Chinese people tend to think Americans are rich and can't provide for us on their smaller salary.
Compared to the way my husband grew up in post-Cultural Revolution China, the modest home I grew up in is a mansion. He always paid on dates, but when he had the opportunity to get his research published in some professional journals and couldn't afford the fee, he was very hesitant to accept the money from me. Jocelyn said that the guys that she's dated haven't come out directly to express their intent.
They're slow and spend a lot of time texting and talking to show their interest in you.
Physical intimacy comes pretty slowly if the guys are serious about dating. My husband and I didn't even hold hands until our fifth or sixth date, and our first kiss was several dates after that. Although Hollywood's portrayal of us American women is taken by Chinese to mean that we're all "open minded" meaning you have a list of past relationships that numbers in the double digits or are open to one-night stands the guys worth pursing a relationship with will respect your boundaries if you're clear and upfront with them.
One of the first things I noticed about the younger guys in China are that they almost always carry their girlfriend's purse. It's kind of strange to get used to seeing so many guys with designer handbags on their arms, but they appear to do it willingly. When I asked my husband about it, he said he's never noticed. From my observations, this occurs among the somethings and ceases--as does hand-holding--after the couple has a baby. I've never asked my husband to carry my purse but do appreciate that he still holds my hand, even after two kids.
That's about it for insights on dating Chinese guys! Were there any unexpected things in this article you weren't aware of? Have you had any experience dating a Chinese person? Share with us your experiences in the comments! She's traded in lesson planning for freelancing and is attempting to master the art of Chinese cuisine and, possibly, driving in China. Tue, 19 May Type tone numbers after each pinyin syllable then click the convert button to change them in tone marks.
Sign up for Free. Already have an account? Click here to Log in. Yoyo Chinese Official Blog. Here are some of our insights about dating Chinese guys: They date for marriage Chinese guys, with pressure from their parents and coming from a different culture of dating, by-and-large date to marry. I guess that was his marriage proposal! They take their parents' word seriously With filial piety being taught in school from first-grade on, I've found that Chinese adults take their parents' word very seriously. I try to listen out of respect, then choose whether or not I'll follow what they say.
They're okay with living apart Presumably, you meet your boyfriend while you're both in the same city as most couples do, but a large number of Chinese couples live and work in different cities. But Chinese girls possess some reasons for their restraint. China had a feudal society for over two thousand years. During this time women had few rights. Their parents decided their marriages.
If a man found his wife was not a virgin when they got married, he could kick her out. As a result, the woman would be discriminated against and would be regarded as a whore. She could not go back to live with her parents because it was such a humiliation.
Most likely, she would end up selling her body at a whorehouse or committing suicide. Changes in culture never happen overnight. These values have been passed on by generations. Therefore, virginity is still a big deal to most Chinese women, even though China is a very modernized country where fans are upgraded to air conditioners, black and white TVs are upgraded to LCD screens and mud houses are upgraded to skyscrapers. If a Chinese girl were to have sex with her boyfriend, it would mean she thought of him as her prospective husband. So take it slow when you date a Chinese girl; she needs time to confirm that you are the one she wants to join for the rest of her life, not only in her bed.
Boyfriends and girlfriends hang out, watch movies, study, eat and travel together. Chinese girls, however, may like to do a bit more shopping with their boyfriends. One might wonder who pays these bills. Then he becomes an anxious husband, praying that his wife will show mercy to their bank account.
Top 10 complaints of Chinese girlfriends- ajypeges.tk
So guys, be patient when dating a Chinese girl: Especially be truthful when dating a Chinese girl: The final paragraph of this article was edited by the Editor-in-Chief at I feel a little offended after reading this article. Especially the comment near the end: Not all Chinese girls are gold-diggers. Not any that I know. The writer should really be more sensitive in conveying his personal opinions and be professional about telling stories. Modern Chinese women are just as independent financially as Western women, and the new generation is just as liberal in their relationships.
Dated 3 chinese girls all of them shallow golddigers. Do I really need to tell? And even less realistic of knowing how to write in English! Well, it is absolutely normal a Chinese girl, defending her girls in their culture.
Hong Kong Forum
But check out the facts. I am a Swiss guy making I also have known a Chinese girl doing PhD in Finland, finally ended up to sleep with her married supervisor professor to finish her PhD. In conclusion Chinese woman makes me nauseous.
I have dated Chinese women, and well women in general. I think of myself as a regular fairly well educated guy. Certainly I have my flaws of course. I will not comment of the Chinese, but maybe dating in general, I am very disappointed how much the checkbook plays into relationships these days. I am in my late 40s. It is actually sad. As a guy, I see some pretty significant trends among women, I am sure guys have their faults.
I hope humanity can get grounded again. A lot of people hurt each other for no apparent reason, maybe misunderstandings that do not get discussed and turn into larges sores in the relationship. Most guys are good and most guys would literally die for the wife. But wow, I have seen some stuff…. Well, sorry to hear about the checkbook thing.
I am a Chinese girl, I can say I never asked my ex British for money or ask him to get me anything.
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What I wanted was a little more attention when he is not at work, not with his son. BUT, we still broke up, because he thought I was jealous about his son. It is just difficult to find one who really cares. Generalization is a huge problem in this article. How many Chinese girls has this author dated if any? Who is to judge the morality of Chinese women? Please be respectful to others, well… that is, if you want others to respect you.
If not, no one has anything to say about it. Sorry, I think the article was missread. It is to say when meeting a normal girl, do not rush. Otherwise u wl know where you are. As a Chinese girl, I find this article not only offensive but ignorant and untrue. Any girl of any race chooses her own values and morals and using the opinions of two people to generalize an entire race of women is unfair and unprofessional. Concluding more than a half billion women to share exact same characteristic seems irresponsible.
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It is obvious that the author of this artical is irrational since he has made a serious logical fallacy as overgeneralization. Surely this is subject matter more appropriate for illicit circulation by groups of wayward and hard-up men with a reductive view of the role women can play in their lives than it is for the college newspaper! Shame on the Pio for commissioning such a piece! Secondly, it is irresponsible and downright essentialist to suggest that all Chinese women share exactly the same attitudes to men, morality and money.
Such generalizations are unhelpful, orientalist and just a wee bit racist. Thirdly, the tacit claim of this piece is that Chinese women are unusually concerned about their virtue and being depicted as whores, AND that if men spend a little money on these women, they will, in fact give it up. So ultimately, the claim is that Chinese women all 0. This is an unacceptable and unacceptably sexist and racist claim. I know that Whitman students are smarter and more culturally savvy than this. Also, what about those couples in China who cannot afford the luxury of time and material wealth to go on these shopping safaris?
Do they never have sex? Or do they just not constitute as a typical Chinese couple? I do not see how the argument benefits from the discussion of the role of shopping and money to dating practices, even if it were written with more finesse. The idea for this article is fundamentally regressive and offensive. I question how it was approved at the beginning of the production process. This article is a disappointment and an embarrassment to the college. There are several things I would like to say regarding this article.
In my opinion, the Pioneer does NOT deserve respect of students, especially after publishing this article. I cannot believe something like this would happen on the Whitman campus. Now to the author, I also noticed that this article has been altered during the week, WHY? We, the people of Whitman College, deserve an apology from you, and the Pio.
A student-run newspaper should protect its student, a student-run newspaper should have ethics. Obviously you DONT have either. Concerned commenters, Thank you for your input on this column. The final paragraph of the article was indeed altered by the Editor-in-Chief on Oct. We have updated the article to recognize this. Columns in The Pioneer reflect solely the opinion of the author. Opinions expressed in columns do not reflect the policies or opinion of the paper as a whole. I wonder what the author said to the opinion editor during the production process?
Because literally, I cannot imagine a justifiable rationale for this article, as it is written. Obviously, the author wrote it alone I hope but what about the editing process? While a paper that publishes an opinion piece does not off course endorse all of its content, the paper presumably thinks at the very minimum, that the opinion piece in question deserves to be published and for what end? For the purpose of contributing to public discussion…Well, so what discourse could the Pioneer possibly thought that this opinion piece was contributing towards?