It is very frustrating, but there is absolutely nothing you will do to change this situation. Many guys who have been living in Medellin for a while actually set up multiple dates on the same day knowing that most of the girls will flake out. Just the other day I had a Paisa girl say she would meet me at 10pm and she showed up at Moral of the story — She showed up. Part 2 was written one year later and offers a different perspective after being more experienced and understanding paisa culture better.
This is a very interesting blog. I have a stupid question. I was born in Kenya and grew up in America. Wil — Great question. I am actually writing an entire post about the race and dating issue in Colombia. The concise answer is that White males do far better than Black males.
I am not just speaking about my one experience and opinion. I ask every black guy I see here and they say the same thing. Their white friends do wayyyyy better. The thing is that there are Black Colombians, and they are not really on the same socio-economic level as the Colombians with spanish ancestry. With that being said, black foreigners have more luck than black Colombians because they are foreigners. No other reason in my opinion. I like the way you are honest about Colombian women but you still keep it respectful towards their culture.
Having created a guide on Spanish for Latina Lovers, agree with your point that the more Spanish you know, the better. However, if you are too fluent then you will just like the local guys she is used to. So learn enough to make her laugh and have dates. Thanks for your comment. It is funny that sometimes I have to tone down my Spanish. You soon realize that sloppy spanish works more to your advantage because they think that they can teach you. I see guys go onto the dancefloor and make complete fools of themselves but the girls love it.
They want to teach. Thank You for such a detail info…. I really appreciate your efforts. I am planning to come to Colombia by end of this month. Will be there for 2 weeks. Will surely look for a girl to spend a quality time. But is it possible to get a girl in such a short time??? I dedicate at least 4 hours a day to street approaching. The yield is typically to 3 number closes, with one f-close a week.
I am 60 this year, and I love the fact that I can pull 20 somethings or even twenty nothings! If anyone is interested in joining me for some intensive day game , then please shout out;-. Simple Guys, Anyone goes to a foreign country for finding women thinking it is easy and readily available without any inhibitstions right? If we need to look good, young, white , handsome, dance good, speak good, smell good and etc etc. So in your country you can be target for many hot girls… so.
Learning to dance, speak well, and dress well, be more well-read can only help. However, things change depending on country and culture. But then again, what if more women find you more attractive in a foreign country? I think that everyone wants to feel attractive and wanted — so why not vacation in a place where you can feel more confident. I will be in Medellin for 3 weeks starting on Jan 10th. Are there any particular places you could recommend to meet women or are there any events you are aware of that are going on in Jan ?
Your email address will not be published. Personalized Colombia Tours — Palenque-Tours. Meeting women in Medellin could be a lot easier than you think. Managing Your Relationship — Messaging, Calling and Unreliability So you managed to get her talking and laughing, but now you probably want to get her phone number so you can arrange a date. Wil on February 27, at 1: Hi Joel, This is a very interesting blog. Joel Duncan on August 12, at 3: You just motivated me to get that post finished. El Conquistador on April 5, at 1: Great article, I like the way you are honest about Colombian women but you still keep it respectful towards their culture.
Joel Duncan on August 12, at 5: Samir on April 16, at 2: Josh on June 15, at 4: If anyone is interested in joining me for some intensive day game , then please shout out;- Reply. Dana Burke on March 31, at 4: Prince on May 12, at 5: Joel Duncan on May 12, at 5: Mike on December 26, at Also regarding the phone….. Very good tips, some of the best talent in the world can be found here that is for sure Reply. Yes Mike, you are correct there are ignorant, racist people all over the world, including Medellin…as you have proved.
However, Rick, I do have a few friends that are Indian that have managed to make lots of friends and actually run businesses and lead a successful life here in Medellin: Sidhartha, owner of the restaurant Curry https: People in Medellin are very friendly and are generally accepting of foreigners in their city. They are just not usually interested on gringos, which is why they are not easily found by foreigners.
Just to give you an example, there is about 3, registered hair salons and beauty supply shops in Medellin, and most of them are owned by women. Thanks for the comment. What kind of scare tactic is this? Yes there are bad people here, but crime occurs everywhere in the world. Ah that really sucks. My friends and I all entrepreneurs have been living here for over 6 years now. Not one has had that happened to them.
I love this blog brother Andrew! I live in the magical city of Orlando, Florida. I will be going to get my Celta certification in Medellin in January I love Colombian women! My guys and I travel frequently to Colombia to relax and vacation. We are all a bunch of crazy Americans! You seemed to really like her a lot bro. I think it is pitiful that you cannot write something less shallow about such a beautiful, vibrant city than how to pick up Medellin women!
Everyone knows the women there are beautiful and easy to meet and date. And that they love foreigners, even though you are Colombian. How about the gastronomy, culture, events, music?? THAT would be much more helpful to those who want to experience Medellin. To go there looking for women is pathetic and gives US men a really bad name — kind of like the incident with the Secret Service in Cartagena. I have written about all of those topics.
If you look through my blog all of those topics are covered, even history my associates and I are tour guides here in Medellin , but this is the topic that gets the most attention. I think my post is probably one of the least offensive and paints the Medellin woman in a positive light. I think it paints them as easy pick-ups. Maybe most of your readers are men if this topic gets the most attention. I completely respect your opinion and value your input. The topic of dating in Medellin? The fact that I prefer women who are professional?
Thanks again for your comment. Dear Linda, It is very easy to safe yourself a peace of mind. Just do not read, and of course, do not judge things you are opposing naturally.
Online Dating in Medellín | Date men or women in Medellín, Colombia | Badoo
America women say they got HIT On. In Colombia they call it meeting someone. This might be why Americans talk about it…cause the women are not like you, and a lot of other American uptight women. They like attention so much and when they see other women especially cute women who are not fake like them nor have this man like attitude like them getting all the attention they get pissed off and nitpick every little thing out of frustration. If that is how you feel then more power to you. Life is about living the way you feel is right for you..
Problem with men is that they become too attached to the female specimen.. Yes Daniel, email it over to me. First i would like to say that it is a great issue to write about. I gor to tell you the truth, when i read this post i got the feeling you would like to talk about your self a lil too much. And i, as someone that also live in medellin, i dont think the things are as you describe. The avarage girls will expect you to pay for everything, spescialy the texi. The kind of girls are you describe are exsisted, and i know them as well, but they are not common. The high quality girls wouldnt be that fascinated from the gringos.
Normaly the low level will. Try to write less about your stories and to bring more facts that connected to reality. Hi Another Anonymous, thanks for the constructive criticism. I will work on getting more actual facts. I rather speak about my own experiences, but I guess you are right; when writing about delicate issues like gender and relationships one should have some stats.
I date 50 to 60 YO or so. Often they find me as fascinating as I find them. It is often a great experience. I am Spanish tutor for foreigners in case someone is interested.. Thanks Andrew this is my contact info: Women who like a man who is not nice need a psychologist. Live and learn and is this not why so many Colombian women think the men are all cheaters and then seek foreign men? Live and learn or error again? I ve been following your posts lately. I am too glad that a foreigner people as you write such a beutiful things about our city. Espero que no haya cometido muchos errores.
Hi Jhon, thanks a lot. I look forward to meeting you at our next Conversation Club Cocktail Party. I have been reading your posts and I am happy to see an honest approach to life there and to hear such a positive outlook on life there with your personal experiences. I definitely have a interest in visiting Medellin soon and exploring life and business there.
Hi Stacey, thanks for the positive feedback. Medellin is a great place to be, but then again a positive mind can make any place a great place. You gotta come see it to make it your own. I hope to meet you when you get down here. I am totally interested in living in a city outside the US that will allow me more for my money and is friendly to Americans just looking to integrate into their lifestyle and culture. Not being discriminated against for being 60 is also important.
I am healthy fit and handsome. Is Medellin worth giving a shot. I love the idea of teaching English. I taught high school for a few years. Thanks for any and all responses. Medellin should definitely be on your list of cities to consider. In regards to ageism in the dating world here. There is, however, ageism for work here. It is very rare to see anyone over 40 years old working.
Since you were a teacher you could perhaps work at a university, but you have a fair warning. BTW being a blue-eyed white guy works to your advantage here.
- How I Meet Women in Medellin.
- My 5 Year Experience Dating Colombian Women in Medellin - (07/10/18)?
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Encouraging words and nice to hear. I know some rudimentary Spanish that I would love to build on. Given any opportunity I think I can handle the dating scene. Thank you very much for sharing your experiences without advertising for some dating site or other. It makes you much more credible.
And holding on to her if she happens to be attractive? Hi Hans, Thanks for the comment. I write based on my experience and my personality. Alpha males are not all that Medellin women look for. Medellin has all types of women, so finding yourself a woman with the qualities you like is possible. I encourage you to come and test the waters. If you do visit Medellin make sure that you come for at least a month or two because most respectable women take a while to warm up to. There are so many things to do and see here.
Thank you for the awesome post. I heard k-pop is huge in Medellin or in Colombia in general. He told me a lot of young college aged Colombian girls would come up to you and ask to take pictures with them and etc. I have plans on visiting many countries in and Colombia is one of the country I will visit for sure!!
I love food so food adventure will be the number one priority to venture Colombia but not alone. I also have interest on meeting a local beautiful Colombian woman, not prostitutes, and find some romance at the same time too. Will I have a chance to do so?? Yo MKO, the short answer is yes, you have a chance at finding romance in Colombia. I teach English and there is always a couple of students who love K-Pop or Korean soaps. I just wanted to say it!!! I admire you alot… my best wishes love u. You have definitely been one of my best students.
It was fun being your teacher. Yeah Medellin is great. The only thing missing is the beach, I used to live in Huntington Beach. Just to keep with the theme of your blog. Im a blue eyed Scotsman, is it worth my while bringing my kilt or is that trying too hard with the local ladies? Being certified and having worked for the ScotsMan. I think the key would be for you to get into a good paying position. I recommend living in a lower income level yet safe neighborhood first, once you get your bearings and cashflow up you can get into some of the more expensive neightborhoods.
Go for it, Michael. They will love the kilt. I am going to Colombia within the next year and am really looking forward to it. Vaya con suerte Go with luck Jimmy. So the questions should be: The best place to meet girls in Medellin…is…well…anywhere. The supermarket, the library, the metro, at a bar, dancing, etc. Andrew ,this is the best blog I have had the pleasure to read. I met a Medellin girl on a dating website. She invited down to Medellin Colombia. I speak Spanish ,I would say as a second language. Here is my story. We were shuttled off to a Hotel that my girlfriend picked out.
I had no inpout in this choice. It was not in Poblado, for some reason we ended up on Carretera Wall to wall little discos that are blasting music all night. I had to stay in Medellin for a month. So I was stuck down by the metro near the stadium stop on Carrera I was told to take off my gold chain, gold watch, anything Gold, the Police roll in late or early in the morning in a military vehicle like all together.
To be honest with you Andrew I felt there was an unverbalized thing going on that you are not where you should be. I needed a guard from the Hotel to get monies from the cajero ATM. Plus, of course my girlfriend shows me a video of Colombian soldiers in a military jeep all shot through the head. Your right about the jealousy, anyway, after they filled me with horror stories about being kidnapped, murdered or worse during the Pablo Escobar period.
I was totally paranoid about even buying a beer solo at night. Maybe they just psyched me out. I never did get to Poblado or any other nice area, only the malls. What is your opinion of that area down by Carrera Andrew is it as dangerous as I perceived or am I just paronoid form my perception. I never heard the word drugs, nor did I ask about the mafia. But upon arrival back in Miami the Border patrol agents took me into a room and gave me a complete search and investigation of what the hell I was doing in Medellin. I had to go and call them and they gave me the third degree.
W Why I was sending money to Medellin. To whom I was sending it. What I was doing in Medellin. I know the story. Miami was the money laundering capital during the Pablo Escobar era, but this is like 20 years ago. Anyway, they refused to release the monies in Colombia after an hour of investigation. What a total disgrace. If I had to do it over again , I would have went straight to Poblado and payed for a hotel.
I just think I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but I have a beautiful fiance. Thanks for your time Andrew. The neighborhood you were in is called Estadio it boarders the Laureles, Floresta, and Belen neighborhoods. Which are all decent neighborhoods. I lived in Floresta Carrera 80 just a few blocks up. And I have a friend who owns the best Hostel in Medellin right there on la 70 about 6 blocks from the stadium, you might consider staying in one of the private rooms there next time The Wandering Paisa Hostel.
My own family tried to do it to me when I got here. Filled me with horror stories about foreigners getting mugged in plain daylight, getting taken on la vuelta millionaria where they take you at gun point to different ATMs and make you withdraw money, etc. So yes your fiance and her friends were being way too over protective and scared you, that area by the stadium is fine, especially la 70 at night. The whole thing about traveling is that you have to be more on guard than you do in your own town in the U. She can buy a brand new AKT scooter not cheap for that price: I read your article and I really enjoyed it and I got great information from it.
Is there any truth to that and what can I do? I suggest you pose the question on an expat group in Facebook: Hostels are relatively cheap here in Medellin. A couple of my favorites are: Check em out Wandering Paisa Hostel. If you want to be in the Poblado neighborhood, where most tourists are. You might get tired of the dorm life at the hostels. If so, you might want to check out some rooms for rent on Couch Surfing or on the many Facebook Groups.
- A Basic Guide to Meeting Women in Medellin Colombia - Part 1.
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You could get a job and you could get a work visa. It depends on what your credentials are and what the job is. I have many friends who are here on work visas, so it is possible, but not easy. If I were you, I would start looking into that now, not when you get here. Spanish is pretty critical here. Most of the population here does not speak English at all. Anyway, to answer your questions: The great thing about Colombian women is that there is not just one type of guy that they like. Carrying a bank card is fine. What a great article and blog. Thanks for the amazing insight.
Just had a couple of questions. I will be visiting Medellin with 3 other Puerto Rican friends in November. We will be staying at am apartment we rented in El Poblado. What recommendations do you have in regards to restaurants, bars, clubs to go to. Also, what safety issues should we keep in mind while in the area. Hey Jaime, thanks for the comment. I actually wrote a nightlife post that you might find helpful: Are there any christian churches such as Pentecostal and Baptist churches in Middellin?
Just reading these comments and how you respond to them especially negative ones gives me a good sense of the kind of person you are. Your students must feel very lucky to have you. Hi Caleb, thank you for your kind words and invitation. I most definitely will make my way to Japan, awesome to know someone over there. Andrew- Soy Miguel se Seattle. I just returned from Medellin and Quilla for carnival and found the women in Colombia difficult to deal with or interact unless handled them with kid gloves.
Can you hit me up? Gracias hermano, Miguel Aguilar Seattle Firefighter. Hola Miguel, yes, for the most part women way more feminine than those in the U. Which is why I love them. I have, however, used ColombiaCupid. Feel free to add me on Facebook. I tried to send you an e-mail message on your e-mail address that you indicated in this blog, but it bounced back stating that Google tried to deliver your message, but it was rejected. I had some questions that I wanted to ask you via e-mail only, but the e-mail message was not delivered to the e-mail address that you indicated in the blog.
The e-mail address that I used to send the e-mail message to you was: I tried Colombian cupid. A dating expert told me,that only the average Colombian women use the site. And the top most beautiful women did not. Recently I met a women,from Medellin. I enjoy spending time with her.
She recently had breast implants. Is that common in Medellin? She seems to be so concern about her body. I never met a women in USA,so concern about that. A few weeks ago,I found out that shes a cam girl model in Colombia. That really got me upset. A lot of perverts try to contact her. Being that you live in Medellin. Do you know women who work as cam girls? Cause this women,seems like a great person.
Is just the cam thing,that bothers me. Even though she assure me,its only to pay for her studies. Not even her mom knows about it. Is this usual in Medellin? It bothers me,that all the perverts bother her all the time. Theres a lot of guys,interested in her. Shes use to being told how beautiful she is. But besides this,me cae bien. And know the way of life there. Should I keep seeing her? Hi Phil, thanks for the comment. Let me answer your questions to the best of my abilities: Not all Colombian women are on Colombian Cupid there are more than 20 million women in Colombia, therefore, not all are on there…or have even heard of the site.
Plastic surgery in Colombia is low cost in comparison to the US and other countries and the level of quality can be very good, hence, Colombia being a leader in plastic surgery and at the top of plastic surgery patients. Both men and women get stuff done here, so, yes, breast implants are common. Yes I know a couple girls that are CAM girls. And yes, they do it for the money.
They earn great money because they get paid in foreign currency. My advice about seeing this girl…keep her as a friend. If you were living here in Medellin that would be different. Thank you,I really appreciated. It would be great to live there,if I can find a decent job. I need to see what kind of Visa is require. So I can know everything I need to know about the city. Thank you very much.
Any tips for a solo female traveler? Other than the things you would watch out for in any city, is there anything else to be aware of? The media often portrays Colombia as extremely dangerous for females—not being able to walk out into the street alone during the day, people robbing you at knifepoint, etc. Hello Andrew…many thanks for a very informative blog. Muchas gracias mi hermano…take care… David. Thank you for the insightful information you have provided about your life experiences living in Medellin. Can you give input on living in other cities in Colombia?
I have heard about some other cities in Colombia, that I would like to visit and spend time. Bogota the capital, obviously , Villavicencio, Cali, and Bucaramanga. I was thinking of coming to Colombia to live for a bit or longer in the near future. Jobwise, I would look to do a computer job and teach English. Any input, dating and otherwise, would be greatly appreciated. I currently live in Miami, Florida and was raised here. Thank you in advance. Xavier, I lived in Bogota for 6 months 5 years ago and it was great. Loads of things to do, restaurants, bars, nightlife, etc.
Andrew, just wanted to complement you for your blog. I just returned from Medellin last night. For years I heard about the women in Medellin so I finally decided to go and see what was all the fuss about. Let me tell you!! We are from Southern California, we both speak Spanish so that was very helpful. The women and the people in Medellin are very social and very helpful. The beauty of their women was beyond my expectation. I have been to approximately 25 countries around the world but the GDP of beautiful women per capita in Medellin is off the chart.
By talking to women I met I was able to tell that they are very open minded and things are a little bit different than in the US. I am writing about my own experience and these are my personal opinions. Though, I will have to better discribe them their butts as badankadonks. My advise to anyone going there with the intent to meet women there for a relationship, friendship or dating is to do the work before getting there.
Get on a dating site to talk and meet people so that you are set once you get there. Establish friendship before getting there to maximize your opportunities!! For women plastic surgery is more important than getting a car or a motorcycle. Because they want to be attractive for their men. There are more women than men. You can get around the city with Uber it works great. You can get money from most ATMs make sure you let your bank know about it before you go. Bring a buddy all girls will set you up with their friends and you can share the hotel cost. Yes most foreigners are welcome, they are very curious to meet people from other countries even other Latin countries.
Be safe, be courteous, and have fun. Therefore, I wanted to ask you, if you know some people who did wwoofing and maybe know some, who actually need some help somewhere in Medellin or anywhere else in Colombia? Plus, do you have any recommandations, like places to visit, restaurants in Medellin, Street arts, music festivals and more? I really want to feel and be part of that culture! Hi Anthony, thanks for the comment. So you might want to plan you trip around festivals. Yeah, your blog is always entertaining and interesting to read and then revisit at times… I travel quite often, working in Afghanistan with lots of time off in between tours but I have yet to travel through south America.
Plan on visiting for the first time, maybe AirBnB a week here n there, for a total of a month or so to start this july … Medellin, cali, etc. My buddy from argentina says I look argentine but should get that gringo effect you mentioned with my gringo look with longer dark hair, obvious American accent. Dunno what im gonna do for shoes yet but im sure some pants like you have and some V-necks and I should be ok. What about the other way around? Are Colombian guys as interested in American girls as Colombian girls are in American guys? Will being American work to my advantage or will it just make me stand out?
Hi Nicole, thanks for the comment.
My Unique Perspective on Dating Medellin Women
I have quite a few white, girl friends here. From the US and Europe and all of them have great luck here. They are seen as exotic…and sexy by guys here. Even the not so attractive ones get play. Just for their blond hair and white skin. She wrote a pretty good guest blog post about her experience here: This is her site: Here are a couple other great posts: It seems you are still paying attention to this blog of yours and I take the opportunity to ventilate my roller-coaster feelings after writing a Colombian girl via hotmail.
Normally I am a quite suspicious person and I give notice to inconsistencies in a story that leads me to believe that bogus is going on. Maybe I can believe this girl or she is a master to deceive me and trick money out of me. So far what she tells me about herself is possible. Some questions about financial support are reasonable.
I met her as a camgirl, yes I know, red alert, but wait. We came to talk a lot with each other in pvt, she was fully dressed all the time but she did a good show for me some days earlier. She told me she felt dirty, used and disgusted to be there and her mother disliked it. She is 24 years and lives with her parents. Many Colombian girls are doing that, she said.
Yes, that seems to be true, many write that in their bios. She wanted to quit the site within the next two days, it was pure coincidence I was there before she checked out. I never thought she would write. We have exchanged about 25 mails each since. She sent non-nude photos of herself to prove that she was the one I saw on the cam site. I offered her to learn English if I pay her, asked her to find an institute and show me the costs.
When I recently got angry at her for asking for money, she pointed out to me that I was the one offering her to go to English classes, not her. She is right about that. She showed me an institute and it was about 85 dollars a month. Already during the webcam chat she mentioned her father was diagnosed with cancer and the medication and the treatment was very expensive. She did not expressively ask for money, but it was a difficult financial situation. Then her father got a heart attack. She made selfies with herself in the intensive care station with a man in the bed behind.
She needs to go to an internet cafe all the time, we would be able to be so much closer if I bought a computer for her — okay, I have heard this story many times. She sent a picture of what she wanted, dollars, I said the computers I buy here are maybe dollars and are perfectly okay for internet and chatting.
Meet new people in Medellín
I never bought that computer. I will never do that. She does not insist, but now and then returns to the fact that it would be so much easier to chat. I have agreed to send her dollars every month to finance the English class and give some extra, two payments so far.
Recently she wrote about all the trouble she goes through at home with fighting parents, her siblings want her to pay everything for her parents as she is the child living at home. She cannot stand the unrest and will rent a small room somewhere else. That will increase her spending and my monthly support will not be sufficient for English class and an own living. Okay, could be true. To be able to send her money by bank wire the Colombian bank required her personal data, full name, birth date and address.
She hesitated for several mails to give it to me. She said I could spread pictures of her from her webcam period, send them to the address, and her life would be destroyed for ever. No employer would employ a person with nude pictures spread all around over the net. I found some of her on the net, by her webcam alias name, which is the same she uses for hotmail, I did not spread them.
I got her full name, full address and birth date, and she received the money. Because of the huge fees she wants me to use Western Union next time. She writes long mails, up to 4 pages, run through a translator. She has looked up info regarding my country, read about the history, the culture, looked at fotos, commented on it as any girl who wants to learn about a new country. She never talks about partying, discos, clubs, dancing, evening with friends, etc. I feel some kind of love for her. The love an older single Western guy will feel for a much younger poor girl from a poorer country.
I tried to arrange to see her. But the air fares are too high. She has not really asked for money to see me.
My 5 Year Experience Dating Colombian Women in Medellin – (07/10/18)
I have tried to go myself, but it will not be possible. We agreed she needs to learn English first. I wrote her a really angry mail the other day, bringing up all I heard about cheating, gold digging, that she claims to love me, but it is just because I send her money. I expected she would be very angry and say I could go to hell, or that she would not reply at all, I offered her to go away and leave me in peace if my accusations were true. No, she replied in a long very sad mail, that she understands me, when she puts herself in my situation she can very well understand that I suspect her to be fake, but it is not true, and if I decide to cancel the relationship she would accept it, though she would miss me.
She could have written so many other stuff that would have prevented me from going on. She said all the recent costs for her parents, her new rental room, an accident on a motor bike she sent a picture of her bruised leg , has created a situation where there is not enough money to pay her college fee end of July. She said she hated to bring up this subject again with me, as I was so against her talking about money, but she had no other person to ask.
She wrote literally that this is the last time she will be asking for money. I will remind her of it if she asks again, be sure. I understand that a girl from the Pereira area, who is very young, who seems to have high goals to get out of her miserable situation by working hard, studying hard, not meeting a Colombian guy who makes her pregnant which happened to her sisters , is interested in a Westerner European with quite other financial means, and who is much older.
She has no problems that I am much older, and I have no problems that she is much younger. There is an age difference of 30 years. I never had a relationship and she had her last one three years ago where she lost a child in the fourth month. We get along very well by mail, we share a lot of values which surprises me , she is not childish, not stupid, not a party-goer, she wants to learn to swim, dance, skate, just to get away from her fighting parents at home. We discussed a future together but we came both, not just me, to the conclusion that it is probably not possible, the language, cultural and climate barriers are too high.
We decided to go on as a bit more than friends on the mail and see what happens in the long run. She will make her exam in psychology within 2 years. Before that nothing will happen. Am I getting robbed here or not, Andrew? It can be either way. Is it possible that she is just a liar, that she is instead on another cam site, that she writes this way to many other stupid Americans or Europeans but four pages each to everyone every night?
Or is it true that she wanted the contact with me because I treated her so good already in the webcam chat room, and I was so understanding and encouraging? I understand that Colombianas look different on older men than Western girls do. That my secure financial situation and higher social status makes me attractive. And probably she has learned that Westerners have nothing against falling in love with much younger and good-looking girls from the Latina area.
All relationships include hard facts, even from girls in my own country. A poor guy cannot get a rich girl. A very ugly guy cannot get a good-looking girl even if he has a fortune up to a limit. Is it possible that she sends fake selfies of herself with a man in the hospital in the background who is not her father? Why go through so much trouble to break into a hospital and make fake pictures? If I can make her life somewhat lighter by sending a relatively small amount every month, why not? I have asked her several times not to lie to me, to tell me the truth.
Okay, you can say whatever, but the length, the complexity, her interest in me and my country, makes me unsure whether it is fake or not. Is it true everlasting love? What do you think, Andrew? I am running through nightmares certain days, and other days I feel happy that someone is writing me every night and give me a lot of passion. She has my real name and my real address but nevertheless I would feel free to break up from one day to the next — but I need to be able to point out something with makes me want to discontinue.
Can someone really be that advanced, to fake 25 mails, get the story to hold together, still being passionate about me? Is there any proof she can send to me that she is who she says? Is the name correct? Sometimes I am afraid I am a fool. Charles, thanks for sharing. But you should be careful because even though people here or anywhere in the world are genuinely nice, circumstances will make them do bad things. So the first thing I would do is ask her if she has a facebook account. Almost everyone in Colombian has one. On facebook you can see her real pictures, friends, activities, etc.
Third, you need to make a plan and set a date to come visit her. I am a bit surprised that you are so optimistic. In my desperation I wrote another blog dealing with unfaithful Colombian girls. My questions were made a blogpost during the last night, and all comments say that I am dealing with a full-time prostitute, who was so good at camming because she was already before a prostitute.
There are numerous stories that resembles mine, going to work to pay for college fees is to say that she works in a local brothel. On that site nobody is positive at all. In court I would have to confess, though, that I cannot find an obvious lie in what this girl wrote so far.
Just her previous life is against her and the numerous stories about the same procedure. If I find a lie I will cancel her immediately. So far the financial bit is bothering me and yesterday I told her I cannot support her. Still, I cannot understand why someone goes through so much effort, to write day in and day out, for so little money.
She has never explicitly asked for money until these last dollars. Still there are pros and cons. But nobody but you are really sending me optimistic comments.
I truly do hope it has gone well for you. Hello Charles and Andrew. I am in a similar situation. But there are key differences I think. She has a son from a previous relationship. I have a daughter from my previous marriage. She never asked for money directly. I have her address and also copies of her identification documents among other things.
Within a short period of time talking we both agreed to be in a Long Distance Relationship. Our status both of us on Facebook reflect this. She has asked me stay with her when I come to Colombia trying to make it happen in Andrew, sorry for not replying to you earlier. I have been on vacation and was happy not to have any computer with me. I still have contact with this girl! I cannot find anything wrong with her. I need to find proof that she is lying or giving an inconsistent story in order for me to get angry enough to close down the contact.
Everything she says is perfectly possible! We have exchanged more than 50 mails by now. I questioned her real hard about her identity. She was sad and angry with me as I never seemed to believe anything she said. She sent a copy of her Colombian id card I checked others on the net, it is no fake , she sent the id card from her university and her job. All have the same name, the photo on the id-cards correspond to the girl I saw on cam. Her name corresponds to the owner of the bank account. Therefore I know who she is, her full name, her home address, her work address, her birth date, her bank account number and she even sent me her password to access the internet bank, but I did not use it.
So she is the one she claims to be. She has asked me for money twice, last time she says it was her last request. I will bring it up if she asks again. In total USD. We still want to meet but she needs to learn English first. When we meet it will be in a neutral place, probably Spain. I am still in a state of more than friendship.
I went through mental hell after reading all stories about cheating Colombianas. I am still skeptical, I am still looking for errors. How could I abandon a nice girl who writes so compassionate and encouraging mails to me just because other Colombian camgirls have been cheaters?
I seem to mean a lot to her being nice. She helps me a lot, like no other female contact I ever had, overcoming my bad self-esteem. She teaches me to be positive, tricks to become a happier person she studies psychology, it shows. Not even my closest friends since childhood have been so helpful and understanding. And I should regard her as a hooker? There is an enormous age difference, still we talk and feel the same.
I can very well imagine that she likes an older Western guy with more money who will bring her a better social status. But so — does not every girl want that? And is not an older Western girl very pleased to have a young girlfriend who gives him status and who brings joy? I cannot break before I have a reason. I am most likely not speaking to my future wife. But I like her a lot. Hi Mark, firstly, I do have a job, well I run a business here in Medellin. Regardless, I appreciate the criticism and will work on making my tone of writing more clear. Have you ever considered making a blog post or a guide on training oneself to respond to venom with compassion?
I guess I just give people the benefit of the doubt at all times. Always assuming the best of others generally pays off in the long run. I think writing something along those lines would take a lot of a time and research. How do you handle negativity? But I find imaginative thought experiments help me to give people the benefit of the doubt. He must be distracted by something. Maybe something bad happened in his life very recently.
I hope he is OK. If I do this again and again, it begins to become second nature. But it requires vigilance and persistence, and I must admit that sometimes I let my guard down and forget, and then become irritated and react like a typical irritated person would. Both online and off. Compassion, like many qualities people incorrectly assume to be ingrained and present from birth, is a learned skill, and like any skill it requires practice practice practice to be good at it.
From reading your replies to many posters to your blog not just the one above , I can easily see that you have developed this skill. Did you develop it consciously and deliberately? Or was it gradually taught to you as you grew up? If the former, then you have a lot of valuable things to say on the subject, and I for one would love to read them; hence my suggestion. If the latter, then perhaps your parents should start writing a blog. Si, es verdad, muchos hombres de otros paises vienen a Colombia por que creen que pueden golear con las mujeres, pero la realidad es que si un hombre tiene inseguridades, no importa donde este siempre le ira mal.
En que parte de Bogota vives? Hola, gracias por la respuesta. Das clases via skype? The problem with foreigners in Colombia is they always resort to what has worked for them in the past, via instinct. Still, i do well. I use that to my advantage. Simply be somewhat groomed, confident, and willing to push your own bounderies.
I then either ask tienes whatsapp or simply pull out my own phone and type up a quick message or have a preloaded message about what are you doing today using my translator app, and then my foot is on the door for more. Btw, use tinder and especially if youre from the US and english only, state that in your profile and keep it simple. Also, I barellllllllyyyyy speak any spanish. Total time in Colombia will be from DecJan7.
I like a mix of the local fun and also some expat fun as well.