When we are together I accept all of this graciously and thank him, and I do what I can to get him opening up to me so that we can feel emotionally closer. Keep tabs on the different ways that your guy likes to invest, as all guys are different.
Then — whoops — you have a slip up. But I think I handled it in a way that allowed me to keep the power. As soon as we finished, I got up, put my clothes on, and was ready to go. He walked me out to my car, and I joked the entire way, not being emotional at all. I said goodbye, and he leaned in to kiss me. The women of the village go on a sex strike to force their husbands to negotiate for peace during the Peloponnesian War. Sex is power, and in cases where you are trying to get someone to commit, not having it is what gives you the most power of all.
I was in a LD relationship for about a year. He broke it off due to the complicated situation of being far apart and said he felt like he disappointed me too much by not being able to give more or come see me more. When we broke up I did no contact for 27 days because day 30 I was in his town for a wedding, so I broke no contact to see if he wanted to grab a coffee while I was there. We met up an had the best time ever. After I left we continued to talk every day now for a year and a half. I went to visit him again for 2 weeks and again we had an amazing time.
But still no talk of getting back together. He told me he wants to move to another state and it upset me because it shows me he will move to somewhere new but not to my area. I started no contact again 15 days ago, my question is, what would I do after? But when should I? Or how should I? But I told him I would only fly to see my bf n travel with a bf, not an ex. Then he said he understood n talked sth else. Hi Amor, thanks for your reply. He replied my msg 1 day after the msg was delivered right away but I think he intentionally replied me later.
Should I ask him directly if he wants to try again or I should continue to build rapport? And I really do not like this cos he makes things so vague. Hi Amor, I had a long distance relationship for 2years n we had 3 breakups in a year. The last break up was initiated by him 6 months ago, after 2 months I asked for my stuff back and since then he called me every day telling me he missed me a lot. But since 2 months ago I was seeing someone new n I told him about that.
Last month we got a chance to meet up but then we slept. Since then I started NC right away and for the first week he msg me for a few times n I ignored him. He knew I intentionally ignored him for sure. He is revenge type, if I ignore him once he would do it twice. My Ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago. I did no contact, he played hot an cold, tried to make me jealous and after the no c. We decided to take things slow because he is still undesicive and went on a few dates, which were nice and fun for both of us. After the last two dates which where on following days I slept with him.
We had no contact after that for two days but I saw him on Monday again because we are at the same university and he reacted like if we were back together and even kissed me in front of our friends. I told him that I am confused because I know he still does not want to get back together and it upsets me that we are just a thing when he wants us to be.
What should I do? So I did no contact for about three or four weeks. He messaged me a couple times, and I ignored him. Then he told me how much he missed me and really wanted me back. So we talked for about a week and ended up making out in his car one night. After that, he stopped being so engaging in the conversation. We hung out twice more after that, and ended up making out but not having sex. What do I do now? Me and my ex had broken up back in January in June he comntacted me and we started seeing each other as fwb.
About a month ago we stopped i initiated the NC Rule yet last Saturday he contacted me and I responded in a cold way. Im really scared I want him back but not in a fwb situation. I dont think he will ever come back since we have been in a relationship and fwb and he said he cant see a future with me. What shall I do? Hi, so my ex broke up with me 2 and a half months ago, I did NC right after the breakup but a month later a contacted him and he invited me over.
I said yes and we started casually seeing each other, but I knew he was seeing only me. I really want him back and would do anything. Should I restart NC again and risk losing him to her or keep in touch with him? I slipped up and slept with my ex a second time. He showed up at the same place my friends and I were at and my friends were leaving early. We wound up staying and decided to go somewhere else but before that he had to make a pit stop first and asked if I wanted to wait at his house a few mins while he made the pit stop.
I said yes and waited there. We headed out to see a band and came back to his house after. It felt so normal and natural. We went to bed and slept together. It was so passionate. The next morning he woke up relaxed, he made an amazing breakfast for us, hung out at his house for a while and then he said he had running around to do and he asked me what I was going to do and I said I was going home to shower and do some other things, so we got ready and and as we left he kissed me goodbye.
I asked if we can talk later and he said he would call me later. So then I messaged him bc I saw he was active on Facebook when I called. Its been 3 days. Do I text him?? I want to tell him. We broke up a month ago. I successfully completed the NC rule for 27 days before we ran into each other for the first time since the breakup.
We had a drink and went back to his house and slept together. A week went by and text him a light friendly text about something that reminded me of him. He responded right away and positively and I briefly ended the convo. I waited and text him a few days later with another light friendly text asking him if he remembered what we ate at a restaurant he especially enjoyed. He responded positively and that was the night before our second encounter. Do I contact him to tell him how I feel and i mentioned before??
Currently hes asking me to put my life on hold while he chooses between me and another woman. The question is, are you happy being the second choice and being treated like his friend with benefits? Do nc for yourself.. My ex broke up with me in February of this year. It was long distance. I agreed at first but it makes me feel terrible. He got mad at me for jokingly saying something and told me to shut up and he regretted contacting me. I was hurt by this. He said he often felt inferior and that led to a long emotional coversation. He said it made him feel terrible for writing this but that it was the truth.
What should I do if I even want to start repairing our friendship? Is it possible to even get him back after so long? I have tried NC for two weeks once, and he acted very strangely. He sent me several messages in a row and commented on my posts. I feel like if I were to do it again he would just block me. I really need help with this. I had sent a message on Snap a week before starting no contact. He also watched my story and sent me a message asking if I wanted to talk or if I needed more time.
Thank you for responding. He stated that be had given me more chances than anyone and that he was tired of getting mad at me. Or will this cause him to shut me out completely? Hi Chris, I am in a similar situation with my ex. He asked me again to meet for a movie 2 weeks after the dating, and we slept together. I felt he was using me so I told him about it and he said he never do it again…..
So, I have not done no contact at all for the past 3 months, but I started feeling like his feelings for me is disappearing as the frequency of texting from him is getting less and he has stopped to engage emotional conversations. He was very gentle as always, but he kept the line as a friend. I noticed that he has added many girls on FB approx. We simply danced, but not partying.
I said I waited for 3 months and I had enough. I refused to be friend. I was pretty upset so i also wrote good-bye. And the other choice you have is to move on.. We recently met a lot and talked a lot and even slept together once. I really think we have compatible personalities and always have fun together even as friends. We both are 22 and have been together since We used to be friends before we were a couple and have many common friends.
I moved to study abroad 2 years ago and we kept seeing each other every month or so and spent summer and Christmas holidays together. I noticed he seemed less enthusiastic about visiting me during the last year so it was mostly me visiting him. Then he told me he liked me a lot but was not in love with me anymore. If he really finds happiness with someone else I would be happy for him and I think I could also meet someone, but I also hope we still have a chance together in the future because we really fit good together and are like best friends.
Is not liking and finding someone attractive enough to fall in love? You need to create desire by having space apart. In a previous version of this article I admitted I hooked up before he committed and am now finding myself in the dreaded friend with benefits zone. He acts like the perfect boyfriend with me, but still no commitment.
I no longer know if I really am helping him to change by staying close or not. I want to be there for him, in sickness and health, like he is for me. I expected him to tell me how much he was touched, that it would make him realize what he has. No contact for 7 days. Should I follow through the whole week or talk again tomorrow? I plan on bringing my A-game that night. Is weekend enough or should I really push it without feeling bad doing so. I feel he deserves me giving him a hard time for once! Is it not obvious that I have to spell it out and answer?
But this is making me unhappy. I know he loves me deeply, but I no longer am sure that he is in love with me. It makes me feel rejected and makes me want to take my distance for real and not just to get him back or get him to change. What I mean by being ready to lose somebody, is that you have to set your standards and be clear what your deal breakers are and what things you can forgive.
I figured its best to tell my story here for advice. Alright so I was my boyfriend for over a year. We are in our late 20s and yes still live at home! Things were amazing between us until March. He grew distant and cold towards me for about a week, and then broke up with me. Since the break up I went into 25 day NC. He never contacted me. He joined a gym and sports team. Which made me feel maybe he just needed space from me because we practically lived together at his house. Anyways after the NC period I texted him on his happy birthday.
Then he ended up texting me about bumping into someone I know, and we had a nice conversation.
He even asked to go over and have sangria but I was busy. He initiated another meet up but then bailed a minute after suggesting it. I was upset about it because I was excited to see him. He ended up saying he made plans with a girl instead. I got jealous and freaked out. Asked if it was a date and who she was etc. I ended up finding out who she was.
His best friend Aaron has a girlfriend named Carly. Also, he did not mention to Aaron or any of his other friends he hung put with Amy although Amy is friends with his friends. I never met her.
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- I Hooked Up With My Ex Now What?.
I did meet up with him the next week I initiated it. Although I intended on sleeping on the couch I ended up in his bed and we slept together. I left for work the next morning and that night he invited me over with his 2 friends. One of the friends was Amy!
She was drunk and was going to walk with his other friend to sleep at their house. I offered to drive them but she was like no you stay. I stayed at my Exes, and well slept with him again. I was sober and I just felt used. He basically told me to leave the next morning even though we had the day off.
I felt good because it seemed Amy was not a threat. However, a week later last week I find out she spent 2 nights friday and Saturday so the whole weekend at his place. I ended up meeting my ex 2 days after that and sadly spent the night again. But saw evidence in his garbage that he slept with someone. My guess is obviously Amy. However he did not know that she spent Saturday night too. I saw him again this week 2 days ago , and well hooked up with him again. It was really good between us but as usual he did not cuddle me and I left the next morning.
I only see him later, and I always leave in the morning. Unlike her who seems to be allowed stay the next day. He is clearly messaging her more than me. Also, he is hiding his meet ups with Amy from his friends but tells them when he hangs out with me. I doubt he wants anything serious with her, and well I doubt he is going to parade her in front of his friends. Especially his best friend Aaron. On top of it, he lives with his mom! His mom can clearly see he is juggling the 2 of us. Should I continue seeing him and not sleep with him? This situation seems hopeless because even if I cut him off from sex he is clearly getting it from Amy.
Since my last comment, my ex invited me to a movie 2 weeks ago but he did not ask me to spend the night. It was super late at night and a relative was staying the week so maybe it was because of that? That hurt and I asked if there was an issue or problem between us. After this conversation he ignored my texts.
I was confused because he claimed we were cool. I tried days later. He knows he can get away with it too because he knows he has me wrapped around his finger. I wanted to show him this is not the case. I know it was dramatic but I needed to get his attention…. I asked him what he expected from me. This conversation happened 5 days ago. I did text him today to see if we could do something this week.
But I would like to have successful text conversation and hang outs. What do you suggest I do to raise my value in his eyes and make him want to talk and see me? I also snuck a peek at his phone quickly last time I was over and saw they message constantly super flirty, and well he stopped being flirty with me the moment she came into the picture. I have a feeling he wants to commit to Amy and is scared to tell me. It will give me a fresh start. See if he initiates and actually cares about me enough to want to see me and know whats going on in my life.
Any other suggestions to help my case when he practically has a new girlfriend? The truh is, he would likely not care or not notice if you nc because he has a new girl.. O but another event has happened. I wasnt sure what to say. But I simply said I know its ok. And I questioned why all of a sudden he is having this talk with me in the back of my mind I thought maybe he wants to commit to Amy. I did in the past because sex is great. He seemed to have more in his mind. Not knowing how to bring her up.
Guilty that he would still sleep with me even though they are clearly something. When Wednesday happened I thought we were on the road to being back together. Now Sunday night he is friend zoning me. I have no idea how to proceed. Do I even have a chance of getting him back? What can I do to help my chances?
I think you became too available.. Try to do a mini nc, like nc and then after that do a jealousy moves as well and continue to do what you started in your first nc to improve yourself. More has happened since the softball night Wednesday. I went to his place Friday after work. We made the plans at the beginning of the week. He was in a weird mood. But then never got up to do it. Ok get Sangria stuff? No not in the mood. It was not great. Life is so hard right now. Clearly he made me leave so he could have her over. Wednesday was soooo great now this. It was always pretty obvious. However, he actually invited me to his first ever softball match yesterday.
Then we went to bed. I was going to be a tease but he did not try anything. He kissed it when he got up. Why the sudden sweet affections? Plus why did you not want to have sex? I ran into my ex and we had a few too many drinks…flirtation was running rampant and he ended up kissing me…and things went a little further than they should have. Hi Chris, I have known my ex bf for 6 years.
We were together for 3 years and we broke up in After we broke up, we still kept in touch and was sleeping with each other. How should I move on from here? We care for each other and our dynamics is great. I can see that he is insecure and takes his cues from me eventhough he is 35 years old,owns his own company, very sociable and seems very confident. He has however become a fatter than he was 6 years ago.
I am not sure if that plays a part in him being insecure eventhough he acts like he doesnt care. I do know that he is getting to know women from okcupid and Tinder but many rejected him. I was also thinking of letting him know that I would only sleep with him he was in a committed relationship with me but he seems to have withdrawn a bit because of work related stress and mental torture as he would call it so I am giving him space.
I was hoping you could advise me Chris. I do want him back. I just want to know how to move on from here? He still wants me to sleep over and do things with him max twice a week no sex involved of course. I want him to be commited to me. Be more busy with your own life.. Hi, I am not giving him any benefits. We just hang out and we havent been sexual for almost 2 months. So he asked what I was up to and i told him that my friend was having a party this weekend and i accidentally invited him!
I was with my ex bf who broke up with me after things got kind of serious about 3 weeks ago and things got pretty hot and heavy. Now I am going to see him again this week and I was just wondering if it would be too much to sleep with him? Just curious as to what I should do because I have no idea what he wants.
When he first started dating me he did SOOO many romantic things and made it pretty clear he wanted me both physically and emotionally. The one thing I will say that kind of hinted he missed me was that he had kept the bottle of champagne he bought me for my birthday and it was still in his fridge, unopened.. No idea what I should do. I had sex with my boyfriend while we are broken up. Since then I was always the one initiating contact, telling him I miss him, love him, etc. He tells me he loves me too, is still in love with me, etc, but just does not want to be with me right now.
I started the NC for 30 days. What do you think about the situation, and do you think NC will be effective? I loved his kids and gave then structure and security like my daughter had! If he was to drunk to take them to school I did! Even said he was jealous that I was doing so great cause he moved back to his moms! I took him back! He was hired to help open a new restaurant and again still drinking to excess every night! Not a seeing his phone but showing up at my house at 2,3,4 am drunk! He asked me to marry him without a ring!
My family and friends hate u! Him and my mom get jnti because of him hitting me in the past and my mom hits him a few times which he said he deserved but my mom kept provoking a fight and then he ends up hitting my mom. He calls around 5: I was posers but I picked up the kids! He wrecked his car driving drunk home from the bar learlier that month hit out and ran and is still making 2 car payments cause they could not locate him fur the police report!
Ok , thanksgiving was great , had it at my house with both families , my family was my aunt and my daughter but his whole family was there! My aunt in Chicago is like my mom and she cannot stand him. She is coming to visit and I try to stand my ground with her telling her that we are working in things and that he is treating me better!
She does not wAnt him around for her visit! He freaks out tells me I let other people run my life and we break up for a week! During that time he tries to quit smoking and us taking chantix. He goes out kind night loses his phone and can not remember anything. A few dats later I get a call from a mutual friend and she tells me he showed up at another friends house freaked out on that guys girlfriend hit her and trashed their house and tipped over his friends motorcycle.
I told him he was gonna to end up cheating in me with a girl he sells a car to then he said the dealership made him sign something stating that he would not fraternize with customers! I said fine but we are fine but I will be ther for u to support u through aa ,I told him I was tired and my daughter was home and I have school and work in the morning and he left!
Yeah right this man does not plan a fuvking thing ever more than 3 days in advance! Ok so we work in things. Yeah , I was! Right , he loves attention! So he calls me in Monday mar 2 cause he wants to see me this week to talk. He asks if he can see me for my bday mar 4 th , I said fine. The next day we both took off work and spent the day together it was really nice even had a nice weekend! That mon mar 9 he was gonna come by to bring me cigs , he said if be sleeping but I told him to wake me up. I go fine stairs to lick my door and I see the cigs I text him an apology , the next day he blocks my number and is seeing a new girl!
Then callsme Friday mar 13th cause he wants to talk. I told him he could come get my house key and that he could stay the night cause he was moving that weekend. He comes to get the key but ends up storming out cause he said I was flirting with a customer. The new girl helps him move and he tags her in FB. I wait a few days and I text him to ask how the move went and who his new friend is he lies and says what new friend?
Then he calls and says he misses me and that he does not as want that girl. I had FB messages her every time he came over and we had sex so she knew what a dog and a liar he is. Why would I want him back after all of this! Ther is something wrong with me I know! My name is Mickala. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years on Feb 28, When I met him he was leaving his ex wife of 15 years 13 of those they were married. He met her scoring drugs and since he was headed to jail for a DUI she was fun to party with.
He went off to jail and she sent him a letter stating she was pregnant and there is a possibility it was his. He found out later the child was not his but loved him and adopted him. They had another child that was his and he married her the day before he went to jail again. She consummated their marriage with another man.
My Ex Boyfriend And I Still Hook Up (How Can I Get Him To Commit)
They were both meth addicts for a very long Time. He quit cause he wanted more and they attempted to save the relationship with another child and that just made it worse. My daughters dad is very successful and I would have had a life of luxury but I felt sorry for the guy I was dating and this time I wanted love! Not someone that looked good on paper or someone that could spoil me.
I thought I had found true love! The first year was good. I chalked his drinking up to mid life Chrisis cause he was approaching 40, going through a divorce and not seeing his kids to much. I know , he does not sound good but I believe in second chances and that there is good in everybody! I helped him in every way a good girlfriend should!
Threw bday parties for his kids made sure when they visited there was good and the house was clean. He did little surprises for me too. In feb of by best friend was getting married in Vegas.
EBR 018: I Hooked Up With My Ex… Now What?
My boyfriend at the time just bought a new car and said it would be great bonding if we drive and that it would be great for me to be there for my best friends wedding. Had a graft time! After the wedding dinner my friends were going out I was beat and I told him to go out I was going to bed.
I let it go! A month later was my birthday and it was Great! He wanted me to move In with my daughter and his 2 girls!
54 thoughts on “My Ex Boyfriend And I Still Hook Up (How Can I Get Him To Commit)”
He got full custody of his daughters his ex kept their son. I moved in late March. I lost my phone while we were moving and had to use his to call mine to find it. I did not like the pic of me that he had I. His phone so I started to look through pics to see if there were any better ones. I found a pic if a girl flashing her bra to him at his work.
He was promoted as GM at a local restaurant that I worked at part -time and where we met. Anyways after they closed him and employees would hang out and drink and party. He said he had no friends his age so he became friends with his employees. Many late nights if drinking and me at home worried about h getting another DUI. I was furious and just wanted to unpack and get settled. I was upset and I rolled over and went to bed. The next 3 weeks he came home only 3 or 4 nights. He stayed out one night all night and never came home or called and I was worried! I had to go to work and get the older one to school and get the younger one to his moms house.
Finally about 10 am I hear from him and he said great thinking girly! Thanks for taking care if the girls! I knew he was cheating and drinking so I moved out 3 weeks later! During those 3 weeks was one of the first times he was physical with me. I moved out and a few days later he came to his senses and begged for me to come back. I told him no! I gave in on both In the end. We moved in again in august if with all 3 of his kids and my daughter. His ex wrecked into a house with his youngest in broad daylight and had his youngest child with her.
She was cited for every substance and paraphernalia u can think of no insurance and child endangerment. He got full custody of all 3 of them. While moving in we both lost out jobs but I always have a second job to fall back on so I was good! He had to find a new job. He took a job as a gm of a high end sushi restaurant and had 2 work 6 days a week. I figured he would make an effort to be home every night since he worked so much , no , again he made friends with the staff and went out drinking every night after work. He came home every night but not until after the bar was closed. One weekend he went out to watch football.
I called him and asked when he would be home. He was upset cause I asked him and told me he does what he wants. He did not come home until the next day. I found him at his teenage daughters friends moms house. He swears he did nothing with her! Ok so for a few weeks he comes home and drinks instead of going out but then he starts going out again! Found out he had been cheating on me with his ex! I expected that in the beginning but 2 years later? I felt bad so I ran out and got them a bunch if stuff my daughter was already taken care of but u picked up where he left off!
I waited on the couch for him one night to come home. When I woke up he came in angry and dragged me around the living room and choked me for about 2 hours! His 2 older kids heard everything! The next day he says he was done and was sorry.
I was just shocked and again we had a lease. We celebrated our 2 year anniversary with an awesome night out! Trying to repair things.