First time email online dating

Now it might seem strange to say that after we just told you to use correct grammar, but messages that start off with Hello or Hi come across as run of the mill and perhaps a bit boring.


  • First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground.
  • How to Write Your First Online Dating Message.
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So while you should avoid using netspeak too much, using slang or an unusual greeting is considered a great move. You could always spruce it up a bit and go with a foreign greeting, but make sure you know what it means otherwise you could come off looking like a bit of a Del boy. While everybody enjoys compliments on their looks, focusing too much on physical looks seems to imply shallowness.

11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses

Messages using words like beautiful and sexy will more often than not end up getting deleted immediately. Better to focus on interests, or even better, common interests.

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Talking about your own interests can give the recipient a good idea of what you are like. Nothing starts a conversation quicker than a question, so do yourself a huge favour and simply ask one.

There’s more to it than you think

I know this is not marketing school but, like a marketer, you are trying to reel someone in. And just like an ad agency makes a call to action, you can too, by simply asking about an interest or even suggesting a dinner date. Unless you are actively seeking a partner of a specific faith, then it is probably a good idea to leave out any religious words in your first message.

Religion is always a bit of a minefield in the dating game and you really need to be careful not to offend anyone or risk being offended yourself. Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion. These are the religious terms that appeared a statistically significant number of times.

How to write that first online-dating note

Atheist actually showed up surprisingly often times per 10, messages, second only to mentions of christian and ahead of for jewish and for muslim. But ideally you should just disbelieve the whole thing. The program then aggregated results by phrase before presenting the data. No one at OkCupid read any actual user messages to compile this post. Written by Christian Rudder. Sign in Get started. Get updates Get updates. He's earnest and passionate? Amp up the sincerity.

First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs

But -- cue the sappy learning-moment-in-"Full-House" music -- don't start blathering in a voice that feels totally phony to you, mmkay? We're assuming you're interested because you have some personality traits in common Maybe some people out there love receiving verbose messages, but we'd argue that brevity is a virtue. Who's more intriguing -- the hottie at the bar who wanders over and rattles off a six-minute monologue blending compliments, autobiographical bits and small talk, or the Cool Kid who drops a quick remark and waits for encouragement to continue?

Cap your first message at three or four sentences, tops. No need to waste all your witticisms in one shot.


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Urban somethings, take note: This tip is especially important for piquing the interest of that tattoo-riddled OKCupid user with a few too many Instagram profile pics. You see, in real-life pickup scenarios, hipsters are elusive creatures who spend hours exchanging information via eye-flashes and hair shakes with nary a word exchanged. Generally, this means you should include a query, or at least a comment that obviously begs for a response.

11 Online Dating First Message Examples That Get Responses

Sounds obvious, but you don't want to send a message so pithy and focused that the recipient is back at Square One trying to come up with a zingy response. Ask yourself, "If I received this message, could I come up with a few different ways to respond? One more uncharacteristically earnest tip: