How to avoid dating a married man

It's Almost Always a Hurtful Affair. Why Go After a Married Man? Griffith also identifies poor self-esteem and a fear of commitment as characteristics common to women who choose married men. Discover your motivation and work on your inner issues so an available man is more appealing to you than the unavailable married man. If he has kids, they are likely to resent you because you broke up their home, and his wife is not likely to welcome you with open arms and a loving smile.

You are doomed to live with the consequences of the affair if you marry him, and your reputation with family, friends and co-workers could suffer. A realistic look at your future could suddenly look far less rosy and attractive. Your outlook and self-esteem could take a more positive turn if you take a realistic look at what you have to offer a life partner. Be clear about the information you discover about yourself and include parts of that information in a profile on a dating site, specifying that you seek only single men.

The number of responses you get should help you see that your prospects for a romantic relationship are not limited to a man who will probably never be yours, or if he is, he will be so encumbered with baggage that you have no chance for happiness. If she seems to only be doing it because he convinced her, then bow out. It really won't be worth the explosive emotions that are bound to bubble up.

Sometimes a couple will be uninterested in non-monogamy until someone hot shows up, then magically the issue comes up. Is this the case for the married guy that you're dating?

Dating a Married Man ? Read this To Know the Complications

If so, this might spell trouble. He could be uninterested in actually leading a life of open relationships, and more interesting in jumping ship to another woman. You might be okay with this, but keep in mind that you could end up being the "home-wrecker" unintentionally. Has this guy's marriage really evolved to the point where it can handle new people? Is he making a mature decision to open the relationship up to other intimate connections? Does he see you as an addition to an already great relationship? Or does he have an immature view of the situation, and is only looking for something new and exciting because he's bored of his wife?

If he's just looking for adventure and wants to get away from the old battle ax, his wife won't take too kindly to this.

Discover Your Motivation

Drama is bound to happen. On the other hand, if the idea of having an open relationship is noting new to them and it was established from the beginning of their marriage, then your presence is much more likely to be welcome. This is the sort of situation where you can date a married man successfully and his wife will even be happy for you. You might think it would make sense for him to look outside his marriage for fulfillment if his wife doesn't do it for him, but this is actually a recipe for trouble. Don't let yourself be the band-aid for their marital problems.

Again, the ideal situation is that you're becoming part of a mature and well-established relationship. Unfortunately, many people who decide to have an open relationship do so for the wrong reasons. For example, they may decide to be non-monogamous as a response to cheating in the marriage, instead of addressing the actual root cause of the lies and deception. Don't get involved in this kind of circus.

Both you and the married guy might be tempted to compartmentalize your relationship, but the truth is that there's no way he can keep you completely separate from the rest of his life. Consider how your relationship will affect his marriage, his children, and both of your everyday lives in general. If you response to this idea is, "I don't care," then you're probably not mature enough to get into a relationship with a married man who already established a life with someone else. Are you possessive and jealous?

Are you going to attempt to compete with his wife and steal him away?

5 signs married man is falling in love with you

Does the fact that you're not his "main woman" wear away at your ego? If so, do yourself a favor and don't date a married man.


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Unless you want your life to turn into a soap opera, it's better to focus on single men until you are able to exist in an open relationship without your insecurities rearing their ugly heads. Try practicing ethical polyamory with people who aren't married or in serious relationships while you get over these problems; you will cause less damage.

Ultimately, if you are dating a married man, chances are low that you will be his first priority. Recognize this and be willing to let things go if he can't give you the attention that you need. Understand that if he has a wife and family, getting dramatic and clingy will affect more than just the guy that you're dating.

In fact, this is a pretty good argument for avoiding dating a married man altogether.


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If you want to have a long-term relationship and aren't willing to basically form a triangle with his wife and become part of the family, your relationship with him will only be able to go so far. Clearly you're interested in knowing how to date a married man for a reason. Maybe this is your first time in a situation like this, or maybe this is something that you've done before. If you find yourself falling into these scenarios over and over again against your will, take a break from dating for awhile and consider some hard self-reflection.

Is there something about unavailable men that turns you on? Do you like competing with other women and feeling like you stole their man? Does it feed your ego? This is a huge problem. Besides making enemies of perfectly innocent women who were just trying to have a happy marriage, you are putting yourself into very negative patterns filled with pain and drama. Don't you think you deserve better than that? While dating a married man isn't wrong per se, as long as his wife knows, most of the time this won't be the case.

Know how to smell trouble and don't let a guy convince you to help him cheat. Your relationship prospects will be much better if you just find a guy who isn't already taken. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

I am so in love with a married man. He is very cool and nice and sweet he really is a husband material unfortunately he found out that his wife is having an affair and this is before we have met. I love him so much i want to help him even if it means to fix his marriage. We love each other so much but he cant just be with me and will never be mine. He rather live with his wife than breaking his children's hearts. I understand and get his point.

8 Reasons to Avoid Dating a Married Man

I just dont know how far we can go but one thing is for sure it is not that far. Had a good relationship n love the guy,but the real question is for how long will i keep it a secret. How to date a married man in the ethical way? You really try to push it-. So what if you felt in love with a married man unintentionally? No matter what if - the only question here is are you strong enough to be able to get yourself out of the situation?

Reminder Successfully Set!

Other than that there are consequences for dating married man, bad karma and it's bad all over from all different angles. Learn to live with "You can't always have what you want" so learn to live with disappointment - but it's part of life. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.

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