When you are breaking up with someone, for whatever reason, the best approach is to treat the other person the same way you would want to be treated. Still, one thing is for sure. No matter how hard you try to be kind, the fact that you want to break up is going to hurt the other person. This is not something to do over the phone, via text messaging, social media, or email.
How to Break Up- Advice to win you Respect
Consider the time and location. Be courageous and respectful and have your conversation in person and in private. Before you do anything, make sure you really do want to break up.
Sometimes it feels easier to run from the relationship, when there may be a great lesson to learn from a challenging situation. You might want to write down some of your thoughts beforehand. Breaking up is hard. Just listen to Kate, who said: I just broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months last week.
He never came to see me. Instead of breaking it off and trying to heal myself like a normal person, I would do just about anything to keep the relationship going. I know God is the only one who can fill the hole in my heart. Do you have any tips on how to break up with someone in a healthy and respectful way? Please comment with your ideas in the discussion.
I was making huge strides, i got a new job, was going to the gym, losing weight and starting to feel better about myself than I had in years.
How to Break Up
I jumped from being married to a narcissist to meeting this guy two weeks after our seperation amd have been in this tomultious, unhealthy roller coaster ride of a relationship on and off for 5 years. Take time to consider your feelings and the reasons for your decision. Be true to yourself. Even if the other person might be hurt by your decision, it's OK to do what's right for you. You just need to do it in a sensitive way.
Think about what you'll say and how the other person might react.
How to Break Up Respectfully
Will your BF or GF be surprised? Thinking about the other person's point of view and feelings can help you be sensitive. It also helps you prepare. Lose his or her temper? How will you deal with that kind of reaction? Be honest — but not brutal. Then say why you want to move on. Say it in person. You've shared a lot with each other. Respect that and show your good qualities by breaking up in person. If you live far away, try to video chat or at least make a phone call. Breaking up through texting or Facebook may seem easy.
But think about how you'd feel if your BF or GF did that to you — and what your friends would say about that person's character! If it helps, confide in someone you trust. But be sure the person you confide in can keep it private until you have your actual break-up conversation with your BF or GF. That's one reason why parents, older sisters or brothers, and other adults can be great to talk to. They're not going to blab or let it slip out accidentally.
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Don't avoid the other person or the conversation you need to have. Dragging things out makes it harder in the long run — for you and your BF or GF. Plus, when people put things off, information can leak out anyway.
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Don't rush into a difficult conversation without thinking it through. You may say things you regret. Speak about your ex or soon-to-be ex with respect. Be careful not to gossip or badmouth him or her. Think about how you'd feel. Lombardo recommends pursuing the things you love and focusing on your goals. Try volunteering, a new hobby or taking a course.
After the hurt of breaking up, Jessica was pleased to feel an enormous sense of relief. She made the right choice. For Erin, lessons learned enabled her to break off another not-quite-right relationship a lot sooner. And the difference, she says, was fewer hurt feelings all around. Originally published June ; Updated November