Just my opinion of course. These should be discerned early in the game, so people can go their separate ways pretty quickly and not languish in indecision.
Having children is probably the biggest deal breaker. He doesn't want more.
10 Reasons Why Women Should Date Men In Their 50s
I had my kids at age 34 and More and more women are having kids in their 30's. I will tell you this, I have a bit less energy available, to chase my kids around, at age 43, than I did back when I was If I could do it over, I might have had my kids a few years earlier. But I had some technical difficulties in my early 30's, including cancer, so that wasn't an option. Ok here's the deal. The reason you have fallen for this guy is because you spent time with him and got to know him.
This happens alot to people, especially women. If you had spent time with a single, kid free, but eventually wanting kids 33 year old guy via volunteering, you'd be getting to know that 33 year old single cool fun interesting sweet guy and finding him to be pretty awesome. You have been spending your time with someone who is not a candidate for you to date. That needs to stop. You need to explore other avenues of volunteering or dating or meetups or whatever, to meet guys in your age range that could be possible dating prospects for you.
I am very glad you are enjoying being single, that's awesome, and very important. But all things being equal, if you are going to spend time with someone of the opposite gender, try to let it be someone you could eventually date and have a long term relationship with. Because, the thing about spending time with someone is, women tend to fall for the guy. It's called Oxytocin, its a chemical released in the brain that causes women to bond to men and babies. Google it, it's legit. I have read alot about it here on Love Shack, and elsewhere.
Hormones and chemicals in the brain can make us very confused, and fall for someone that logically, we know is just a waste of time for us. And then once you become attached, it hurts to let go, and you end up spending years with this person who wasn't a good fit for you. I did that for 16 years in a marriage with my ex-husband. Don't fall into that trap with this guy.
He is probably a great guy. But, he's too old for you, and doesn't want kids. Plus, he has 3 kids already, and you would have to deal with them and his ex-wife.
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Odds are, a huge pain in the ass in the long run. Game over, stop now with this guy. Invest you time volunteering and doing other things, with the thought in mind of meeting guys close to your age, who are cool and pleasant to be around. Friendships, and attraction, take time to cultivate. Find a good person to start with, and then get to know them. Have dealbreakers, and boundaries in mind. And don't be afraid to walk away. It might hurt at first, but the pain subsides with time and distracting yourself with other activities.
I hope my advice helps you in some way. All the best to you dear!! I totally forgot to mention the height thing. You don't need to apologize to anyone for having physical preferences. Let me say that again.
It's called being human, and you like what you like. It does not make you shallow! To hell with anyone who thinks you are shallow. They can go kick rocks. Trying to find that perfect package in a man is not always easy, however. You may need to prioritize what it is that is most important to you. And as always, what's on the inside of a person, is truly the most important of all.
50 year old guy, 30 year old girl - ajypeges.tk Community Forums
But physical features can't be discounted either, physical attraction is part of the equation, that's just how it is, and it's all good. Last edited by Forever Learning; 16th November at 9: You're very independent and maybe this man represents the occasional opportunity to step away from that role and put the heavy stuff on someone else's shoulders, even if it's only for a couple of hours. I don't think you need to over-analyze why you are attracted to him, or whether the age gap is too much.
You may want children. I would just stay friends with him. Avoid letting him put his hand on your back. Insist on paying for yourself. Don't flirt or give any signals that you may be interested in more than friendship. If he does ask you out, just tell him that although you do find him attractive, you want a family, so your lives are incompatible. Sounds too old too me. And not really what you are looking for. Quick update - 12 months later we're still together and both very happy.
My parents are 20 years apart and have been married for So it certainly can work out. It is a bit worrying that when you're 60, he will be 80, though.
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With such a large gap the younger spouse tends to become full time carer later in life. All times are GMT The time now is 4: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice.
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Add Thread to del. Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on! Page 1 of 3. But, as men age and mature, so do their wants and needs. What year-old men want in bed is significantly different than what men in their 20s or 30s want. So, do you want to know how to really please a man in his 50s in between the sheets? Here are seven things men in mid-life are looking for sexually:. A lover who is confident in bed. Men appreciate a woman who understands her own sexuality and for good reason.
A lover who can communicate in bed. We know that communication is key in all types of relationships. Van Kirk adds that, most men in their 50s have had enough partners that they know not every trick works for every woman. A lover who is spontaneous.
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Surprises are the way to go with men in their 50s. That goes for sex, too. After having sex for 30 years, men in their 50s can get bored with the same old every night. The experts advise mixing up sexual positions, locations, and even the time of the day you do it. A lover he knows he can satisfy.
In other words, when he knows his woman is satisfied, it makes him feel powerful and competent in bed. He wants to please you and takes great pleasure in making sure that happens, whether it comes from intercourse, touching, or cuddling.