Kids are weird and constantly amid crises. As a teacher, a number of difficult situations arise, because of this, teachers know how to improvise, problem-solve, and avert potential catastrophes. Three months off during the summer Dealing with students all day, they have to be.
Finding a patient person is harder and harder to come by these days. And it seems nearly impossible to find a patient, gay man for some reason. So I can't overstate how lucky you'd be to find someone who doesn't get riled up if they don't get their way immediately. It's nice to date someone who's in the loop and actually knows how the younger generation thinks. Teachers keep their judgments to themselves They don't shame the 14 year-old boy who is so clearly eating his buggers in the front row of their class.
But I think we all know. I mean, who among us didn't have at least one crush on one of our high school teachers growing up? Let's end with the obvious; teachers know how to properly teach you new life skills without making you feel like an idiot. If you want to keep learning throughout your life and don't you?
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They value education I think it's important to be with someone who fully grasps the role that having a solid education can play in our lives. They can problem-solve Kids are weird and constantly amid crises.
2. They’re knowledgeable
They have the summers and holidays off Three months off during the summer They keep their judgments to themselves Teachers keep their judgments to themselves Not saying it can't work, but I've never seen it happen. And if you're really in love surely you could wait a few more years. Well, that's definitely not the norm, though it's not "wrong" either. I guess it's just because of the fact that most relationships with those under 60 tend to be with people who are no more then 5 years apart in age, with even a gap that large not being that common. Just so that you are aware, if you click on the quote button on the top right of a persons post, it will add their post to your response and send them a message that you have responded.
It isn't compulsory or anything, but it makes it easier for you. I do not know the laws in Australia, but in the UK 17 is legally acceptable as long as they are not your teacher any more. So from my own personal perspective, it's nobody else's business if they don't like your relationship, although I would try and understand why some people may not like it. I suspect a lot of it comes down to the people who care about you simply being worried, rather than being petty or close minded.
If you haven't already, you might want to consider sitting the relevant people down and explaining your perspective. I doubt that'd change every bodies mind, but if people can see that you are being sincere and level headed about it all, then some may become more accepting. It's fine so long as they are your former not current teacher. Teachers aren't allowed to date students because it's an issue with favoritism, professionalism and power balance.
Its the same reason doctors, nurses and psychiatrists can't date their patients. I knew someone who date their teacher as soon as she wasn't his student anymore although he was 25 and she was TBH the age gap with you seems a bit large but I don't think it's wrong though I can see why someone might be concerned he is exploiting you not saying I think he is just that your family might.
DS when i was 16 i thought it was ok to hug my teacher but he told me its wrong so i knew then no to to be his gf.
15 Reasons to Date a Teacher
Probably because it could lead to an unfair advantage for the student. It is also very unprofessional. Since you graduated I see no problem with it now.
The reason you are probably getting stares is the massive age gap, if I had to take a guess. It's also possible most people might view you as some kind of gold digger or something like that. Since in the case of age gaps society tends to view money as the cause for marriage and not love.
High school teacher facing backlash for student-published dating guide
Yes, like Legion said, the primary problem with a student dating a teacher is that the teacher is in a position of authority and has a duty of care for students. In a relationship both parties should be equal, so starting from a point where one person is "in charge" can either negatively impact either the teaching environment if the student can't accept the authority of the teacher where the teacher is supposed to be in charge or the relationship environment if the student gives the teacher authority in the partnership.
Additionally authority can be abused especially in the situation where you are dealing with a young person who is not an adult and the student can be "groomed" or "coerced" into being in or even desiring a relationship with the teacher. There is also the matter of bias in grading a student's performance. A large age gap in particular where one person has only just reached adulthood can also be problematic.
You've just come from being taken care of as a child by your parents and you shouldn't expect or want your life with your partner to be the same - being taken care of as a child. He's going to be far more experienced in matters of day to day life and in many cases, it makes sense that he would be able to make the wiser decision.
This can be problematic as it may make it difficult for you to learn these things on your own and he may be unwilling to allow you to make decisions due to your inexperience. It may also be difficult for you to determine whether he's making a decision because it's an intelligent one or making a decision because it's what he prefers even though you should both have an equal say. Once again this comes back to the problem of one person being "in charge of the relationship" which isn't healthy.
Additionally the fact that two people in very distinct age brackets are at different life stages and may want to accomplish different things which can strain on a relationship. From what you've written it does come across like you have a problem by letting him be in control and putting his needs before your own though particularly in cases where he makes you uncomfortable and antagonises your family and a friends. To be honest, it's a very grey issue with solid arguments from both sides of the spectrum.
However, I fully understand there are also teachers who can fall in love with a student and just want a genuine relationship, and vice versa.
1. They’re communicators
It's a difficult subject. Since you're now 19 and left school, there is obviously no longer any issue what so ever. However, if you were dating while you were still in school, and he had that influence over you I dunno, as I said it's a grey issue worthy of further contemplation. The real problem is, it can be easily exploited by devious people. It's not rocket science that a person dating someone he's got authority over is frowned upon seeing the history of that. The age gap is something people will care about and if that's pure society or if biology comes into it is a discussion for another time.
However the biological bias there is that parents lose fertility with age as a security that they will be able to take care of their offspring until it grows up. Not really an issue these days since most manage to get into their 70's anyway. The thing is people are going to stare, people are going to think you're a gold digger or that he's a cradle robber because if we can't judge strangers we don't know, what else are we going to do? Who could even consider such a thing?
As a general rule, getting married just out of high school isn't a great idea, though that's not to say it never works. Yeah I agree, sounds like he has an exhibition fetish at the least, which he shouldn't force on you if you're not into that. He shouldn't be disrespecting your parents or making you uncomfortable if you don't want him to. That's not how partnerships work, you need to be equals in a marriage. You aren't a trophy and you shouldn't be treated like one. You being his wife gives him no right to humiliate you, and if he says otherwise he's full of shit.
You need to tell him to stop if he's doing something like that and you don't like it, and he needs to listen. Yeah, I am honestly surprised by the relatively warm reception this is getting. OP, I mean no offense, but this sounds like a really bad situation. You met him when you were a teenager in a period where he was an authority figure over you.
You'd known him for two years before you got married, during which you couldn't be the least bit romantically involved because he was teaching. Getting married to someone you've only known for two years is a pretty big deal and I'd automatically be a little questional about the decision regardless of extraneous factors. Given the complexity of this relationship and how young you are just sets off all kinds of warning signs. Not even to mention the strange thrill that he seems to be getting from feeling up his teenage wife in front of her family and strangers.
I have a friend who was in a similar situation, although it started when she was a bit younger than you were when you met this guy. She dated a guy in his mid 30s for a couple years, and while she thought it was perfectly fine for a while, she felt horribly manipulated and violated after. The fact that your teacher saw no problem marrying a student out of high school, completely ignores the worry of your friends and family and in fact seems to think that their concerns are an absolute joke really strikes me as bad news.
You're over 18 so it's your choice what you do with your life and I certainly don't expect you to change anything because a stranger on the internet thinks it sounds unhealthy, just saying that from what I'm hearing this isn't going to be the relationship that convinces me of how fine it is to date your teacher. More on that in the rest of the comment]. The fact that he's never been married and is probably happy as hell that a woman likes him like this, and that you rushed into this due to your fantasies of being a wife just And it's coming out of a place of desperation; again, he's just happy that a pretty female is infatuated with him, and you've been burned before so you're looking for someone "not like other guys" and he happens to fit the bill.
The other is the right person at the right time For anyone that's ever been in a relationship knows that that wuvvy-duvvy cherubs and rainbows honeymoon period you're going through right now doesn't last very long, and if you two aren't ready for the hardships of maintaining a serious life partnership, it can leave major emotional scars that are going to stick with you It's okay to fuck up and bump your head every once in a while, but if you can avoid trainwrecks, it's better to pull yourself a Neo and bullet-time outta harms way I don't know the two of you so I could be entirely off with all of this, but in my humble opinion that you're free to listen to or dismiss however you like If you really, REALLY believe in your heart of hearts this can work, then have a serious heart-to-heart sitdown with him and just go over what the two of you want out of this relationship and your gameplan on how to make it work.
Invest a little in some couples counseling and just keep being proactive into making sure this is how you want your lives to go. It's better to question early and get a definitive answer now than to find out you weren't right for each other once it's too late. Also please please please whatever you do don't rush into having children. I've seen so many people try to have children when they were having trouble because they thought it would make their relationship stronger.
It never does, it usually just winds up making babies who can't be properly cared for. Plus, if you had a baby right now your husband would be well into in his 60s when it turned