They might get overlooked for men with more bravado and better physiques. This all made them more interesting to me. They had regular jobs — in real estate, in business, at a bank, etc. They wore regular clothes — one guy had stitched jeans very , one wore a convincing fake leather jacket yes, I touched it , some wore blazers, one a full suit he came straight from work. One was really tall. One was really short. They talked about regular things — hobbies, their jobs, where they grew up.
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There was conversation about eating healthy, not wanting kids, how East Coast cities are so close in proximity compared to Southern cities, how the gym is a great place to meet people because everyone is high on endorphins. We talked about how great the city we live in is. One guy liked country dancing. One guy asked me to describe my greatest success at work. I believe in changing your lifestyle. A couple of the guys wore so much cologne that I could smell it on me while driving home the smell lingered after I shook their hands.
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Overall, it felt like a whirlwind. To talk to date after date, to hear and absorb so much information… it was confusing. Despite the confusion, one thought resonated clearly above everything else: This might sound obvious, but let me explain. When your heart gets broken several times over, and you spend a couple of years vigilantly detached from romantic intimacy for the sake of self-preservation, your mind starts imagining meaningful romance as a complicated thing.
It seems hard and weird and too much trouble. It becomes something for everyone else. You see friends get married, stay married, and build long-lasting relationships while you tag along as a third wheel. When you see your path ahead of you, you see yourself in it alone.
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And you settle into it because the alternative seems too difficult. But then there I was, sitting in a row of women who had also had their hearts broken, talking to men who had also had their hearts broken, and realizing that my fears and pains were average. My situation was average. We were all sitting there, talking, sharing… the walking wounded… trying to make a connection.
The humanness of it was palpable, and the whole thing actually quite simple. When it was over, the guys lingered, hoping some of the women would stay. I noticed that none of them were lingering near me; I also noticed feeling relief about that.
Most of the women left. Two women I chatted with before the event had parked their car far away and asked me if I could give them a ride.
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We left together, talking about the men, sharing our dating stories and laughing. We all thought none of the men felt special. We all thought the same guy was creepy. We all heard different things from different guys and were surprised at the different sides they showed to each of us.
I asked my new friends if they were dating online. After tonight, I understand why. Online dating is about quantity. Speed dating is about more about quality. Sure, you only get five minutes, but the men do too, which means you get four minutes and 55 seconds more of their time than you might get on a website.
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It honestly seems like a statistical miracle that anyone would meet the right person either way. But then again, it seems like a miracle that anyone finds true love at all. After I dropped off my new friends, I sat still for a moment in my car. I was supposed go online and select my favorite men so I could get my matches in the morning, but I decided against it. It was early enough for me to drive home and write this before going to bed.
That was something to look forward to. That made none of the evening a waste of time. I drove home singing along at the top of my lungs. This is taking longer than usual. Want to wait a bit more, or reload the game? Oops, something went wrong. Oops, something went wrong while loading your game. Speed Dating 1 Enable Flash and Play. This game only works on your computer. The game is now in your favorites! You need to log in to add this game to your faves.
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