You may find him swearing at you and not showing you love, pulling away rather than closer. He just needs his own space and time alone. Many Jamaican women are like this too. Yes I said it…creases! In fact if your Jamaican man starts dishing out trash talk early, or physical abuse, leave him..!
They think they can change him…they think, I am better than they were…stop kidding your self. Take some time, if he is really meant to be your man, he will be there with our without you becoming baby mama Number 4. A lot of women who are unfamiliar with Jamaican Culture, assume that these things mean you are special.
A Jamaican man knows what to say to women, They are blessed in this sense. Take time, test him, know for sure you are special on his list, by how he treats you, is he patient with you? Will he do anything you ask of him? Yes, food is that important for a Jamaican man. However, you can stay on your course to lose weight and still cook for your man. On the other hand, Jamaica men are some of the best cooks on this side of the western hemisphere.
If you find a Jamaican man who is intent on wooing you or if you have made a home with him, be prepared for the orgasmic meals he will whip up in the kitchen. He will have your taste buds salivating on the regular. Jamaican men very hard workers. A Jamaican man will most likely be working a number of jobs in order he can provide for you and the family. They believe men should be the providers and they will see to it they provide for you and there is food in the house.
Do not take this the wrong way but, although they work, most Jamaican men do not think women should stay at home. They believe women should go out and work too and if he finds out that your occupation is to stay at home with or without children and depend solely on them, he will properly chastise you. A Jamaican man will tell you outright what he proposes for a romantic night.
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Most of the times he will be able to provide solid evidence to support his dreams of romancing you. Um, do you think tourists only visit the island for the sun, sea, and sand? Yes, Jamaican men know how to deliver. A night with a Jamaican man will leave you languid , relaxed and smiling from ear to ear the next morning. Do not be surprised when you find yourself booking another trip to Jamaica.
Jamaican men often come from big families, so during the course of the relationship, he will introduce you to a whole boatload of relatives. Honey, if and when you see his parents, aunts or grandmother, do not start imagining diamond rings in your head and do not imagine yourself walking down the aisle. I repeat do not think this is a sign he will pop the question. Family and friendship go hand in hand meaning that if he says he is going to just hang with friends, often times those friends are his cousins and brothers.
It does not stop there; If he really rates you if he really likes you , you can, with the right amount of persuasion get him to do things that other men would not do. Yes, Jamaican men are very different than black American men…. Thanks for sharing your story. I agree that nothing is going to come out of the situation. I really am not expecting anything; I believe if something starts off wrong then more than likely it will end up wrong.
I just got caught up! You are correct in a sense that maybe I am living some type of fantasy but my fantasy ends when I wake up. Needless to say that friendship went nowhere quickly! I would love to seriously date a Jamaican but the right Jamaican. I knew what you had to offer from jump.
The day I want more will be the day I completely move on. Hi Connie, I was in a similar situation to yours. He charmed me and swept me off my feet. I had never met anyone so charming, sexy, and so into me before. Sex was great and so passionate every time. I thought that I was keeping things in perspective as far as playing my role as a mistress but before I realized after some time that my feelings ran deeper than I thought.
I too never thought that I would have been in such a scandalous situation and I struggled with that daily. None the less, He eventually left his wife and we moved in together. I was so enamored by the swagger that Jamaican men often have. You are no match for what they are capable of dishing out!!
It is a very tight knit culture and they LOVE being with one another to the exclusion of others. Not all jamaican men are like that but my ex and All his friends family and associates were cheating a lot, abusive in various ways , and unapologetically so. Furthermore, what goes around does come back around was the lesson I learned dearly so consider your actions. I am not judging as I was in a similar situation but if you have an opportunity to get out-get out NOW. Nothing good will come of this situation. Take control while you have the chance….
WOW, thank you for sharing! I totally agree that my situation is wrong and I am slowly backing away from the situation in my own way. It is a shameful situation and I am not proud of myself for letting it go for so long. When I read all the other posts on here I am thinking okay when are his true colors going to really show? Nor have I experience any of the other games some of these other men seem to play.
I do agree with you when you say they are a very close community. I often tease him about that. Although I do believe he cares for me I do not believe that he would serious date me if he was single because I am not Jamaican. He says this is not true but I disagree. So the question of the century is why am I still seeing him??? We have connected on a mental and emotional level which means more to me than sex.
BUT I am wrong and I would not want someone doing to me what I am doing to his wife so I really am going to stop seeing him. I am so happy you have the heart to be so honest…. Has your gut ever warned you about something before…? You sound like such a down to earth woman… I was wondering this past weekend about what your decision would be…. I am glad you cancelled the flight…. I am hearing alot of stories about women abroad and Jamaican men… to be honest I am in one of those situations right now….
I dont know if I should be sad about that, or laugh…. I totally understand the feeling groomed thing…. Thank you for sharing your story and comments… Rastafari Lives. I am dating a jamaican man i am so unsure with him we have only been dating for 3 months but these stories have me scared………… Its like he wants me to believe he want us to get married and him come back to the U. To be with me Which sounds lovely but how do i know hes serious i dont want to doubt him cause hes jamaican but how can u trust someone u barely know he never asks me for things he tries to make me close friends with his family and friends everything sounds good we never spent anytime together but he tells me he love me is it possible and by the way we met on facebook and hes trying to convince me to come to jamaica marry him and we will have an awesome life together hes 18 and im 26 he has no children i really have nothing to be suspcious about really but sometimes he seems a little distant for two people trying to get to know one another would i be nagging to expect more communication?????
He is alot younger than you….. Take your time with this one….. I agree with this girl who replied to you Dreamy!
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Becareful and take your time. Keep them guessing until they understand no one take you for granted! What is the goal?.. From my personal experience.. So, they prey upon women that they feel will ultimately provide some kind of service for them.. What kind of Service?.. I did have the opportunity to visit Jamaica with this man and I learned his mother had open relationships with numerous men and had lots of children.. I have been to Jamaica many times and dated a Jamaican man who live in Jamaica for 2 years but he would never make the commitment to come to the USA.
I recently visited Jamaica for vacation and met this younger guy who seems to be very sweet. In contrast to the previous man this one is ready to apply for the visitors Visa to come out and visit. This is my problem, I know that the average Jamaica makes very little money and they just get by on bills and expenses. I bought groceries the first time I went to his home because there was a hurricane coming and I was meeting the family for the first time and wanted to contribute to say thank you for taking me in.
After that it seems that it was expected and there was no end to them asking for money. Finally I just said no more because I have my own family to support and wanted to see if he would still want to date. He did say he understood and for a long time he did not ask for money. After my last visit he said he would come out and I could apply for the Visa then asked for money to go to a soccer match after I returned to the states.
I said no because we needed to save money to get him out here. Soon after he changed his mind about coming and wanted to stay together but I broke it off because the cost of visiting and calling was so much and he still seemed afraid to come. He said asking for the money for the soccer match was a test. I said I will not be doing that and I will not work harder than him to make arrangements for him to come visit if he decides he wants to. This Guy is different because he has his own car, he drives, lives in an apartment in town, he is active and works as a scuba dive instructor at one of the resorts.
We have more in common and I would like to know him more. After I returned home he was asking when I would come visit again and I asked about him coming out. He said okay he will go down this week and get started on the Visa. I have looked into this in the past and talked to many JA women and men. This is something I have heard. I read last night that he can show strong evidence that an interested party has the funds to support him while he visits instead. I want to trust this guy and I understand on their salary saving money is difficult especially that amount of money.
On the other hand I do not want to be a fool and be taken for my money. I do not think he is like that but JA men are charming and skilled with women. I really want a chance to know him. He is 10 years younger, has never been married and I am not sure why he would be interested in an middle aged USA girl with all the beautiful women in JA. It makes me afraid that I will be foolish to bring him here and will get into another situation where I am supplying all the money and he will end up not really caring about me but just getting what he can from me.
I want to give this a chance but I am afraid. I do not know what to do. I can sense you are a good persom… dont give him the money…see if he is still interested in you… thats my advice…. If he is really interesyed in you he will make every effort to make things work out between you… If you want you can also tell him if he comes up with 3 quarters you will put in the rest…. I dont know if that suits you because you want him to come to the US as soon as possible I am assuming… those are my ideas…..
Much love and Respect. I am an non-jam woman and been dating a Ja man for almost 2 years. Why does this man keep everything hidden inside? Why does he find it so hard to show affection? I wonder if growing up in Ja makes it hard for a man to show love… appreciation…etc. I was raised in US and this is my first time with Ja man. Cna somebody give me some insight?
Thats how many Jamaicans were raised. Just point it out to him, and allow him the time and space to come around. To sum it up, MOST Jamaican men are cunning, expert liars, manipulative, over-sexed, explosive, demanding, chronic cheaters, controlling, possessive, disrespectful, entitled, and ignorant cannot be reasoned with , and have no clue or interest in what it means to be in a healthy relationship!!!
And usuallythis is all wrapped up in an Extremely sexy, charming, and appealing package!! But if you are NOT……. He was diffinately a liar. Hey why did this fool want me to have his child?? I hate my Jamaican man. We have been in this on again off again relationship for the past two ears and for the most part its been off.
When I first got with him he had a girlfriend so I was not interested in becomming sexual with him. Needless to say he had lied to me and ended up touring Africa with her the next month. Everytime I call it off, he pops back up promising things will get better.
I thought things were on the right track until I got pregnant and he begged me to abort.
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He said it was not the right time and that the next one we would keep. He is constantly on the go and sporadic with his appearances. He wants me when he wants me and thats that. I decided to go back to Americans. I married my Jamaican husband in April, and just found out he cheated on me in June. I was there the whole month of May and just got back when i found out a week ago. Confirmed with the woman who was Jamaican that it happened, and he said to her he was married and it all went down anyway as they say in history.
We had plans paperwork in with US immigration etc family involved etc etc. Him say he didnt think I would find out, HA! I can laugh and cry all at the same time. We have been together for 9 months, and I have visited every month. Him say my P was jus for him, but I guess his P was for whomever. I am really sorry to hear that.
Long distance relationships are hard enough as it is let alone having to worry about cheating…. I dont know what to say…. I hope you feel better soon Delilah Jah Guidance. I am 21 years old, live in the U. S and my Jamaican man is the same age. We just recently had a son and he is so proud to be a father!! Every where he goes he shows his friends and family pictures of our son and brags about him lol.
August 8th will make our two year anniversary.. I am sooo in love with this man, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I didnt exactly meet my boyfriend in jamaica, but we talked over the phone for a month before i went there my close friend hooked us up.. After reading several post i realize no relationship is perfect, there are cultural differences,and how each person views the relationship has a lot to do with it.
I love dat, cant say nothing else bcuz u said it all…. OMG motha passed six years ago an she preached, make a man respect u.. A strong woman that will not take any drama, and keeps her man on point. Its the woman that make a real man. I meant and married my Jamaican man 10 years ago. He came from a beautiful family.
The family always treated me well and I still love them to this day. My problem with my husband was after 5 years of marriage he became increasingly jealous, possessive and abusive. He was from Indian decent, which I do not think is much a difference. In the end, when I tried ending the relationship, he tried attempted murder on me.
He is currently in prison serving his sentence. Bear in mind I never cheated on him, loved him endlessly but we did constantly fight and I would never let him beat me up. He would hit me and I would hit back. But needless to say he still says he will always love me and he wants me back and does not want another wife that I will always be his wife. I do not blame his homicidal tendencies on his culture, however, I do know alot of Jamaican men to be very possessive of their women.
Wow, thanks for sharing. I guess there isnt much to say since he tried to kill you. You sound like a down to earth woman, and you deserve to be treated like a Queen. Much luck, and love in the Future. So I just returned from an amazing 10 day stay in Jamaica, and sure enough, I met someone and fell for everything about him…the way he looked, the way he danced, the way he talked to me and the attention he showed me.
I am actually supposed to go back the end of this month for 5 days to stay with him. However after reading all of these posts, I am a little skeptical about continuing this relationship, because so many of the things he tells me and talks about are similar if not identical to what I have been reading. He lied about his age, until the day before I left, when he told me he was 21 I am He also informed me he had a girl in Canada, which he met two months prior to meeting me, but he stated they were having problems and he liked me more than her.
He did go out of his way to visit my hotel where I was staying and to see me as much as possible. He showed me plenty of affection and attention, and made me 1 at all times. However Im beginning to wonder if this is all part of the scheme. I have been warned by others as well about jamaican men doing all these things and making a woman feel special and like a queen, only with alterior motives such as money, material things, a way to the states, etc. I have already been put on a guilt trip for rent money, because supposedly he lost his job working at the resort where he was employed.
I was also told that his home was broken into last month, and most of his clothes were stolen, as well as his TV and DVD player.
10 Reasons I Don’t Date Jamaican Men
Of course, me being the person I am, felt bad and bought him a few things which I plan to bring with me when I return. I also have to pay to top up his Digicel credits in order for him to call me. I have been keeping track of the minutes to make sure he is not using them to call other girls, etc. But I am scared that I am really going to fall in love with him, give him my all, just to find out I am one of many, or for him to come here and cheat or leave me for someone else. I just feel like everything happened too fast and I dont know what to believe.
But at the same time, I have never felt like this about another man. I almiost feel like he put some crazy love spell on me. I do not want to be taken for a fool, but I also dont want to judge him based on the reputations of Jamaican men. Any advice would be much appreciated. Kat…there is so much I want to say. I say if it feels good and its ok with your pocket book, then do it. If it hurts you emotionally or financially dont do it.
Based on what I just read you dont seem to be in any distress over the situation. Take your time…and get to know him…. We are both I love this man more than i have ever loved any man in my whole life. I met him on facebook to be totally honest. He was so respectful and sweet. Usually i do not bother responding to such messages but for some reason i felt drawn to him. I had several conversations with him on facebook and we seemed to have similar interest and sounded like we had similar goals and were looking for the same thing relationship wise.
Our first phone call conversation lasted 4 hours.
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He made me laugh, cry, smile, blush. I felt his sincerity and heart through a phone conversation. We have been together for quite some time now. Every time i speak to him even though we live together and have been together for a long time i still learn something new from him everyday. I do not know about all jamaican men but i know i found a jamaican man who is not perfect but he is perfect for me. I have never felt so much love from anyone not even my own parents in my whole life. I met him while on vacation and while going through a divorce I know.
He was so persistent, he called everyday all day and we would talk for hours. He never asked me for anything and always told me he cared for me and wanted to get to know me better. Looking back now, I see the red flags…. He and his family had always assured me he was childless….. Till this day, this man continues to lie and gives me a very difficult time in caring for our child. I now regret ever meeting him because I feel betrayed, manipulated, and cheated.
He made me believe we were having our first child together and that he had intentions of being a devoted husband and father and it was all lies. The silver lining to this story is I still win, I have my beautiful child and what does he have…. Its hard to tell because I dont know all aspects of the situation. All I can say is, he obviously likes having her around. You must remember Jamaican men are somewhat fascinated with foreign women if thats what you are. I dont have enough information. What a crock of shit. I swear jamaicans talk a great game but they are from from what they speak.
They lie, cheat, and degrade for control. To be with a jamaican its all about control. Most americans try to take a dominant role in a relationship for control…jamaicans on the other hand tear down or try to ruin your esteem all in hopes that you depend on them and only them. If your dating a caribbean break up. And if your thinking about dating one…run! I do understand your perspective, however there does exist women involved in loving monogamous relationships with Jamaican men. Raspect and Love, Rastafari. I have written an article entitled, 8 reasons Jamaican men cheat. That should be helpful…but 90 percent of the reason is they have a very weak family social circle traditionally where the women are treated as second class citizens much like in other 3rd world cultures.
They like to spread seed while the mother is left to take care of them with little to no affection once the baby is born. This affects the children which the mothers fustration and hopeful expectations fall short. This is a cycle thats been spanning for generations. I have alot of Jamaican men ive addef on Facebook and i swear that if u r pretty they will say i love you quick, then the ask for money,minutes on their phone, or shoe clothes western union, the list goes on.
Yea and i wana marry you and have a baby, and need a visa, all this is the same bs everytime, they r all trained from their uncles to begg for money from us they think americans r so rich. And yes they r so persistent,liars and big sneaky cheaters. Flee from me u enemy!!!! I am so sorry but I must agree since I have experienced something similar, and I keep hearing the same story over and over again. Jamaican men telling foreign women they love them, then beating them, or lying to them, or having other women on the side. I know there are some great Jamaican men out there.
But for a foreign woman who meets her man in Jamaica…? She has to be extra careful…. I have been dating a Rastaman for about one year and half. It has changed mi life forever. Holding a positive out look is key. I have been to JA 6 times this year. Do you have any advice about the VISA. I have been looking at K1 or k3 also he is musician so the P1 p3 We intend to marry and want to be together but waiting one year to start our lives together is painful.
Do you have any advice for mi. Thanks for your time. I will say this He was perfect in every way…cooked, cleaned, caring, attentive, loving and the sex was…. However I KNEW he was not husband material… Jamaicans are very good at creating exotic fantasies for the women they persue! Our fantasy lasted a mere 4 months and believe me it was too short for me, however had it lasted any longer I would have been obsessed with this man, I had already started to confuse lust with love!
Thank god things fell apart! Every time I think of him I smile and I rather that than have regrets or hurt! What a mature way of looking at the situation. Yes Jamaican men are very good at sweeping a woman off her feet and giving her the illusion of love. Thanks for sharing, Rastafari. I have just written a new e-book just for American women to learn all about dating Jamaican men. I love this site so honest…anyway I am involved with a jamaican man who lied and told me he was seperated. I am afro american and I learned not to fall in love cuz he lied so I just use him for money and sex…the key is to with hold your heart and your feelings just a little cuz the jamaican man has ulterior motives…my thing is play them for they play you.
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