Dating while in military

If your friends think you are spending too much time together, just tell them about deployment.

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This is no longer true in most cases but it is especially tough in the military community. At lower ranks, military service members often earn less than a civilian. Military pay can be disappointingly unpredictable for the first few months. There is nothing wrong with the significant other splitting bills or helping to pay for things. They could be in formation, in the field, or waiting in line to use the phone. Yes, the military does that! During boot camp and deployments, I wrote letters almost every day.

Time spent waiting for someone else to talk first is time wasted.

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Some long distance couples alternate visits to balance time off work and the cost of plane tickets. Thanks so much for doing it!

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Another super helpful post! Unfortunately, so many of them are now already ended because they could not handle the distance that came along with it sometimes. I do agree with some points out of this. I have been married to my service man for over a year now and it is the most humbling spot I have had to be in. There are always marriages that fall prey to infidelity, neglect, and abuse. The issues being an active duty married couple bring are unique and extra challenging.

You lose freedom in order to fight for freedom. Thankfully we are child free otherwise it would be even more terrible to put up with.

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Though I hate every ounce of being a military wife, I decided to commit to my marriage and my husband and sacrifice now so we can have a happy retirement later. You win some and lose some. Best wishes all military spouses out there. I thought it was just deployments and some weekends here and there, but not THIS. My family is not supportive of this relationship at all either, so it kinda adds salt to the wound.

Dedicated to your stories and ideas.

But I hope above all I can be resilient—I thought I was before taking this relationship on, in fact life was fantastic. I just have to be more pro active in muting all the negative emotion. Anyway, I think my greatest crime so far has been having unrealistic expectations and not appreciating what he does more. My husband was my 1st real relationship too at How did you cope with being away from each other for so long? And how did you guys communicate?

You will learn to accept change better than anyone you know because nothing, nothing can be taken for granted or guaranteed. The military owns your significant other. They are bound to follow orders or receive consequences for noncompliance. Tell them you love them and that everything they do will bring the two of you closer together and to where you truly want to be soon enough.

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For someone who thrives in the chillier climates up north due to being from Massachusetts, my boyfriend constantly rues the heat and humidity of coastal North Carolina. So all I can do is dote on him when he gets off work on a particularly blistering day, hand him a cool beer and offer to take off his boots for him.

Otherwise, just go with the flow; no one knows your relationship better than the two of you. Some people will think this is because you are young, foolish, and overeager.


  • my son is dating a bisexual girl!
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The opposite is true; it is because you will likely have to come to grips with important parts of life sooner than others your age. A few more like a lot have become pregnant, but mostly they work their part-time jobs, go drinking on the weekends, and spend too much time on Facebook. A long-distance relationship will teach you just how patient you can really be. When it comes to technology, we expect it to work — and when something as important as seeing the love of our life for a few moments for the first time in weeks gets ruined because of it, there are very few things that can incense us so quickly.

Knowing what your service member has sacrificed to be where they are will only make overhearing someone bashing the military worse. It may come with a heightened sense of patriotism, too, when you begin your relationship with a military member, or it may completely ruin it altogether — it varies from person to person.

Trying to plan around his schedule often seems like a vain endeavor. This may only apply to those who live with their military member, but it should be mentioned at least. When they have to wake up at 4: Trying to get on base without an ID is a nearly impossible feat, and showing up late will often be preferable to showing up not appropriately attired — so give them a break if they rouse you from slumber to help find something they need.