Hookup fail stories

It was… really aggressive sex.

23 worst date stories that'll make you delete your Tinder forever | Metro News

I was totally sober, but acting like a different person. I was talking dirty, slapping, spitting. I was just having fun with it. Then, Brock climbed on top, bent back, and began riding his friend in a position and in a manner in which he had never done before. His partner screamed out in pain. Brock felt something pop inside of him. He had broken his dick.

Failed hookup stories

The sex was clearly over, and it was evident that his friend was in agonizing pain as he dressed. Hours later, Brock received a text from his sex-mate from the emergency room.

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Apparently, he had fractured his penis. He would be all right, but sex with the wild researcher was never going to happen again. Kyle was staying with a friend in a one-bedroom apartment for a few weeks before the new school year began. After he and his friend finished smoking a bowl one night, his friend slipped on her eye-mask and went to sleep in the living room, leaving Kyle the bedroom for whatever dirty deeds me could find himself in.

The lights went off and things began to heat up. Kyle usually was prepared for this type of situation — condoms, lube, more condoms — but his new surroundings had him off his hook-up game.

Epic Blind Date Fails: 10 Incredible Stories

But he remembered another friend had a bag at the house with some sexual accessories, so he decided to explore. He opened, pointed in the general direction of his hand, and squeezed enough for both he and his naked new friend. Their eyes, mouth, nipples, penises and buttholes burned in a fiery mace-rage.


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The two spent the next hours in the bathroom, crying and washing, washing and crying, as they both tried to get rid of the sensation of burning flesh to go away from their genital region. Nearly two hours later, the burning horror had subsided.

FLARE staff rounded up their legit worst dating experiences—all for your enjoyment

And this story finally got its happy ending. In other words, they boned. Trevor was supposed to look for the guy with red shoes at the gym. He had been chatting with a hot torso for a while, but had failed to convince him to send a photo of his face. But there he was, on the bench press, with bright red shoes and a smoking hot face to match the body. Red shoes had a boyfriend. It was definitely a turn off, but not enough for me to leave just yet. Red Shoes wasted no time and brought Trevor up to his room.

I mean, I like it aggressive sometimes, but there was something uncomfortable about the way he was touching me.


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  7. I grabbed by clothes and ran for the door. It did not work.

    23 worst date stories that’ll make you delete your Tinder forever

    One commenter recalled getting an abscess on his toe the day before he met up with a hookup. That was all well and good until a teenage visitor to the Paris attraction passed out. I hooked up with a guy who just wanted to give me a bath…but not a shower…a bath.

    As though I was a little boy — but not actual little boy…the turn on was me pretending to act like a boy. Playing with a rubber ducky…splashing around and making a mess with all of my toys. Ahhh, people of Tinder, why you so silly?! And people of Reddit, how you so funny?! Here are the best of the best from both worlds. From the WIN category: I totally suck at Tinder. Met a girl for a one night stand.

    Four months later, we're getting on a plane to go on holiday together. I chatted a girl up that had a nice dresser in one of her pics. I needed a dresser for my new house. That was a good hookup. I met a up with a girl so we could watch Frozen together. We actually watched Frozen together. She was disappointed and I was mesmerized, I'd never seen that shit before. I recently started using Tinder and happened to get pretty damn lucky with the first girl I actually met up with. We met and got ice cream and did some making out and stuff the first time, and again another time, but the third time was quite a different story.

    She and I met at a bar that I usually go to on Wednesday nights my friends work there and they have a great special called group therapy. She ended up being pretty drunk that night which is unusual for her, and we started fooling around after heading to her apartment. At some point she told me that she was pretty inexperienced and wanted a good story if we were going to hook up. Somehow we ended up going to a lake in the middle of campus and found a secluded spot where we fucked for almost 2 hours.

    Inexperience apparently did little to affect her enthusiasm, and it did end up being a damn good story.

    3 Comments

    Plan on seeing her again tonight Spodayy: I went out to get drinks with a girl. I proceeded to admit that I was completely broke and we would have to split the drinks. She not only paid for those drinks , but then paid for the food we later ate, more drinks, and gave me a quality BJ at the end of the night.

    From the FAIL category: