When men message women, women tend to respond most often to men around their own ages. A year-old woman will have better luck messaging a year-old man than a year-old one, according to the data. And a year-old man is more likely to respond to a message from a year-old woman than a message from any other age group. When women make the first move, the age gap dating norm is reversed. I asked my friend Trevor, a year-old mathematician, what he made of it.
They have more interesting jobs and hobbies, and their profiles are just better … no stupid selfie-only profiles. Did that explain it? Across all ages, straight women write shorter profiles than straight men. And then there are those year-old women who really clean up with the year-old dudes. Cindy has been dating men in their 20s for the past 15 years. Working in tech, she sometimes feels she has more in common with somethings than older men. When I spoke with women who message much younger men on OkCupid, most of them told me something similar.
The internet is divided on the topic. The researchers approached random people in public and asked them to imagine themselves in a romantic relationship with an attractive person of the opposite sex. So I decided to find the answers myself. I tackled this paradigm-shifting research the only way I knew how: I created a survey.
Although I could have hit the streets of New York and surveyed people in-person Buunk style, I decided to mTurk my survey. I try to avoid as much social interaction in my daily life as possible. This can vary from transcribing a movie, to identifying an item on a receipt, to taking a survey about hypothetical romantic relationships. Within a few days I got responses: As John and Lauren got older, however, the creepiness rule differed from how people actually responded. Yet according to the survey, 37 was well outside the age range of what is socially acceptable.
The results also showed that the creepiness rule is too restrictive about how old you can date when you are young, but becomes too lenient as you get older. Yet, people surveyed were fine with John and Lauren seeing someone in their early 30's. When John and Lauren are 60, the creepiness rule allows them to date anyone older than themselves the official cap is I know they know how much I love them. I had such a nice time and he is so laid back and cool, but I find myself now wanting it to just go away. I am probably better at taking care of my health than he is and more physically active.
But he is so darn cute and sweet with no stupid attitude. I really appreciated this. But it was nice for a short weekend. Our problems start with her grown kids. One son threatened my life street-thug and stole a tv from me I placed in his mothers bedroom. Another child of hers recently broke into her bedroom again and stole a weapon of mine, made up a elaborate story, causing confusion among their family members. Those issues along with constant accusations, lies, brats have contributed to us growing apart.
Older men often date younger women, but everyone can benefit when the age gap is reversed
Personally i am seriously looking for an older lady 4 marriage, i am tired of my age mates who are not serious at all. I pray that my dream comes true before end of this year. I think your advice is for insecure guys who just want a female they can control. Most men who are confident in themselves would go for any woman they love regardless of age. But sadly it is true that younger women are totally clueless and ignorant about the real principles of life and that is why they are more controllable by macho men.
Aww, that is so sweet.. Just ask her out! I am a young black man age 27 and i am willing to marry a woman only if we understand each other so i am open to date any age. I am a young black man age 27 good looking,loving,caring and respectful and love to be social some time. At the beginning its fun. In the middle younger will try to coup up and compromise at last nothing left behind. Never ever do that mistake and as far as dating is concerned its good otherwise guys you will ruin your life never marry an older woman. We have a lot in common and are the best of friends, and love each other deeply.
At age 43 I got pregnant by accident and lost the baby. I feel bad about that and wish I could give him a child. We are getting married in 5 months and our families are really happy for us. I take good care of myself. Wow, I thought I was alone in the world.
A few months ago, I invited him to hang out with me and my 25 year old niece. My niece went to bed and he and I wound up talking until 2 in the morning. A few weeks later, he and I went to a bar with my 25 year old niece and her 43 year old boyfriend. That was rather confusing for our waiter! Now, my 27 year old friend and I go out frequently. We love the same things — amusement and water parks, zip lines, scary movies and Mexican food. When I read about you and your partner I felt a bit of a relief. Goodluck to you both , I hope it works out.
My girlfriend and I been together for over 6 years. Physical, emotional, and intellectuality a perfect fit. However, family plays a very negative role in our relationship. We also know public perception would not been kind. Her career tanked and physical health caused her outlook to change to acceptance. Only way we overcome is our bond and understanding each other. Physical connection does that. Yes, our sex is amazing. This article gives me some encouragement. About 7 years I met someone at work casually until one day she invited a few co-workers to her house for a get-together.
I was the only one that could make it. We talked a lot I mostly listened. She was 47 at the time and I was She told me all about her life. How her husband who made k a year of 20 years cheated on her many times, her daughter has severe mental illness and other things. At this time I thought we were just two people talking. Until some of her stories got emotional and she began to break down and cry little.
Then she took me into her bedroom. I had no idea she wanted to sleep with me. A couple weeks later she asked if I wanted hang out with her and I did. The same thing happened. After the first time I really liked her, then after the third or fourth time, I started to have feelings for. She was perfect and very attractive to me. I never told her my feelings about her and she always initiated everything and we really went out one time. But about a month later she said that the age gap was a problem because of what other people might say or think.
Then she said was worried that I might leave her later on for someone else and she would feel bad for staying with when she gets very old or sick. She told me that she told her aunt about us and she was happy for her. She asked me to be friends with her, but I thought she just wanted to sleep with someone else. She even told me that I was the best lover she ever had. All this talk about our relationship was done by e-mail. I tried dating a few girls my age, but no one clicked. I know I will never find anyone remotely likely again. Maybe I am trying for a second chance.
Hi there — I am reading all of these comments from people — I am finding it interesting. I am a 53 year woman interested in a 38 year old man I have known for over 6 years. He met me when I was at my worst — I was recovering from a neck fusion that had gone badly. He was in an unhappy marriage. He is Indian and gorgeous, smart, fun, etc. I have been attracted and liked him this whole time — he was married when I met him but very unhappy but he stayed true to his ex-wife.
I always thought there was an attraction between us. Now we are back in touch and things with our friendship are great — we also have some romance going too. We have not slept together — maybe because of his culture, he recently lost his job — that is a big deal with him — he is looking — plus he took over everything financially following his divorce.
He is very stressed. I am giving him space. Everytime we see each other we get physical. He is more mature than any guy my age or older that I have ever been involved with. I am hoping it turns into a real romance. He once told me he likes older women. You would never know I am People think I am in my mid to late 30s at the most. I take care of myself even following 2 neck fusions.
He is not using me clearly for sex as we have not gone there yet — I am hoping we do, but I want it to mean that he is ready to move forward. I think what maybe holding him back is his situation following his divorce. I have a 14 year old son through invitro — I was engaged once — never married.
He was married once as I said for 10 years got married at Divorced almost 2 years. He has a 9 year old daughter. I do not think he wants more children since we have 2 between us. My attitude is I am just going to watch and wait — see what happens — he needs space right now — no pressure — but I will be honest I hope he comes around and soon. I am supportive — he has been supportive of me — he is very spiritual and philosophical. He used to text me these wonderful philosophical quotes but that was before he lost his job and became so stressed.
I have a lot of stress to but I think we could really help each other out. I think we would be great together. I do not think it is the cultural things as his first wife was white as I am. I sure do not care what race he is. I just want it to move somewhere — I see myself with him.
Knowing him prior to our first romantic experience and then to see him freak out was a surprise and I thought he reacted badly. Then the time went by and we got in touch. I did not know if anything would happen but it has each time we have been together — he must be attracted to me — I think he always has been but again he stayed true to his unhappy marriage — I respect him for that plus I would never get involved with a married man no matter how unhappy he is. I met his wife — I have been to parties at their house when they were together — all in friendship.
Now here we are. Hello pat please help me. Well im 27 and i been talking to a 47 lady she is very nice we met at work and she is a nurse never thought someone with a high profession would be interested in me btw she asked for my number and told me that i was good looking and friendly and told me on the spot if there was a way we could hand out and get to know each other.
Well everything is great untill i saw her daughter and i kinda got attracted she looks just like her and she shows up at her job and stares at me alot i dont know if they been talking or if she is physically attracted to me Well she wants to go bowling and she is bringing her daughter she invited me and it looked like it was going to be a weird night i have no idea what to do from this point foward any ideas would help thanks pat. I have been dating a man 18 years younger. I feel like I love him, but worry for the future, although he has never wanted kids and his mother has also stated this.
He has some emotional issues as do I which has helped us to bond. Just may need a face lift in the future. We just made our relationship official on Facebook last weekend. He visited me and it was wonderful! He lives in a different state and has to drive over 30 hours to see me. I find him adorable and am head over heels for him. He also has a reputation of being a ladies man and sending pics of his junk to all the pretty ladies on FB.
I am 41 years old married to a 29 year old. I really wish I would have held off on marriage. This is my second marriage and he is a great guy;however, very unstable. I find myself less attracted to him as the days go by to a point that I do not want him touching me. I try not to hurt his feelings but if this marriage is going to work, I have to be totally honest with him.
I can not pretend like I am happy. I am miserable and I want out of this marriage but I know this man loves the dirt I walk on and I know he would be devastated. I have tried to end it several times but he insists on working it out. I am the realist, it will not work. I have a foot out and he is holding on tight to the other.. No more younger men!!! I was married for 28 years and have two children aged 24 and It still freaks us both out when we talk about the age gap. Hi, I am dating a young man i. He is 35 and I am I have three grown up children and I am a widower.
He has four children and he is a divorcee. Everything started because he wanted to try an older woman since he was only with his first girlfriend who is 4 years younger then him. We work together in the same job and am also one of his Manager, I know it was wrong but we did fell in love. I did a lot for our relationship just to make him feel good and happy since he used to complained that his girlfriend was very immature and did not treat him right.
Everything was good and working out I even told my ex husband about it and to some of my closets friends who were ok with it. We always end up going back with each other since we love each other so much. I trusted him with my eyes close until I found out that his girlfriend and him were always in a relationship while him and I were together.
When he told her about me she freaked out and moved out of his house where he lived with his parents and sister. His mother freaks out on him and his father and they told him to break it up and to do it ASAP. Two weeks ago his girlfriend called me because she wanted to know about him and I and how long we were together, I told her everything and she started crying.
To make the story short he decided to break my heart and leave me and ask his ex for forgiveness since his mother told him that I was too old for him and besides that my son and him are the same age.. Am so heart broken still it only been 3 weeks since all of that happen, and a week an half since he started changing with me. I wanna to let him go but is so hard because I miss him so much.
Please give me an advice of what should I do. I am in a three year relationship so far with a 36 year old man and I am I feel that he is more distant, and I believe that may be an issue though he does not directly say so.
However, we do love each other and spend time with both of our families as well. I think if we were to break up it would have less to do with our age gap than other things at this point. I think a woman has to have a very strong self confidence to date a handsome younger man. I think each situation is unique and all relationships have their difficulties. I do not regret anything about our relationship whether or not it will stand the test of time. Thank you very much for your insightful article…and the comments from other people are quite informative.
To my sweet precious and perfect young lover: I love you so much. And there is a future for you…the ups and downs of your innocent youth. Thank you for thinking i was beautiful. And by ending us, you have a chance to fulfil your dreams. I am 28 and my girlfriend is We are so happy we have each other. We are going to get marriage soon. I hope older women are Carin and sexy. I have promised myself not to date any one younger than I am………. I would rather date someone who 20 years older and be happy and safe than dating someone younger and crying at the end, besides age means nothing what matters is the love and mutual understanding between both parties.
Biggestmistake you can make. This is a warning for younger guys with older women….. I have never found a man my age has anything in common with me I have dated men 5 or 6 yrs older and their generally male chauvinist and control feels. I have found my best relationships are with men 5 to 10 yrs younger does this make me a freak. Once people have kids and have a career going why should it matter. The problem I have now is all the men who want someone in my age group want me to quite my job and spend all my time on them. I am going to have to work til I am in my 70s if I plan on having any cushion.
I am a baby boomer and there are almost no one in my age group. For 70 yr old men a relationship is about them. I love him never loved any man like I love him! I am attracted towards a lady who is like almost 6 — 7 years older than me. I am like in late 20s and she is in late 30s I believe. I am really in love with her sweet voice and elegant personality. Her cuteness and politeness has just crushed me …. I am really in awe of her…. She is well educated, highly experienced and skillful in her profession like of Senior Management Cadre and I am like a junior level person in the organization.
She regards high of me and has praised me couple of times but strictly for professional reasons since we never communicated so much on personal level as such as I also find it necessary to maintain decorum in the office. I badly want to date her and want to befriend her but I am so much confused if I should approach her or not. BDW she is single according to my sources but I am not sure if she is seeing anyone or whether she would approve of this all craziness. Is it just an infatuation???
I am attracted towards a lady who is like almost 8 years older than me. I am like 24 and she is in mid 30ies I guess. The bad thing is she just left I badly want to date her and want to befriend her but I am so much confused if I should approach her or not. I am really confused… I can only hope that if she gets to read this message she realizes herself and approach me… I swear I would grab it like kids do with chocolate.
I am a young 74 and have always attracted much younger men. I have found the real love of my life in a 44 year old Jamaican American who determinedly pursued me and won me. He has no ulterior motives…our sex life is unbelievably wonderful and he is intelligent, funny, deeply caring and my dearest friend. I am oblivious to the opinion of others…..
A younger man dating an older woman | Ask MetaFilter
I have had a successful relationship with a man 7 years younger. He was 25, I was Recently I was pursued by the male nurse who is taking care of me from time to time at home. He is a very distant distant relative…. We have lots in common and traveled together lots and have lots of fun. The problem is that he is 17 years younger…. We talked about getting a surrogate. We talked about marriage. I feel like settling down and maybe having one kid but I am not sure this man is the long haul type even though we have lots in common and share a lot of similar life experiences growing up and feels deep connections with each other.
He said he never met anyone like me who understood him and accepted him with all his shades of grey. I never met anyone with so much complexity in his character. I am 27 years old and have now been dating a 41 year old lady. She is so Beautiful. She has a perfect body. She works out three times a week.
That is how I meet her. She has 3 kicks from a 17 year long marriage that ended in a bitter divorce. I could go on for hours about how well we get along and how I think I might be a little in love with her. So we have been seeing each other for about six months. We became intimate the first time we went out. The problem we have now is that she is pregnant. Yes yes yes she warned me but I, I guess did not take her seriously.
I am not sure of this or anything right now. I mean everything is good now but what about ten years form now. I mean how about 20 years from now. I like older women but I like younger women and women my age as well. I just alway thought that I would marry a girl my age and be married a couple of years before we had kids. I mean I am not I love with thus woman that is going to have my baby. What do I do. Hi guys I really want some mature woman …as I feel they have the deep understanding of life and love.
I feel love is what we feel love is for whom we care about. Am I right marni. He is a wonderful man very gentle and kind. We have been together a year.
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Very happy and in love. He has no problem with the age difference but I do. He is in college and working 3 jobs. My career was successful and am newly retired. I feel he is just starting a life I have already made for myself. As it is there is no way he can financially take care of our needs even with my financial resources its tight to take care of my needs plus many of his. I care so much for him but worry about the future and if 10 years down the road will he wake up and reality hit about the age difference now be an issue. At that pt he will be young enough to find someone else while at my age not so easily.
Never dated a younger man and appreciate your professional opinion. Also, with good genes, no wrinkles. For all the obvious reasons, I fought the attraction for weeks — until he won. Well, actually we both won. The year age difference bothers me, but him not at all. Our relationship began 12 months ago and it continues …. Very informative article, some great comments. I am 38 and my husband is We met and began dating 3 years ago. We have been married or 7 months. I love this man and am so thankful that I have been blesed with such an amazing husband!
Undressed: What’s the Deal With the Age Gap in Relationships?
Prior to meeting my husband I was married to my ex for 16 uears. He was a lying manipulative drug addict. We had two boys together. We love and respect one anoher unconditionally and our age difference is never an issue outside of my sometimes insecure moments. We are very open and encouraging to one another. Age has never played a role in our love for one another. Anyhoo, we were hanging out as friends for about two months, and I started to become seriously attracted to him. And gave me the best sex of my life!
As I said to him last night: Life is full of surprises! Thanks for the article…age is realy nothing,as long you love and respect each other,life goes on! Thanks for the articles…age is realy nothing,as long you love and respect each other,life goes on! I am 26 dating a 19 year old.
We have a fabulous relationship. There are times when it feels as though I hold the parent role though. Given his age, I cut him more slack than I would a guy of my age. I know that he cannot provide for me right now. However, I have no doubt that he can in the future. I am not sure what to do. I am moving back home to another state. He cannot come yet due to school and that he does not have his own car or enough money. He insists that he wants to get a full time job, save money an move to b with me. Should I break things off or should I expect that this could really work out.
He will be Can I expect him to seriously want to settle down, become married and have children? He says he will want these things but I question that because of his age. I need a lot of advice. I get really happy to find out so many older women are dating younger men because it lessens my competition.
There is nothing more amazing for me to have such young love and now with the internet, I get pictures practically whenever I want them. Thank you young men for taking yourselves off the market and making my dreams that much easier to achieve. I currently in love with a man 17 years my junior. We have had our share of difficulties. I think the main problem is I am a alpha women.
Calling him all day,leaving my job in the middle of the day for sex. It maybe to late for me. It looks like some of the words got changed by correction in my article above.. I am 49 and my boyfriend is I stumbled across this site and am glad I did. We have been dating 10 years! I have two older kids he gets along with well and things were great until recently when alot of his friends started to have kids. We have discussed me having another but due to a medical condition that was stolen from us..
I love him with my soul and he does me,but what I feel is who am I to take that from him? Although he says he d rather have me over kids I deeply feel he would eventually hate me for him never having his own. Old what to do. So much love,time and history to just throw away,yet at the same time how can I be selfish and hold him back from that. I was so apprehensive to even start to date him but ten yrs later I love him and him me just as the first day.. I risked alot to date him and looks like love or not I will end up alone in this.
Just talk thoroughly about kids if u enter into a Dec May relationship..
Hi I have just started dating a younger guy he is 28 and iam At first i was dubious meeting him as he is not yet here i met him on holiday in Egypt. He is Egyptian and gorgeous guy kind loving and vv matue for his age and i love that abt him he has his head screwed on. We have been married 2 yrs and 6 months i got married over there to him as he cannot come here yet. But let me tell u ladies out there dating a younger guy is gd you feel young as well.
I go to c him as often as i can a nd spend 3 glorious weeks wiv him our relationship is great in all aspects we have gd sex life we trust each other and we understand each othe rand have a lot in common. I have 2 kids from my previous marriage, son is 16 daughter is 19 i am worried when he finally does come here i want them to accept him eventually as they have never met him. What advice can u give me on that i really want them to accept him oneday. I am 64 and divorced 22 years.
I am very attractive, fit, financially secure, and look early 40s. I did not start my career until I was 50 so I am also in the middle years of a career. I have always dated younger men 7 years to 28 years. They ask me out. I was in a 25 year marriage and have wonderful children and grandchildren. I am now dating just for fun and incredible physical attraction a 38 year old man.
He was married once and does not want to marry again. We are in the same place liberal, easy going, health oriented and have a lot in common. Fun, playful, and sexy. The trick to this is knowing what you need. Why would I date a 60 year old man who is insecure, resentful, wants to settle down and needs Viagra? Every young man I have been with was the oldest and alpha. More alpha than the older men. My new theory is that so long as neither party wants children and both are over 35 — we are all adults. Twenty-something men can be immature, and probably not that sexually experienced.
Of course, no reason he might not be interested in a woman under 35 if they both want children. A 40 year old man who wants children should be dating a younger woman. And I hate the word cougar. As bad as gold digger. He is very keen to pursue a relationship, I am more wary. He prefers the company of older woman, and likes that I am self confident and independent. I have been very honest with him but he is still pursuing me. Im in a relationship with a guy 15years younger. Im very happy, if feel loved. Never had the plessure of dating an older guy.
Im Always attracting younger man. Cant say It dies nit frustrates me.