My 14 year old daughter is dating a 20 year old

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Get to know him as a friend

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Here's what the numbers show. Rank-and-file Democrats snub invite to shutdown lunch with Trump. Castro explains Puerto Rico campaign trip: South Korea seizes North Korean paintings due to sanctions. Heavy rain causing concerns in West, wintry threat to eastern US at end of week. FDA approves new closure device for heart defect in premature babies. Refugee-owned falafel shop serves meals to government employees during shutdown. Become closer to her boyfriend and carefully insert yourself into his life.

Have a conversation with your daughter about her excitement and experience instead of voicing your concerns. Make it about sharing what she is going through and what her fears are. Reassure her that love is not something to be afraid of. Tell her to embrace the intensity of her emotions so she can always remember these feelings. Begin placing responsibility onto your daughter that keeps her involved in her own family's life. For example you can decide that Sundays she must help you to cook so that you can pass on your tricks to her.

Go with her to do STI screenings and teach her that one must always keep getting checked regardless of monogamy and commitment. It's just good habit. You already sound like a great parent so just continue being that. My first love was 14 years older than me and I can tell you that your concerns are justified. If he begins to mistreat her or you see any signs of emotional abuse then you can put your foot down in a loving and parental way.

Her boyfriend and his family should be well aware of this fact. Things are above-board and within bounds, it seems. If you trust your daughters judgement and maturity then you can ration your concerns or reserve them for indications of the pace of progress in the relationship. Relative age difference will diminish quickly over time. I don't have much else to add but I would bring you to note that age is not just a chronological number.

There is biological age and your mental and emotional age to consider. The specific circumstances in your daughter's instance might not be out of order. Your daughter is in a high risk, but also high reward situation. You can't and shouldn't prevent the relationship, but you should set some ground rules to minimize the risks, and maximize the rewards.

I am reminded of an old American story of a year old girl who chased and won a year old military officer, who later became a General, William Westmoreland. At an early age, she had latched on to a "winner," and her life was made. I see a possibility of that happening here. It's comforting to know that the young man "seems a very sensible person, and owns his own successful business. If he is also "honourable," and this is the key, he will protect your daughter. If this is the case, "the game is worth the candle.

The main thing is to set some standards.

First, that "protection" is used for all physical activities. Second, that she keeps track of where the relationship is at all times. Third, that she comes to you for help and guidance if she ever feels that she's in over her head. Adolescent girls are more mature than guys by several years , in the late teens and early 20s. So the eight year difference in ages may be more like four or five in maturity.

It could be that two people who are both unusually mature for their ages "found" each other at a young age. If that's the case, they will be more compatible over the long term than either with other, more "random," people closer to their own age. It's also possible that one or both of them senses this. As parents, I wouldn't stand in their way, but I would "stand by" for possible trouble. Thank you for your interest in this question. Because it has attracted low-quality or spam answers that had to be removed, posting an answer now requires 10 reputation on this site the association bonus does not count.

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What’s the Right Age for Teens to Start Dating? The Great Debate

Tom Au 1 7. Please use comments for clarification, not tangential observations or answers -- use Parenting Chat if you want to discuss! Sorry, I don't understand your point, "I can only think he's with her for one reason! If you're not a native English speaker, that phrase "for one reason! Fattie, I am not a native speaker, but isn't that contradictory to OP: It contradicts the premise. Based on the logic, it shows that "Reductio ad absurdum. You have knowledge of the guys work and living situation. They presumably live close You have another set of parents you can communicate with.

You KNOW about the situation. It's not a secret. These are good things. You sound like a great parent and I wish the very best to you and your daughter. My year is the first year to be required to stay in full time education until the academic year in which we turn The child in question is either my year or the year below. I'm not saying this is a bad answer, but it is quite anecdotal. Fattie Age difference matters less once your older, but as a teenager the gap is much more pronounced and thus concerning. Fattie respectfully, that sounds like a complete assumption on your part. Why not do both?

Peter Peter 2, 6 Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation is not constructive and has been moved to chat. Several answers already, but I want to address a couple of your concerns. That was 20 years ago, so I can tell you how it turned out. We are happier than ever. We have 7 amazing kids, ages 18 to 2. Our oldest is already succeding at university.

Martin Argerami Martin Argerami 5 You married a year-old at 28? You ol' dog, you! I married a year-old, when I was And, 20 years ago, legal age in Argentina for marriage, not to go to the war was 21, so her parents had to sign an authorization: My husband and I got married early and travelled after, together.

I'm glad this all worked out for you, but it's very anecdotal and I don't feel it offers OP any real advice. Giving birth at 17 means that the person in question would never get to experience fully independent life. I'd be extremely wary of such advice.

What Age Is Appropriate for Dating?

The general rule of thumb for age appropriateness is half plus 7. The obligatory XKCD cartoon: Pete Pete 2 2. How did you do the math? Not that I disagree with your answer but using the rule of thumb here may not be the best argument. This is terrible advice. Just adding that this is a well-known "metric" anti creep factor in Scandinavia as well. How is that relevant for the parent asking advice about their teenage daughter In 3 years they will be a perfectly acceptable couple.

Just don't let them do things until then: This is more of a comment than an answer, no? I wrote my opinion about this topic as the "grown up guy" to help the questioner decide what to do. You have not even mentioned that important fact. All these subjects can be discussed honestly and with respect.

Unfortunately, with a year-old, it's impossible to say if it's really love. What does "Is it love? Omegacron - to be fair, that is a generalization. I was around that age when my husband and I started dating and he is 4 years older than me. We have been together for 6 years and happily married for almost 4 years now. That said, we were also both in the same stage of life and met in university which does not seem to be the case in the OP. I would like to know because I strongly suspect it's the culprit of all the divorces. With a little less "true love" and "Love" with a capital "L" people might end up actually getting to know each other as people, liking each other and marrying because they understand they are a good fit and can work together long term even when everything isn't all rosy.

What do marriage and education have to do with each other here? Peter Mortensen 1 6. Chuck Muffinn Chuck Muffinn 91 1. This phrase is often misused in this way and it's is a very big problem when discussing issues like this.

No, it usually refers to emotional and cognitive maturity, not physical maturity. I hope this of some comfort. Throwaway Throwaway 1 3 Graham Graham 3 8. Your main motivation is probably to protect your daughter from whatever harm may befall her. I would concentrate on exactly this, and only this. I see two objective risks you have to be concerned about: Or wait till shes older. The fact that your worried about it is already a good thing, I know a few 16 year old girls that are more mature than any 20 year old men, if you both like each other and consent I don't see any reason why you shouldn't go for it.

The maturity gap between a 16 year old and a 21 year old is ridiculous. I mean she's still at school, for heaven's sake. If you feel like she's jail bait now then you will probably continue to feel like that if you go on to date her. The age gap isn't the issue, it's your feelings. Perhaps you should leave this one alone. I see this as fine. Reason being the age gap isn't to vast.

Plus girls mature quicker than guys. She probably has the mentality of an 18 year old and you being a guy the mentality of an 18 year old. Let's face it, us guys are immature. Hey I'm 17 now but when I was 16 I was with a 20 year old for 6 months. Overall, the relationship was fine. We were able to do more things because he drove and worked full time so we went on really cute dates etc.

A few of my friends thought it was 'weird' but my family were accepting.

17 year old daughter dating a 20 year old - ajypeges.tk - prodotti tipici sardi

Obviously there were a few annoying things, such as not being able to go clubbing with him and feeling like a child when we hung out with his friends: Some people start university later in life, I'm starting uni this year and I'm 20 lol. Oops, nobody has posted in the last few hours. Why not re-start the conversation? Oops, nobody is replying to posts. Why not reply to an un-answered thread? Poll Join the discussion. Watched Threads View All.