Alex, what does the Bible say about dating? Okay, does the Bible say anything that might impact Christians when they begin thinking about dating and sexual purity? A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
For those who are not married, we get this command from 1 Timothy 5: Treat younger men like brothers, older women like mothers, younger women like sisters, in all purity.
Christians are meant to treat other people with all purity, including their boyfriend or girlfriend. A common question people ask about sexual purity is 'how far can I go? In the same way, you should try to stay as far away from doing something wrong sexually when you are dating. However, I think that a ban on Christians dating is taking 1 Corinthians 6: You said that Christian dating is about when and who?
Okay, when should someone date? Christians should only date if they can see themselves getting married in the near future, and should only date to see if this person is the right person to spend the rest of their lives with. The Bible sets a few rules for who Christians can marry, and therefore who Christians should date. They are bonding and becoming emotionally glued together. In breaking up, these two hearts which have become glued together are ripped apart.
They are emotionally wounded and end up with scars that can last a lifetime. One or both experience a loss of self-esteem and the sense of being rejected. Having your heart broken is no fun; in fact, it can be devastating. Some young people try to deal with it by toughening their emotions. A person who is trying to rebound from a failed romance is very vulnerable. The sense of being rejected by someone they loved is devastating. Often they are frantically trying to find someone who shows an interest in them. Our sex-crazy culture makes it appear that sex is everything in a romantic relationship.
A physical relationship is often mistaken for love, and the couple rushes into marriage. Getting involved sexually almost always destroys a relationship. A marriage or a romantic relationship based on sex will not last. Breaking up a romantic relationship is always painful, but if the couple has been involved sexually, the breaking up is ten times worse. You have each given yourself in the most intimate way to the other person. You have given away a part of yourself and you can never get it back.
Over a period of time, jealousies and animosities can develop between guys and girls and their former partners and their new attachments. You may think you can play around and be promiscuous when you are single and leave it behind when you get married.
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That is wrong thinking. Each person is trying very hard to impress the other person. A couple can go together for years without really knowing each other. They get married and sooner or later discover the real person they married.
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At the right time God stirs up their interest in the opposite sex. The big question then becomes: How will I find the one God has in mind for me? While there can be some benefits from dating, it is based on the wrong motive—getting instead of giving. It has the wrong goal—go as far as you can.
And it can produce wrong results—broken hearts and damaged emotions. Each time, as the pain caused from the last relationship fades into the background, the guy and girl develop a new romance with a different partner. The whole scenario of getting deeply involved romantically, breaking up, and doing the same thing over and over again becomes a dress rehearsal for divorce. Is there a better way? Courtship is a relationship in which both guy and girl have the same long-term purpose in view. The requirement for courtship involves a commitment on the part of both guy and girl to certain guidelines:.
Lust is a getting proposition and it demands immediate satisfaction. Real love will wait for the right time and right circumstances. It is not unusual for two committed Christians to agree to refrain from all physical contact beyond holding hands until marriage. Some of the happiest married couples can testify to the fact that their first kiss was at the marriage altar! In a God-ordained courtship, there should be the approval of the parents on both sides. If one or both sets of parents disapprove of the relationship, that is a danger signal which should not be ignored.
A successful marriage involves serious preparation on the part of both the guy and girl. Financial freedom is a necessity in a happy marriage.
Youth & Singles – Faith Abiola Oyedepo
The couple should seriously consider a budget. You may be madly in love with each other, but if you do not have a good education and financial freedom, you may not be ready for courtship. Ideally, both husband and wife should be committed Christians who love the Lord Jesus with all their hearts. There will be serious problems if one partner is a fully-committed Christian and the other is complacent about the things of God. Under no circumstances should a born-again Christian marry an unbeliever.
Courtship brings a new freedom in relationships with the opposite sex. You are focused on one person and not wondering about every guy or girl you meet.
YOUTH TALK: WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT DATING?
It avoids envy and jealousy. Courtship promotes self-control and moral purity. It promotes responsibility—you are seriously planning and preparing for life. God delights in the happiness of His children. Every command of God is an expression of His love and His desire that we enjoy the best He has in mind for us. Let us see what God says about sexual matters.
Sexual intercourse between a man and a woman who are not married is called fornication.
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God hates all sins, but He has a special hatred for the sin of fornication. God hates this sin because it destroys the beautiful plan that God has in mind for you. For you are bought with a price: In business, defrauding is cheating—leading someone to expect certain benefits which you know are false. When a guy professes to love a girl and talks about their getting married some day in order to entice her to have sex with him, that is defrauding.
This means God will punish those who commit this sin. A good rule for guys and girls is this: Do not give or take that which may some day rightfully belong to another person. God does not hate homosexuals; He loves them! He loves them so much that He gave His only Son to die for them. But God hates their sin. The Bible tells us that God destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because of this sin. For a Christian to marry an unbeliever is a violation of the will of God. In no uncertain terms God warns us against this sin.
Let this fact impress itself on your mind: A researcher has discovered a way to forecast the future of four-year olds by watching how they interact with a marshmallow. He invites the children one by one into a plain room with nothing but a small table and a marshmallow.
Through a one-way window he is able to watch what happens. Some children grab the marshmallow the minute he is gone. Some last a few minutes while others are determined to wait. They cover their eyes, sing to themselves, try to play a game, or even fall asleep. When the scientist returns, he gives these children their hard-earned two marshmallows.