Sex and dating in christian life

For me, as I grow older and am still unmarried , I have to decide who I trust more, man or God. I am sorry for your struggles and the loss you have experienced. I also have lost a brother and a mother too soon, and I miss both of them every day. But, I must look to Jesus for my hope.

He understands heartache and pain, and He cries with us. I pray that God will comfort you and give you peace. Yet people like me who have abstaining forever I will be 27 soon get no healing for non sexual diseases such as vitiligo and hypothyroidism after praying nearly everyday. Where is the logic in this? You should be happy for them I am, but I am not blind to the unfairness of people breaking the rules and then being rewarded anyways and those who obey are met with indifference by the powerful god. He is testing you. If sin is all the same, you all should get the same healing results from it, no favorites.

And what is the reason to test someone who already believes in god anyways? They will get their punishment in the afterlife Not if they received their healing in this life and have more reason to believe in god, and be a better person which will probably go to heaven and have a double good time of a life both here and there. Thank you for the link. I had seen these types of testimonies on TV, but it had not occurred to me there might be similar ones on the internet.

I am not seeing any personal benefit to following the rules, since I am not being compensated for it in anyway but the rule breakers are getting off scot free. Then, if and when you point all these inconsistencies out, you are correct, instead of being consoled by most Christians over this situation, you will be scolded for it, or told you are being prideful.

Speaking as a year-old man and lifelong celibate, I empathize with many of your points. And I could drive myself crazy with these thoughts. All this to say, I understand that it works both ways, and our Enemy is quick to bury us with lies about God that would dismantle our hope. Hope in itself is a dangerous thing. Without it we are void of the expectations that crush us.

And yet the writer of Hebrews consides it prerequisite for faith So the question is, would you or I risk our relationship with God for the sake of hope? At the same time, I think many of your arguments are based in a faulty understanding of justice. But scripture says that this is justice: Not just at the end of our lives. We are already sinners.

Romances with Wolves

Thus, just as the ex-strippers have received grace in marriage, you and I have received it by the very measure of waking up this morning. Inevitably, the God that created you and I determines justice, and our attempts to create our own will always fall short. Could I truly appreciate His grace if I felt I had earned everything I had received through my sexual purity, including marriage? Could the ex-stripper truly appreciate grace were she not accepted by a Godly husband in the purest way?

Must not have been. Two different measures — the same God who owes us nothing. He gives because He knows exactly what we need to find Him, and that has to be good enough. That said, everything you state about the church is true. Hebrews 11 would have me think the opposite is true. It is easy to believe when you desire nothing: But to seek Him despite evidence to the contrary of its fulfillment?

That requires a miracle.

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For a year-old man to live without sex and trust that a righteous woman would be honored by that someday? Nothing short of a miracle driven by faith. The world is still paying for that sin. This is much bigger than how you feel about older Christians having sex outside of marriage. This is about what you know of God and whether you know Him to be trusted.

I hope you want to get married to a true Christian woman, because if you do…I know plenty of them who are sitting in church living chaste lives for Christ and praying for a husband…Come on over here!!!!! The topic is marriage and singleness, not salvation, not heaven and hell.

The ex stripper has a husband. I obeyed God, she did not. The ex stripper and I both ultimately deserve hell, but in living life day to day, one still gets a husband — the other does not. I simply pointed out that lots of people are committing fornication anyway and are not being penalized -AND — even more unbelievably — they are being BLESSED with great husbands, homes, jobs, etc. God did not hold them accountable for their sexual escapades, and there was no fall-out or consequence from or for their sins.

There was even one testimony by a Christian 25 year old woman who was so promiscuous, beginning when she was a teen, that she contracted a disease from the sexual activity. It injured her internal organs badly, and doctors said there was no cure. However, she began praying about this. No disease at all!

My Take: How Christians should rethink sex – CNN Belief Blog - ajypeges.tk Blogs

So apparently, not even contracting STDs Sexually Transmitted Diseases is a consequence one has to endure if having sex outside of marriage; one can sin knowing it is wrong, fornicate with lots of men for ten to 15 years, get a S. Wait until you are in your early 40s like me and still waiting, with no end in sight to the waiting. Specifically, I've jotted down ten reasons why I'm now waiting until marriage to have sex. When I was in college, I remember having an experience that I referred to as a "love hangover.

That's something you won't see on TV or in the movies, but it happens a lot. There was emptiness, even regret, afterwards. The "love hangover" was a strange occurrence for me. Mainly because when I was in college, sex was my "god. So you would imagine that having sex would have been completely fulfilling -- the crowning achievement in the worship of my "god. Has that been your experience, too? Have you ever had a "love hangover"?

If you have, you should stop and consider, "Why is that? Why is it that sex, if it's so important to me, leaves me with an empty feeling?


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I remember being confused by this emptiness. For example, we get the car we've always wanted, but then it's just "okay" after awhile. Instead of realizing that a car can't really satisfy us, we usually make the error of thinking, "Well, I guess that wasn't the right car. A different one will give me lasting fulfillment. But the emptiness continued. So, finally, I came to the conclusion that premarital sex wasn't all it's cracked up to be. It gets too much hype. It's not what the movies make it out to be.

If it were, it would be completely fulfilling. There wouldn't be any "emptiness. I've found that girls often don't fully understand what's going on when it comes to sex. That is, their perspective on the whole thing is very different from a guy's. Often a girl will justify sex by saying, "But I love him," even if she doesn't really want to go through with it. Why does that happen? It's been said that, "Girls use sex to get love; guys use love to get sex. This is how it works: And while something inside her is telling her it's the right thing to do, something inside the guy is telling him just the opposite, yet he proceeds.

For the physical pleasure no doubt, but also, I think, for another reason: But there is a great irony in that, for what is manly about deceiving a woman? Something I've discovered is that, when you honor a woman, you are honoring yourself. Because someday you will have regret, and the regret will last much longer than the pleasure. In the movie Rob Roy, the main character says, "Honor is a gift a man gives himself. Here's what I mean: When I put myself in the shoes of those men, I wish that I hadn't done what I've done.

In fact, I might even like to punch myself in the nose for it. And so it goes without saying that when I get married, I'm not going to like the idea that someone else has had his way with my wife. Do you like the idea of someone else being with your wife? If you have a girlfriend now and feel that way, think of how much stronger that feeling will be with your wife someday. You can even take it a step further.

That girl is someone's daughter. What if she were my daughter? Or what if she were my sister? Would I want some guy like me taking advantage of her? I now see girls from a different perspective. They're someone else's future wife, someone else's daughter, sister, etc. For example, I had a college sweetheart, the girl of my dreams. With her, there was never a dull moment. Sex soon became the focus of our relationship.

I stopped wanting to get to know her on any other level. And so, instead of growing closer together, we actually started drifting apart. That's what I mean by "sex killed my best relationships. But when my girlfriend and I started relating mostly physically, it short-circuited the other parts of our relationship. As a result, the relationship as a whole started to go south. We might still be together today if we I had waited. I've seen this happen with countless relationships, not just others of my own, but those of many other people. And I think there's a reason for this, which I'll explain next.

For me, two things happened once I had sex with a girl. As I look back on it, I can say that they happened literally every time, although I was unaware of these dynamics at the time. The two things were this: I don't know why this happened, I just know that it did. Maybe it's just built into "the system. I've seen it happen over and over again.


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  6. I know many people having marital problems because they engaged in premarital sex. They go into the marriage with lack of respect and lack of trust, two absolute necessities for the health of any marriage. I know a newlywed couple who have sex less than once a month because of this -- he doesn't respect her, she knows it, and she doesn't trust him, so she doesn't want to give herself to him. It's very sad, and more common than you might think.

    But nobody talks about this kind of thing in public. And the movie and TV portrayals of couples having sex before marriage never present it either. It's like no one wants to acknowledge that it's happening, even though it is. Because we'll go into the marriage with me having more respect for her and her having more trust in me. One thing I've learned: Deep down, she doesn't really enjoy being with him.

    #3: That's somebody else's wife.

    This is how it works. Since "girls use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex," a couple will have sex before marriage. The girl does this to hold on to the relationship. The guy does it because he wants it even more than the relationship itself. Then, after the marriage, the woman has what she wants: So she doesn't need to use sex to get him anymore. And, because she may be harboring resentment because he had sex with her before they were married, she is now not interested in sex. And the guy -- who doesn't treasure his wife because of the sex before marriage -- still wants sex but not as a total bonding experience with his wife.

    It's just sex, which she figures out. So, there is a lousy sex life in the marriage. I'm not making this stuff up. Now that I'm out of college and many people around me are getting married, I'm seeing it happen all the time. And consequently they'll have better and more frequent sex because they respect each other more and love each other more deeply.

    Sex is a mysterious thing that causes a deep bond between people, even if we call it "casual. It's like a piece of scotch tape -- the more you use it on different surfaces, the less it sticks to things. After awhile, it won't stick to anything. If I bond with other girls before I get married, I won't be able to bond as well with my wife someday.

    I won't cherish her as much as I could have, and consequently I won't love her as much as I could have. Each day that passes that I've remained faithful to my future wife means that my relationship with her will be better. It's a funny thing: Because, if you take the element of time out of the equation, premarital sex is adultery.

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    We can imagine how adultery would greatly injure a marriage relationship, maybe premarital sex actually has nearly the same result. It injures the potential bond between a man and a woman. Sex is meant to complement a relationship, not be the most important aspect of it. That's what I've found out. It's supposed to be the icing on the cake when all the other aspects of your relationship are working well. I've come to understand that the sex will be good if the rest of the relationship is good.

    That's why I know I don't have to sleep with my wife to find out if we're sexually compatible.