I had no comprehension of the difficult position I put her in, and I didn ' t even try to be understanding about the fact that she felt I chose Liam over her. Our mutual anger and resentment towards each other led us to start talking less and less, until we eventually just stopped talking at all. I had Liam, and I convinced myself that I was happy enough with that, but Emma had no one, and the isolated position I put her in upsets me to this day. After months of barely speaking to each other except when we were forced to, Emma and I were suddenly able to repair things.
I missed my best friend. I missed our talks and our inside jokes and our sleepovers filled with laughter.
I wrote her a long note about all our memories and how much I missed her, and both of us were able to put our anger and resentment aside and continue our friendship. She got as on board as she could with Liam and my relationship, and I tried not to rub it in her face. But here ' s the real kicker: Liam and I eventually went through a very messy breakup and stopped talking or communicating all together. It wasn ' t until we broke up that I realized what a colossal mistake I had made. Our relationship was never very healthy, and it hadn ' t lasted all that long in the grand scheme of things.
I sacrificed months of laughter and memories with my best friend and caused her a lot of hurt and pain for a boy I would never talk to again. At the end of the day, I valued my temporary feelings for Liam over my relationship with my best friend… for what? A few months of fun memories with a boy that I would end up hating?
'Can I date my ex-boyfriend's best friend?'
It was a terrible decision to make, and it didn ' t improve my life in any way, shape or form. The moral of the story is boys will come and go, but friends are forever. Your feelings for a boy will change over time and things might not work. To create a healthy relationship with the best friend, you should avoid comparisons between the best friend and your ex.
Your relationship is not a competition and the best friend has different qualities than your ex. Comparing the best friend and your ex will just lead to conflict and tension in your new relationship. Maybe he tends to plan more intimate dates at home, and your ex would go all out with an expensive dinner for date night. Rather than compare the two, focus on the positives of each approach.
Then, remind yourself that you are with the best friend because he does things differently and offers different things than your ex did. Trash talking your ex, in front of the best friend or with other friends, will only create more tension between your ex and the best friend. Your hurtful words about your ex may make your new partner upset. This could then lead to tension and conflict between the two of you. Allow the best friend to spend time with your ex.
For the sake of your new relationship, you should try to be okay with your new partner spending time with your old partner.
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Your new partner may also miss spending time with his best friend, despite the circumstances. You should encourage them to spend time together so it does not seem like you are trying to be controlling or selfish in the relationship.
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Making an effort to spend time together as a group can help to normalize the situation and allow your ex to get used to your new relationship. Be respectful of your ex's feelings at social events. If you still share mutual friends with your ex, you and your new partner will eventually end up at social events where your ex is present. When and if this happens, you should try to be respectful towards your ex's feelings and be considerate of your ex when you are around him with the best friend. This may mean not showing too much physical affection with the best friend when you are around your ex, such as holding hands, kissing, or cuddling together.
Displays of affection could make your ex uncomfortable or upset, especially if you recently broke up and are now seeing his best friend. You should also try to be inclusive of your ex, especially if your ex and his best friend are still close. This may mean including your ex in social get togethers with other friends or being okay if your ex hangs out with you and the best friend.
Over time, the situation should normalize and hopefully your ex will get used to your relationship with the best friend. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. Getting a Date Print Edit Send fan mail to authors. Did this article help you?
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Give your ex time to process the news. Be prepared for your ex to be upset and unsettled by news of your new relationship. Rather than try to get your ex to accept the news, you should give your ex time to process the situation. You may also give your ex space to process by opting out of get together with mutual friends.
Ask the best friend to give your ex-partner space. You may also talk to the best friend and recommend that you both give your ex space and time to process. Sometimes, people just need to digest emotional information and come to terms with a sensitive situation. So, over time, the best friend may be able to reach out to your ex and explain their side of the story. This may help your ex accept your new relationship and also avoid ruining the friendship between the best friend and your ex.
Accept that your ex may not be okay with the relationship. Though you may try your hardest to get your ex-partner to understand and accept your new relationship, it may not always be possible. Your ex-partner may be too upset by the relationship and have a hard time being okay with your new romance. Your ex may also be angry that their best friend became involved with someone from their past. You may need to learn to accept that having your new relationship means letting go of your relationship with your ex-partner.
Over time, your ex may come around and accept the situation. But you cannot force your ex to do this. Avoid comparing the best friend to your ex. To create a healthy relationship with the best friend, you should avoid comparisons between the best friend and your ex. Your relationship is not a competition and the best friend has different qualities than your ex. Comparing the best friend and your ex will just lead to conflict and tension in your new relationship. Maybe he tends to plan more intimate dates at home, and your ex would go all out with an expensive dinner for date night.
Rather than compare the two, focus on the positives of each approach. Then, remind yourself that you are with the best friend because he does things differently and offers different things than your ex did.