The first date is where the fun really begins, but even for the most confident amongst us, meeting someone for the first time can be nerve-wracking. And, for extra measure, make sure you tell at least one friend or family member who you are meeting, where you are going and what time you expect to return — just so they know.
Cafes make for great first date venues; a cup of coffee allows for a short encounter or a longer meeting, depending on how well you hit it off! The trick is to get the balance right. One way to reduce the chance of a good date is to turn up flustered, grouchy and wracked with guilt. The first date is all about enjoying the company of someone new and intriguing, so aim to avoid provoking political debates and stories about past relationships.
10 (actually useful) first date tips: advice from the experts
Dating should be fun, so try to keep the conversation light and upbeat with stories and questions. The ultimate in first date tips — try to have fun. If you date has taken time to choose the venue, compliment something about it such as the convenient location. Take things at your pace.
Eliminate pre-date nerves
If the other person is a good match for you, then they will not only understand your pace, but will often mirror it! Always talk to the other person by telephone at least once before agreeing to meet for your first date. Ask for a photo if they didn't provide one in their profile so that you can be assured of meeting the right person.
Be on the lookout for inconsistencies in their history or any stories they tell you of their life, background, or growing up.
Tips for Safe Online Dating
Ask informative questions of the other person to ensure they match what and who they say they are in their profile. Don't feel the need to give out your phone number if you're not comfortable doing so. Instead, ask for theirs and remember to put in the code for blocking caller ID before making the call. There's no need to be paranoid about your privacy, but at the same time, it is wise to take simple precautions that will ensure you remain safe until you are completely comfortable. Some people also use a cell phone or even a public pay phone to ensure their potential match can't get their home telephone number.
Do what feels best and right for you. Remember, you don't have to meet everyone you communicate with online. Some people will obviously not be right for you and you can politely say so before ever progressing to a phone call or first date. Online dating empowers you to make choices that are right for you. So feel free to make those choices, even if you are typically unuse to doing so. First Dates Should Be in Public This is a no-brainer, but sometimes, even the obvious needs to be said.
Never agree to meet at the other person's place or to pick them up. Agree to meet in a public place. Most people find a restaurant is ideal, as it gives you both something else to concentrate on from time to time to break up the awkward moments. It also ensures that both parties are on their best behavior, while still allowing you the opportunity to see how your match behaves in a public situation.
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Be an astute observer during that first date, and don't drink too much if you drink at all. The purpose of a first date is to not only see if there is a mutual attraction, but to learn more about the other person in their own words and see how they communicate their intentions non-verbally. By paying attention to all of these cues and information, you will learn a lot more about your match.
If you need to travel to another location on the date, always take your own car or transportation. Always arrange for backup transportation e. Let a friend or two know that you'll be out on a date and if possible, have your cell phone with you at all times, on and charged. If you don't own a cell phone, ask to borrow a friend's for the evening, or purchase an inexpensive pay-as-go type from your local Wal-Mart or Best Buy.
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You hope these are mostly unnecessary precautions, but better safe than sorry. Be on the Lookout for Red Flags Not everyone has similar morals or outlooks on life as you do. Some folks can do a pretty good job at hiding their true agenda, even if you've followed most of these tips. First dates and second dates and even third dates are for people to be on their best behavior, so you may not always see the "true self" behind the person you're sitting across from.
Sometimes, though, people can't be on their good behavior for that long and signs begin to appear. Avoids answering directly to questions, especially those about issues that are important to you. It's okay if people joke about their answer, but eventually they need to get around to answering the question or explain why they feel uncomfortable doing so.
Demeaning or disrespectful comments about you or other people. How your match treats others can be a telling sign into their future behaviors. Inconsistent information about any basics, especially anything within their profile. This especially includes marital status, children, employment, where they are living, but also things such as age, appearance, education, career or the like Is nothing like the way they describe themselves in their online profile. Physically inappropriate or unwanted behavior e. Pushes quickly to meet in person.
Be Sexually Responsible Inevitably, some online dating is going to lead to a sexual relationship. This is not the time to start being coy.
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Know your partners' sexual background by asking direct, frank questions about the number of partners he or she has been with, whether protection was always used, how well they knew the people was it mostly serious relationships or just one night flings? Yes, it's not easy to talk about these sorts of things, but it's important to do so before your first night in bed. When in doubt, definitely use a condom. Long-Distance Dating If you've made the decision to date long-distance, make a note of it in your profile.
Since travel is usually expensive for most people, be realistic about your ability to see the other person. Ensure you feel completely comfortable with the other person before making your first trip to see them. If possible, make all of your travel plans yourself and arrange to stay at a hotel.