Funny dating short stories

Of course, if it's a first date, the person you're on a date with will probably wonder if you're texting about him or her. At least this guy could read moods enough to know that his date with a girl he met on Tinder wasn't going too well. That's why he decided to sneak a peek at her phone during the date. Lucky for him, she wasn't on Tinder again swiping more guys to date. She was actually texting a friend about him. He leaned closer and caught a glimpse of her describing him as a "Fat James Franco. While texting on a date might be seen as an insult or deal breaker for the person who is the subject of the text, it can be seen as a saving grace for the person sending the texts.

Just think about how it helped save this girl from a dreaded night of spandex swagger. Luckily, her cell phone had a 47 percent battery charge, leaving her plenty of ammo for a desperate text to her friend. She wasted no time texting her friend to give her "the call" so that she could get out quick.

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Who could blame her? There are very few circumstances that could make showing up to a date in spandex acceptable. The first is if you're meeting at a dock to go scuba diving. The second is if he is a professional cyclist who just finished an Olympic race. And the last is if it's Halloween, he is really buff and he came as Superman. When it comes to picking out clothes for a first date, few things could be worse than settling on spandex. An outfit would have to be really extreme to beat that kind of material. But if anything could beat spandex, it would have to be Buddhist monk robes.

So just imagine this girl's reaction when her blind date showed up dressed as a monk Obviously, she asked what this kind of get-up was all about, since, you know, people don't just walk around wearing monk robes. It turns out that in their previous "about me" discussion before agreeing to this blind date, he left out one little important detail.

FLARE staff rounded up their legit worst dating experiences—all for your enjoyment

It just so happens that he was in the process of becoming a Buddhist monk. It's fun to have hobbies and good to have interests. After all, that's part of what makes life enjoyable. While we all admire someone who has a real passion for something, it always gets a little weird when that person takes that interest to an obsessive level.

This guy is one of those people, and his passion AKA his obsession just happens to be cats. Fortunately, this little obsession was revealed before the woman had to follow through on their date, since they stopped by his place first to see if his cats "approved. Needless to say, she didn't approve, and the date ended before it began. A lot of people meet online nowadays. That is, unless they lie about some of it. No doubt, the woman agreeing to this date wasn't expecting to go out with a married man. He might not be married, but his car suggested otherwise.

It's understandable if your car is broken down and you have to find alternative transportation. But you would think that anyone having to borrow a friend's getaway car from his or her recent wedding would at least run it through the car wash on the way to pick up his date. Talk about sending mixed messages! Nobody likes to think that there is a hunk of food stuck between his or her teeth.

13 Funny First Date Stories That’ll Make You Crack Up

That can always lead to embarrassment, especially when you're on a date with someone new. This guy didn't like food being stuck between his teeth one bit. In fact, he hated it so much that he didn't mind picking it out in front of his date. He didn't use a toothpick, floss or even just his fingernail. Instead, he opted for a much more unique tool to pick his teeth—a golf tee. Not just any golf tee either, but a used golf tee that he found in the car. Maybe he does this often so he thought nothing about it, or maybe he thought he would be all smooth and pull a MacGyver by repurposing a golf tee.

Either way, we seriously doubt that earned him a goodnight kiss. Typically speaking, most men are taller than women. That isn't always the case though, and for some couples, it's actually the opposite. This girl found herself out on a first date with a guy who was shorter than she was, but their height difference didn't seem to bother her. It also didn't seem to bother him, especially after he discovered that his face was the same height as her chest. They both came to this realization when she hugged him.

He could have pulled away after a brief moment like a normal person would do, especially to not make it feel awkward for her.


Instead, he gave her the old motorboat. Whether he had a little captain in him or he's a pervert on all occasions, we think it's safe to assume there wasn't a follow-up date after that.

If you're going on a first date, the safe bet is to always take your date someplace neutral. That's why restaurants and movie theaters are usual spots for first dates. Even a coffee shop or a picnic in the park is a good choice.

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But, a frog jump festival? Probably not a lady's first choice of entertainment. That was one guy's idea of a good time, though. As if that didn't make the date bad enough, his "wife" showed up. Of course, they left after that, but only because the wife had taken out a restraining order on him.

On second thought, maybe that was why he chose the frog jump festival since most women aren't hopping to go there pun intended. If his date was surprised to find herself at a frog festival, then she was really surprised to find herself out with a married man. No wonder she ended this post with WorstFirstDate. It's never good when a first date ends badly.

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Sometimes, you know from the start that it isn't going as it should, so you call it quits early. Once you've read these tweets, you'll probably want to stay home with your cat. I think that nowadays no one uses letters to comunicate I'd of taken him to dollar tree, bought him a packet of tissues and lotion If you are a psychic, and you don't end a relationship by saying "I just don't see a future with you" you are just wasting everybody's time!

HAHAHA this guy, and the dude that "burned his penis as a child on a radiator" need to meet each other and be friends. Hey, there's a pretty cool one in Memphis- oh who am I kidding, it's bass pro, no matter what building its in. Before date he already online commented about his height he was short and my height I was taller-it didn't bother me saying we would look perfect on our wedding picture.

After we met he kept talking about heights his parents how short they were etc and later when after dinner he dropped me home I gave him kiss on cheek goodnight and left he texted me that I'm a teasing whore and I should never say anything about his height I never did. Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB.

Not your original work? Went out on a first date with a guy that was pissed at his ex girlfriend.

18 Funny Dating Stories That Will Make You Cringe With Embarrassment

He talked about how he was going to kill her. I made it home but I had to slam the door with his foot sticking through. These were hilarious, and make even my worst date seem quite normal. I feel like most of these people were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup. My worst never actually got as far as the first date. As soon as I agreed to one, he grabbed my tits at 4: Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Please enter email address We will not spam you. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Continue with Facebook Continue with Google or.

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You can read more about it and change your preferences here. Martjea 2 years ago I think that's very clever! Amanda Panda 2 years ago Stealing this idea for future reference Katinka Min 2 years ago good reply!!

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