New friends are always good, and who knows, maybe one of your friends would be the 'perfect' fit for your new friend? Often times the best matches are made between friends who know the 'perfect' person, that perhaps your social circle didn't previously encompass. Bad cat and ruby2sd4y, what is a "girl gamer" or a "guy gamer"? This year at the Homegrown Music Festival. Sponsored by PDD, giving local, hopeless romantics the opportunity to meet in a fun, social setting. Also, there isn't anything wrong with weirdos. After living in this city for 8 years I am ready to move on.
I do not consider the dating scene to be non-existent, it just takes a little bit of effort on both parties to get the train moving i. More importantly it's a matter of asking yourself "am I ready to meet someone new, exciting and fun? Things tend to happen when you are not looking. Not sure what people mean when they say the "hook-up scene"? Would that be when people have parties and unintentionally have sexual relations with a person s they thought were "cute" for five minutes?
More or less bars are the next stage in that process. Alas, I must be honest! For some time I have been consumed by some strange hope that a womyn I used to love will realize our love meant "oh so much more" and to express that love to me once again. To any men or womyn out there in the same boat, don't waste your time, again jump ship, seriously. The person you were once with is no longer in love with you, they have changed and possibly resent their entire time they spent with you. Heartbreak aside, buck up, stop living in the past and take control of your life, wasting months on end thinking about the past and wishing it could have been different is like being tortured relentlessly by some freaky ghost.
Like Curtis Mayfield would say just "move on up" out of it, would be my best advice. I know it's difficult to grasp, but some people choose to be single; sanity, past experience, etc. I fell in love and am still in love with Duluth, that love has been attributed to my time spent here and a relationship that developed and flourished some of the best times in my life. For me, if you are living in the past, get out fast. San Francisco here I come. I think I figured out what a "gamer" is.
Originally, in the context of this thread, I thought it meant "someone who plays someone for a fool" as in a "player. Sorry but I am kind of new on the planet. How can you tell when a boy likes a girl? He stares at HER shoes. This is really great. I wasn't expecting this kind of reaction maybe something along the lines of, "go to this basic bar, meet guys, visit park point!
There is some worthy advice and a lot of tough love, which most of us needs to hear sometimes. I agree that when you are "out on the town" it is super easy to hook-up if you want it here in Duluth. A hook up can be whatever you want, from just kissing to full on knocking boots. Although this statement may be lopsided towards the females. Males usually have to work a little harder to get their hook-ups. We females think we are entitled to perfection sometimes. It's just that these types of drunken hook-ups rarely lead to a satisfying relationship.
Someone usually wants something more. It's an old story. Dating can be difficult no matter where you live, and I think making it even a little more difficult is that it is now a multi-million maybe billion?
Just consider again all those dating sites promising happiness, Sex and the City re-run episodes, and countless self-help books about the subject He's Just Not That Into You, anyone? How is anyone supposed to live up to any of that? Ugh, we can't and we shouldn't. Dating is a lot of hubaloo with a side of constant bruised ego. Meeting someone we like can make it worth it. There are single people in Duluth!
Take care of each other! PDD should indeed sponsor more in-real-time get-togethers. I'm married so I'm not on the prowl. But I have made some new pals at the annual bday party. Some people might make some new lovers there, if that's what they want. Yes, girl gamer as in "I can roll a d20 and slay the hell out of that dragon" rather than "Don't you want to buy me some new shoes? The "find your niche" advice could be used for any non-nerdy types as well. Guy wants to take a knitting class for the hell of it? Girl wants to hang out at the firing range?
Guy at swing dance lessons? Fighting the women off. Go outside of your normal realm, experiment and have fun - you might meet someone special you might never have crossed paths with otherwise. If it makes anyone feel better I have friends who live in NYC and they say the dating scene sucks there, as everyone is always looking for someone better than the one they're with. She's gonna get those new heels all covered in salt and grime stepping over the snowbank on the way into Quinlans, and I sure am not gonna throw my back out lifing her over the snowbank.
I know I should quit while I'm ahead, but I've got to add one thing. When I was in college back home visiting my friend and I would go to Grandma's sports garden and keep a tally of all the guys that WEREN'T wearing a backward baseball cap and jeans. Occasionally you'd find someone in Dockers and a golf shirt, but there was never anyone in dress pants, and the only people wearing jackets and ties were the ones who had just bailed from a wedding party somewhere.
I'm not on the scene anymore, but isn't that still pretty much how it is? I mean the ladies certainly do dress up for a night on the town, many of them do, anyway. It's like a race to the bottom, exact opposite of what Claire said about NYC. You men are not looking hard enough. Men, here's your post-college field guide. Are you from "The Cities" or live in a hipster city? You are in like Flynn. Built for speed or comfort. Shore tourist traps in summer, art exhibitions, picnics, faux hipster coffee shops and nature trails.
New Doctors and Nurses - if you are not intimidated by a woman who makes more than you I'm not and you are willing to be a house husband with an allowance, this is your scene. Handyman skills are a must. Your ass is gonna be busy. Too focused on work. They get get lonely in the second year. Built for speed, not comfort. Rangers - Iron Range women are easily identified by their birthing hips. Their career aspirations will sink if they think you will marry them.
Very stable and loyal. Low maintenance and easy going. Lack of physical exertion is an issue after child birth. Dad and brothers drink too much. Built for comfort, not speed. Summer street dances in their home towns. West End Cougar - Fun, fun, fun, but keep it a limited engagement because of ongoing complications such as loser ex-husband, wild children and her binge drinking. Will make you crazy at the end of your relationship, but not before. Almost Graduated - Bored Cities girl who is looking to date a townie for a change. They don't want to get married yet, but you better be marriage material.
Free places to stay when visiting the Twin Cities. Be on your toes. Park Point with visitors. East End Townie - This is a very rare species. Family has deep roots. Attractive in an exotic scandanavian way. This species can be segmented further into a wild child, a homebody or a slacker.
Has propensity to either party too much, let themselves go by age 30 if they are not married. PS - the best advice is the first post from Aleasha, the woman with the great profile pic. You are one super observant SOB!
The details are all so right! As an ex-cities granola girl, who's lived on the range and is currently a nurse, I can relate to your post on so many levels. I think there's more nuances that haven't been mentioned, but you pretty much nailed the obvious ones.
My friends and I discuss this often as we are cute yeah, that sounds bad in my head too grad students. Duluth has little to no young, attractive, educated, single men. We go out, meet men, and get hit on often, but our main aggressors are 22 year old undergrads or 30 something no-collegers. We absolutely love this city and would like to stay here, but we know that the sad truth is that we will have to move to a larger city to meet men that match us. We joke about how wanting to leave this town to finally meet a man helps motivate us to finish our M.
So sad for you Is. I'm a blue-collar high-school dropout dating a woman with a masters degree and teaches at a university. Too bad your criteria for finding men to date is so snotty. I forsee many cold nights for you. Just lower those standards. Trade the salary for an artistic niche. Most my age are involved in their destined-to-be-eternal college romance, or dudes trying to get lucky. In the last five years I've had some awesome girls fall into my lap, but now is the time to start from scratch.
Knowing a load of people is sort of a curse. Being a new kid on the scene will likely help in meeting folks. I agree that early 30s is a super hard time to date in this town. I get out a lot, and am involved in many different social circles but there is something to be said for the economic argument of many young people heading elsewhere for jobs. Also, I'm kind of over dating jobless fellas exclusively. At least in theory.
C-freak, I think you mean she teaches at a college as it is rare for a university to hire someone to teach who only has a master's, but that is just my assumption based on generalities. I would also like to know her name, as I would like to invite her to our women in academia meetings. Many of the women there also complain about what Is was talking about and I think she could offer a unique perspective. Also, wouldn't you rather be alone than with someone whom you did not respect? I do not think that anyone should lower their standards just to be with anyone, I waited.
Sorry to take an off-topic swerve here, folks, but I'd like to make a clarification for HE: And of course of course, in a creative field such as writing or the visual or performing arts, the Masters of Fine Arts is a terminal degree, on par with a Ph. And of course of course of course the University is made up of many "colleges" and "schools": Hope that opens up the dating field for you! Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.
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Knowing a lot of people is kind of a curse. This a really funny post: Look at all the single ladies wanting dates, Single guys should be all over this post getting names and numbers.
Haha, this is pretty funny but you have to take the opportunities as they come, right? If any women are interested in a man working through his masters lookin at you, Is shoot me an email and we can get to know one another. Flattered Jill, but now that I'm over the hill at 33, and my Johnson isn't what it used to be, I'm purely a man of intellect. Plus, the Mothership will be picking me up in a few days to reunite me with Jimi Hendrix, so I don't have much more time for earthly concerns, or those snotty Masters chicks who watch too much Sex and the City no offense if you are one.
I'm surprised no one's yet made the women's field guide version of Bob's post. Way to go TypeSend! Wow Frank, only 33, already over the hill? Is here any point to discussing the dating "scene" for a straight woman over 60 with "young" and interesting sensibilities??? I meet lots of very nice lesbians!
Ruby When I read your kind words, I almost shat myself to tears.
Nothing I try seems to work. My hormone replacement therapy has failed, this steak and ice cream diet is backfiring miserably. My therapist, Doctor VanDounkersgoud, tells me I am beyond redemption both physically and spiritually, in spite of my prompt payments, and so I must accept her prognosis. She's a great listener, but now I've grown tired of her too, and the people I bought her from won't take her back, or refund my money!
I am at my wit's end. Thank you for your concern though on behalf of all 30 something Duluth men, I doubt they are ailin for Palin like I am, if it is any comfort. The dating situation is terrible in Duluth if you have anything even resembling standards. To those who are saying people just need to get out more, they don't know what they are talking about.
All you meet their are friends not dating relationships. Basically, if you moved up here, get used to being alone for a long while. Further, I really don't think that more jobs would help much considering the poor dating pool that already exists. The people leaving weren't much better than the people staying.
Well, it looks like I'm over a year late to the party. But, as they say, better late than never. Seeing as how so much time has passed since this thread began, I'd just like to start by saying that I hope everyone who was searching has now found that special someone. I should also preface my comments by warning you that I am not a Duluthian, nor am I even a Minnesotan although I did live in Saint Paul for a while.
I actually live in Fargo, ND. Wait, wait, before you cry blasphemy, I do have extensive knowledge of Duluth.
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Both my parents were born in Duluth, most of my family still lives in Duluth, and I have been visiting Duluth regularly since the mid s. So I am not speaking completely out of school here. I'd be curious to know the age ranges of the people who use this forum. Not that it matters in the context of this conversation, just that I'm curious as I might be moving to Duluth within the year and have found this site a wonderful resource thus far.
I'll be 30 in September and I am just curious if I fit the age demographic of PDD frequenters, or if I'd be better served looking for something "more my age.
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No matter where you are. If you are lady Dating is hard everywhere. Finding you niche is hard everywhere. It takes time and it takes effort. I'm not suggesting that anyone above is unwilling to do those things, just stating a fact. Although for some, being in a new place might afford you the confidence to step out of your shell more than you might have in a hometown where everyone already knows you. But that's the extent of it. Sign up today to browse the FREE personal ads of available Minnesota singles, and hook up online using our completely free Duluth online dating service!
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