Get A Commitment Without Conflict. So how exactly do you tell about your past?
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You took control over something in your life. Blanchfield—who recently changed the name of her blog to The Preppy Runner —has adopted this new approach. If you have to come up with a number, the fifth date is the best time for the big reveal, says Tanner. Perhaps a better indication of the right time to tell, though, is when you feel ready. Ilyssa Israel, 39, an executive assistant from Springfield, NJ, felt so comfortable with one man that she told him on the second date that she had lost nearly pounds after undergoing gastric bypass surgery—and had gotten additional surgery to remove the excess skin.
Be prepared for some to be shallow or superficial, adds Eckel.
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But know that sometimes, people surprise you. What might be a thing of beauty to one person might not be even attractive to another. And when you are talking about the laws of attraction, we all know that they differ greatly. When I was doing the online dating route, so was a good friend of mine. We are much different. I was brunette, a little larger framed, muscular, etc and she is tiny, blonde, petite.
I actually got more responses and messages and I believe that a lot of it was due to the ad itself. Try looking at the online dating as a "getting to know you session". She was interested in a relationship but nothing else, let first impressions rule her mind, etc and she was quite abrupt with her ad. I wanted to meet new people, and get to know "friends" as much as I wanted someone special in my life. That being said, I know people of all sizes that do online dating and all have had their ups and downs with it just like in the "normal" dating scene.
Try some of the free dating sites, plentyoffish. And just have fun with it!! I was in the mindset of wanting to get on with life and meet a man and have 2. I actually ended up meeting someone online in the midst of that mindset We did not send each other photos for awhile, after having talked on the chat, sent emails, and time on the phone.
I was upfront about my weight and current weight loss attempt with him, and we did exchange photos I even showed him photos from my higher weight. Surprisingly he only lived a couple hours away, and now we're married and our first baby is due in a couple months.
He keeps telling me I don't have to worry about losing any more weight after the baby is born. He thinks I am huggable now I think you just have to wait for the right guy. I wouldn't put off looking for someone now if you're ready for it And when you DO get married and have kids, your appearance is going to change over the years anyway I mean what's he gonna do when you get stretch marks from being pregnant or grey hair?
Have you tried searching out people on the sites perhaps, rather than just waiting for them to contact you first? Yes, it's superficial, but I don't think being over weight is a total no go for a lot of guys. I dabble in online dating from time to time, and I've tried them all. No matter what my weight and I was always honest with pictures I've always gotten responses and gone out on dates.
Not saying I completely enjoyed myself the whole time, but I was getting out there and meeting people. I've found that confidence is the key over anything else. A well-written profile will catch someone's attention, no matter what your weight is. I recently went back to my okcupid profile created 7 years ago, when I was 22 and I was like holy crap On the sites that I was most successful with, I had my girl friends help me write the profile.
I'd say make a party out of it. Have some girlfriends over for healthy snacks and movies, and brainstorm on your profile. If you're that concerned that it's your picture that's holding you back, maybe look into some of the sites that allow you to "hold" your picture until a certain point in the conversation. I think eHarmony allows you to do that.
I reluctantly started online dating recently, and have found that it actually suits me! And the rejection is much easier to take less personal. Remember, your one goal here is to kiss a lot of frogs!! It's been shown that the people who are happiest in love are those who've tried, and failed, more than most. Be honest about your weight. It's not a turnoff.
Men love happy, confident women, not one body type. Use a free site. Less pressure and more fun. My favorite wound up being OKCupid. It's a VERY active site! Yes to above, on having friends help with your profile. Be sure to have a male friend chime in too.
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The balance of opinions will be good. And lastly, there is NO shame in online dating. There are millions of awesome doctors, lawyers, firemen, math teachers, nurses, etc all online. All good people, and of all shapes and sizes. Meet people and enjoy it.
Lost weight & looking for someone who can relate to your new lifestyle? Dating after weight loss?
I've made running buddies, one professional connection, and friends out of my dating "failures". If you're a bit shy like me , online is fantastic because you KNOW these guys want to meet someone, and you can start really slow with lots of emails, then phone calls, THEN face to face. I have dated online since about before it was cool. I met my ex-husband on there, so that's not the best factual evidence that it is a good thing. P Seriously, though, I've been a single mom since I was 21, minus my daughter having a stepdad for awhile.
I work full time, am a student, and have 2 kids.
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There isn't really another option for me, other than online. I like the ability to be vulnerable to one another. Liars happen in a bar. There are plenty of shallow people only looking for a hot night of sex or some pitiful extramarital affair. These people are online. They are in the bars. They are in church and the library. There's no perfect place to meet anyone, and all you can do is do it the way you feel comfortable doing so.
For me, I'm a nurse. The best thing to do is be honest. There are tons of men out there attracted to overweight women, "curvy" women, or whatever you choose to dub yourself. But whatever you do, be honest. You're more likely to make a more positive match if you don't hide things about who you are. Mysterious isn't really that hot when you're dating online. Withholding information makes you no better than any guy on there who is dishonest about his intentions. I've met a great deal of men online and then in real life. It's all a shopping trip.
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Whether you meet someone online or in person, you can date 5 different guys and none of them are right, or there's one that you like over the others. Doesn't matter how you meet them. We are all weeding out the trash to find the treasure. I second OkCupid by the way. That's where I met my present beau and made several wonderful friends, as well. Another piece of advice, and this is just my personal experience. Use a dating site that is not specific to size. Don't frequent plus size dating sites. These guys are freaky and creepy and it's more like fetish dating sites than anything else. Just my personal experience.
I really appreciate all of the advice!!
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Thanks also for recommending sites. I'm starting to look into them. I'm also going to re-evaluate my profile. I don't feel that I've been too insecure in it, but relooking at it from that perspective is probably a good idea. It's been awhile since I've written it and it probably needs freshening up. But I'll try to keep a positive outlook on it. In the end I do know like mamma used to say if they don't like me for my picture then I don't want to know them anyway.
It's just a hard time consuming process and I have enough of those in my life just by trying to get healthy. So I probably also need to reassess whether I'm really in the right frame of mind to do this anyway. But hopefully this process will surprise me for the better. Originally Posted by kkcurtin.