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Marriage, Not Dating
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Marriage, Not Dating Episode 1
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Traditionally, in the case of a formal engagement, it has been perceived that it is the role of a male to actively "court" or "woo" a female, thus encouraging her to understand him and her receptiveness to a proposal of marriage. The average duration of courtship varies considerably throughout the world.
Furthermore, there is vast individual variation between couples. Courtship may be completely omitted, as in cases of some arranged marriages where the couple do not meet before the wedding. In the United Kingdom , a poll of 3,  engaged or married couples resulted in an average duration between first meeting and accepted proposal of marriage of 2 years and 11 months,   with the women feeling ready to accept at an average of 2 years and 7 months.
The date is fairly casual in most European-influenced cultures, but in some traditional societies, courtship is a highly structured activity, with very specific formal rules. In some societies, the parents or community propose potential partners and then allow limited dating to determine whether the parties are suited. Courtship in the Philippines is one known complex form of courtship. Unlike what is regularly seen in other societies, it takes a far more subdued and indirect approach. It is common to see the male showing off by sending love letters and love poems, singing romantic songs, and buying gifts for the female.
The parents are also seen as part of the courtship practice, as their approval is commonly needed before courtship may begin or before the female gives the male an answer to his advances. In more closed societies, courtship is virtually eliminated altogether by the practice of arranged marriages  in which partners are chosen for young people, typically by their parents. Forbidding experimental and serial courtship and sanctioning only arranged matches is partly a means of guarding the chastity of young people and partly a matter of furthering family interests, which, in such cultures, may be considered more important than individual romantic preferences.
Throughout history, courtship has often included traditions such as exchanging valentines , written correspondence which was facilitated by the creation of the postal service in the nineteenth century , and similar communication-based courting. In the earlier s, young adults were expected to court with the intention of finding a marriage partner, rather than for social reasons. In more traditional forms of Christianity, this concept of courtship has been retained, with John Piper defining courtship and distinguishing this concept from dating, stating that: Courtship ordinarily begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman's father, and then conducts his relationship with the woman under the authority of her father, family, or church, whichever is most appropriate.
Courtship always has marriage as its direct goal Dating, a more modern approach, begins when either the man or the woman initiates a more-than-friends relationship with the other, and then they conduct that relationship outside of any oversight or authority. Dating may or may not have marriage as its goal. Christian minister Patricia Bootsma delineates this distinction, writing that in contrast to the modern conception of dating, in "courtship, time together in groups with family or friends is encouraged, and there is oversight by and accountability to parents or mentors".
In America, in the s, the phrase "date" was most closely associated with prostitution. However, by the Jazz Age of the s, dating for fun was becoming a cultural expectation, and by the s, it was assumed that any popular young person would have lots of dates.
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This form of dating, though, was usually more chaste than is seen today, since premarital sex was not considered the norm. Courtship is used by a number of theorists to explain gendering processes and sexual identity. Scientific research into courtship began in the s after which time academic researchers started to generate theories about modern dating practices and norms. Both Moore and Perper found that, contrary to popular beliefs, courtship is normally triggered and controlled by women,   driven mainly by non-verbal behaviours to which men respond.
This is generally supported by other theorists who specialise in the study of body language. Courtship in Australia is generally reserved to those with religious affiliation. Modern western culture has taken over, leading to more and more people committing to partnerships through dating. Before entering marriage, a lot of Australian couples like to live with each other to get an idea of what married life would be like.
This would not happen in a courtship as both people vow to chastity and often like to keep a chaperone around. As technology progressed the dating world followed. In a Time-line by Metro, a statistic match-making business opened in , the first reality TV dating show was developed in and by the s the public was introduced to video dating.
The process of elimination was significant because now the viewer was able hear their voice, see their face and watch their body language to determine a physical attraction to the candidates.