationship with us, we should definitely believe him.
It's rare that a guy will say this and actually not want that at all because typically, guys who don't love commitment never bring the topic up. This guy is just busy and still interested in us when he says he can see himself dating us seriously and that he thinks we have a future together. Sure, he might be busy right now, and we might wish that we could have more frequent date nights.
But all signs point to this being something good.
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We know how we feel when we're with the right guy: It's kind of like a warm drink on the worst winter day ever or a relaxing yoga class. We feel the opposite when we're with someone who is playing us hot and cold. We never feel relaxed and it always seems like something awkward or upsetting is about to happen. This is a sign that we're not with the right person, even if we like him and even if things seem promising. We should always be really comfortable around someone if we're going to be in a relationship with them.
We swear that the next time that this guy says something to us, it's going to be something that is so romantic it will make every rom-com or drama pale in comparison. We just have this feeling and he can be so charming, we think that he's going to give us the best speech ever. Will he say that we're the girl that he's been waiting for?
Will he finally ask us to be his girlfriend? These things just don't happen and every time we hang out with him, we think that they will. And every time, they just don't. We need someone who is much more stable than that. People talk about "the one that got away" and we might think that this guy will become that if we start dating someone else. We have lots of "what if's" running through our heads.
Let's say that we met another guy and like him and we know that we could start a relationship with him. Something is holding us back, though, and that's this guy.
We keep wishing that we could date him and that he would start acting like a real, actual boyfriend. This is proof that we're being played hot and cold. If we weren't, he would be our boyfriend. How can we tell that a guy is actually dealing with a packed schedule and not blowing us off or playing games?
5 Signs His Hot And Cold Behavior Means He Doesn’t Want To Be With You | Thought Catalog
It's a great sign when he is the one who texts us first and we never have to worry about whether he's going to contact us. Even better and more exciting, he brings up going on the next date and always wants to see us another time. We can remind ourselves that if he wasn't interested, we would never hear from him, and we would never go on dates. The fact that we're still going out with him proves how he feels.
It's frustrating to spend time with someone and hope that the next time we see them, they'll say that we're their girlfriend. Waiting for the DTR moment is not much fun. When we realize that this is the situation that we're in, it's a sign that we're being played. He's acting hot and cold because we assume that he likes us enough to make things official and then it just doesn't happen. We have enough hope to keep hanging out with him. It's best to figure this out soon so we can move on. We should never have to wonder about this.
If a guy wants us to be his girlfriend, he needs to be honest and say it. We would never want to date someone who isn't nice to us. The problem is that this guy is nice and he has moments where he is very caring and romantic. A few moments later, though, he brings up a story involving his ex-girlfriend. This is super confusing. Does he even like us? Why is he talking about her? Shouldn't he be focusing on us instead of his past? We know that he's playing us hot and cold when we're not percent sure that he is only interested in us. He's a charmer, but he could still be into his ex.
The Hot and Cold Guy: Why Is He Hot and Cold (And What to Do About It)
Sometimes we hear a guy say that he's too busy with work to date us. It could be a reason for blowing us off. But if a guy is truly into us and he's really just tied up with work or other commitments at the moment, he's going to tell us that he wishes that he had more time for us. This is only good if he really does make time for us once his schedule opens up, though. Maybe he can see us once a week for a month or so and we can slowly work up to becoming more serious.
Once he stops being so frazzled, he sees us a few times a week. That's when we know that he was telling the truth and really was just busy. There are so many ways that someone can get our hopes up. They swear that they like us and yet are talking to other girls, canceling dates, and never want to define the relationship. Another thing that a guy who is playing a game will do is say that his family would really love us but never introduce us.
This is one of the indicators that things won't go as we expected with this guy. We can remember that we don't deserve to be played hot and cold and that there is someone out there who wouldn't act this way. It'll be so amazing to meet and fall in love with him. Unique lists featuring pop culture, entertainment and crazy facts. Covering the hottest movie and TV topics that fans want. The most LOL-worthy things the Internet has to offer. A fresh take on sports: The only place to satisfy all of your guilty pleasures. The go-to source for comic book and superhero movie fans.
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So basically the takeaway is if a guy shows no interest in your life, your hobbies, what you enjoy, etc. When we share information about ourselves with someone, we are investing in them. We are inviting them into our world because we see the potential for them to become a part of it.
If a guy is into you, he will open up and will peel back that outer layer. He might not necessarily bring out all the skeletons in his closet to play, but he will share information that is more real. There is a big different between knowing about someone and knowing someone. Why does he continue asking you out?
Probably because he has nothing else on the horizon and… why not? A guy pulling out the excuses early on is always a bad omen. For all he knows you have a line of guys waiting for their shot with you.
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If you wanna go out with him again, great. If you start dating someone else, whatever. Looking back on my own extensive dating history, the guys who called when they said they would were the ones who were serious and very into me. And things never lasted more than three dates with the guys who made me sweat it out. Men are competitive by nature. No guy is gonna let a girl he likes get snatched up by some other dude.
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He may want to hang out with you, he may want to hook up with you, but that is not the same as being with you. I would definitely recommend this book to any women who may be having issues within a relationship or with the men in their life in general. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again.
Your happiness should be accountable for theirs. It is important to judge his behaviour when it comes to you.