Why would I ever want to give my body or love to a white man, a man who could never understand my grief or lineage? I looked for a Native man, and it was tough. Every Native man within 50 miles of me was related to me, and besides that most of them were just not into the things I loved.
Dating in India as a Foreigner: The Do’s and Don’ts
I had a big head and glasses. I ended up taking a creative writing class when I was thirty years old, going to class, not caring what I look like, completely engrossed in my work. I met someone in the midst of finding my voice on the page: I fell in love with my teacher.
He was hapless, a thinker, goofy, with a big head like mine and a ton of weird interests, but he was white. I fell in love with him. There was something about his eyes, his words, which reached right into the heart of me and made my pain and beauty feel witnessed. But he got the heart of me: He got that sometimes.
Yes, I married a white man. I understand the need to keep our blood. I feel pangs when I think of what my mother would say. All I can say is that love really did prevail. The thing people live for, after years of watching you be tortured by it. But a bit of compromise is good in any relationship I guess….
I agree with the stereotypes and it is super conservative in Udaipur, where I live so it is good to be cautious. I am in a relationship with a non-India. I have an Indian friend and he is one of the nicest guys on the planet. He knows he has no shot as he is also friends with my partner, but when I returned from a visit to the States, he brought me flowers.
He has also escorted another friend of ours all the way to Delhi by train with no expectations of getting lucky. I think he is a rare bird on the planet, not just in India. I agree with Beth, be safe, know some of the cultural differences and if you want to date in India, have fun! Nice to see your take on it Betsy. The only issues I ever dealt with is when I used to do massage people would ask me on dates after? It was just so inappropriate and happened a lot. I nearly died when I read the part about the marriage proposal via voicemail!
Never experienced this myself although when I started dating my Malayali boyfriend I remember being a bit flabbergasted at how quickly he wanted to put a label on our relationship. Thanks for writing this post, I think if more white women knew what to except and understood Indian culture better they might give more of these guys a chance. They might even find the love of their lives: I agree to a lot of things that you say here. Your experiences are also pretty interesting especially about the guy who assumed sex on first date seeing some sitcoms which is a very clueless 90s thing to do.
I agree that that Indian men need a bit more maturity when it comes to dating as the concept of romance is still culturally a bit different from an Indian point of view and there are biases. Comments and thoughts on it are definitely helpful for women traveling and dating in India. It is well written and I believe the people you have met are of mentality you have described. But it is not true for general males of India. Most of us know basics of dates and do not follow the trends of TV shows like Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives you have mentioned.
Most of the foreigner in Goa, Kasol, Rishikesh meet guys who are either drivers, hotel managers, yoga teachers or agents or friends of them who are not well educated to understand feelings of a girl and basics of a relationship. I would propose to get along with teenagers of your age like college students, corporate guy because most of these youngsters are known to the facts like Dressing modestly, pulling out a three pack of condoms on the first date.
Yes, I do agree that most of boys in India do live with their parents before marriage and usually their wife also get along in the same house. But it is because India does not have the fashion of separate house completely.
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But It is now changing since most of them are working in Delhi, Bangalore, Chennai and they buy their own house with the same logic. I have so many best friends in Goa who are Indian men. It would be false to hide the other side of what happens here. Instead of being annoyed that other Indian men do this and worrying it makes you look bad, realize that this IS happening, and people are traveling India dealing with this and try to do positive things to balance this out or help stop these things when you see them happening.
It makes me feel ashamed, but this is really a problem.
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Indian men to then to think that foreign caucasian girls are easy of course not everyone is like that. There are a lot of factors to that. Cultural difference, media, porn, etc. There would be many cultural differences that both the parties will need to get used to and understand. Not many Indian guys will date any girl for like years before getting married. The concept of dating is not that prevalent over here. So expect a marriage proposal sometime within 6 months to a year, if the guy is serious about you and sees a future together with you.
I just cant believe miss jones, to be in goa you left your nursing career? I Feel really ashamed as an Indian to read such a shameless act committed by my own countryman. Anyway, hope that no one else encounter such incidents in the future…. You talk like a saint. I know lots of things about USA and how they treat girls.
Can I show you?? Indian men and women are attractive enough and we should be that to each other. As a nation that is continuously insulted by western countries and similar states as a nation of poverty-stricken savages or an ugly group of people who want their white women, the least we can do is grow some self-respect, marry our own kind and work towards developing our own state with heads held high.
I can relate…I have some friends who are crazy about these stuffs so they just ignores Black or Brown girls over Whites,which I presume is Racism. I have some Foreign friends so I know how much is it to live in India as a Foreigner…there are some morons with their annoying behaviour and you may have already seen this across Social medias,how they are crazy about getting them but there are also nice people. Found this article because my boyfriend lives in the US is Indian, and his family is all still in India.
He is preparing to let them know I American exist, and I was just looking into what to expect. The story that a man took out 3 condoms in parking lot appears fake and over exaggerated for the following reasons. Of course it appears funny and is useful in forcing people to read further. He parked the car at a restaurant and not outside a hotel so why would he show condoms suddenly. It is almost impossible to have sex in parking lot of any Indian restaurant.
This idea has been picked directly from Hollywood movies 3. As an Indian man binge watching American shows and even my friends have been watching American shows from a long time but desperate housewives or Sex in the city are not quite popular among Indian men. So that mention also points out to the some fakeness.
Before starting the story it is good to sort out the facts right. Foreign readers who are the intended audience might believe coz they are not aware. Your first thought is to assume the woman telling this story is a liar and exaggerator… interesting! Wow, some very interesting anti — India propaganda there, as usual! I am Indian , live now in Kolkata , but was born and brought up in Berlin, Germany.
Interracial dating in SA is easiest if you are a white male- thoughts?
Berlin is an international city, and I have seen German , British , American women all do their thing, living it up. I am also aware of how often white women become victims of date-rape and gang-rape , courtesy their oh-so-civilised white boyfriends. And then ,suddenly , when you all come to India, you all become virtuous, decent , self-respecting ladies! Who do you think you are fooling? And I have also been to the United Arab Emirates, where I have seen white women tourists get into cars with complete strangers- rich sheiks by the way, in order to sell sex for money. Where was their sense of self-respect then?
We ,the intelligent, widely travelled population of India have called your bluff long ago.
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If any Indian men are reading this, my advice to you is- avoid white women like the plague. No wonder thousands of Americans who want to have a decent family come to south-east Asia to find brides! They have had enough of your double standards too.
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A tbousand apoplogies for the vile garbage in the above comment that was made in my name by an arsehole who was using my computer! Delete this piece of trash immediately-you are so right about Indians. I am very sorry for the hurt caused by this extreme racist bullshit this motherfucker spewed out from MY computer. Once again, extremely sorry for the hurt this caused.
My comment below will tell you how I really feel about your topic. I was shocked when I came back to India to see how western women are treated. Never about girlfriends or whether they are married or not. This immediately signals disinterest in matters of romance or sex. If he becomes uncomfortable, you know what he really wants.
These three initial tests usually give a good idea of who you are dealing with. Guys who react very positively to this approach make for good friends you can really hang out with and count on. In that case, good luck. But, sad to say , so many of the white women I have met have had horrible tales to tell. Willing to Make Sacrifices: A good marriage will be needing all the way up most of your time.
If you love your task and cannot find yourself sustaining a internal life on the career-driven existence it is actually really do not to enter into marriage yet. Query like "will I marry and sacrifice my career to get a marital life life" need a respectable option. You can answer yes any time asked having said that, you have to make sure that you answered it to be honest in any other case you will purely be lying to yourself.
It is not easy to develop a profession and if you are not likely very happy quit in that case it's do not to generate wed prior to you have become prepared to gain that. Insights On Significant Aspects In https: It happens with Indian girls too most of the times. I blame Western Media for portraying White Women as easy! Also I know White women tend to racially profile Indian men or any non white men!
They just want to date an Indian guy if they ever want to date one to experience culture! From the beginning they have made their mind to not go into serious relationship with the Indian Guy and use the companionship as just sort of exploring culture and not the person! The girl and the guy date or get to know each other for the first few months before committing to each others lives and families and getting married.