He acts like the perfect boyfriend with me, but still no commitment. I no longer know if I really am helping him to change by staying close or not. I want to be there for him, in sickness and health, like he is for me. I expected him to tell me how much he was touched, that it would make him realize what he has.
No contact for 7 days. Should I follow through the whole week or talk again tomorrow? I plan on bringing my A-game that night. Is weekend enough or should I really push it without feeling bad doing so. I feel he deserves me giving him a hard time for once! Is it not obvious that I have to spell it out and answer? But this is making me unhappy. I know he loves me deeply, but I no longer am sure that he is in love with me.
It makes me feel rejected and makes me want to take my distance for real and not just to get him back or get him to change. What I mean by being ready to lose somebody, is that you have to set your standards and be clear what your deal breakers are and what things you can forgive. I figured its best to tell my story here for advice. Alright so I was my boyfriend for over a year. We are in our late 20s and yes still live at home!
Things were amazing between us until March. He grew distant and cold towards me for about a week, and then broke up with me. Since the break up I went into 25 day NC. He never contacted me. He joined a gym and sports team. Which made me feel maybe he just needed space from me because we practically lived together at his house.
Anyways after the NC period I texted him on his happy birthday. Then he ended up texting me about bumping into someone I know, and we had a nice conversation. He even asked to go over and have sangria but I was busy. He initiated another meet up but then bailed a minute after suggesting it. I was upset about it because I was excited to see him. He ended up saying he made plans with a girl instead.
I got jealous and freaked out. Asked if it was a date and who she was etc. I ended up finding out who she was. His best friend Aaron has a girlfriend named Carly. Also, he did not mention to Aaron or any of his other friends he hung put with Amy although Amy is friends with his friends. I never met her. I did meet up with him the next week I initiated it. Although I intended on sleeping on the couch I ended up in his bed and we slept together. I left for work the next morning and that night he invited me over with his 2 friends.
One of the friends was Amy! She was drunk and was going to walk with his other friend to sleep at their house. I offered to drive them but she was like no you stay. I stayed at my Exes, and well slept with him again. I was sober and I just felt used. He basically told me to leave the next morning even though we had the day off. I felt good because it seemed Amy was not a threat. However, a week later last week I find out she spent 2 nights friday and Saturday so the whole weekend at his place.
I ended up meeting my ex 2 days after that and sadly spent the night again. But saw evidence in his garbage that he slept with someone. My guess is obviously Amy. However he did not know that she spent Saturday night too. I saw him again this week 2 days ago , and well hooked up with him again. It was really good between us but as usual he did not cuddle me and I left the next morning. I only see him later, and I always leave in the morning. Unlike her who seems to be allowed stay the next day.
He is clearly messaging her more than me. Also, he is hiding his meet ups with Amy from his friends but tells them when he hangs out with me. I doubt he wants anything serious with her, and well I doubt he is going to parade her in front of his friends. Especially his best friend Aaron. On top of it, he lives with his mom!
His mom can clearly see he is juggling the 2 of us. Should I continue seeing him and not sleep with him? This situation seems hopeless because even if I cut him off from sex he is clearly getting it from Amy. Since my last comment, my ex invited me to a movie 2 weeks ago but he did not ask me to spend the night. It was super late at night and a relative was staying the week so maybe it was because of that? That hurt and I asked if there was an issue or problem between us. After this conversation he ignored my texts. I was confused because he claimed we were cool.
I tried days later. He knows he can get away with it too because he knows he has me wrapped around his finger. I wanted to show him this is not the case. I know it was dramatic but I needed to get his attention…. I asked him what he expected from me. This conversation happened 5 days ago. I did text him today to see if we could do something this week. But I would like to have successful text conversation and hang outs. What do you suggest I do to raise my value in his eyes and make him want to talk and see me? I also snuck a peek at his phone quickly last time I was over and saw they message constantly super flirty, and well he stopped being flirty with me the moment she came into the picture.
I have a feeling he wants to commit to Amy and is scared to tell me. It will give me a fresh start. See if he initiates and actually cares about me enough to want to see me and know whats going on in my life. Any other suggestions to help my case when he practically has a new girlfriend? The truh is, he would likely not care or not notice if you nc because he has a new girl..
O but another event has happened. I wasnt sure what to say. But I simply said I know its ok. And I questioned why all of a sudden he is having this talk with me in the back of my mind I thought maybe he wants to commit to Amy. I did in the past because sex is great. He seemed to have more in his mind. Not knowing how to bring her up. Guilty that he would still sleep with me even though they are clearly something. When Wednesday happened I thought we were on the road to being back together. Now Sunday night he is friend zoning me. I have no idea how to proceed. Do I even have a chance of getting him back?
What can I do to help my chances? I think you became too available.. Try to do a mini nc, like nc and then after that do a jealousy moves as well and continue to do what you started in your first nc to improve yourself. More has happened since the softball night Wednesday. I went to his place Friday after work.
We made the plans at the beginning of the week. He was in a weird mood. But then never got up to do it. Ok get Sangria stuff? No not in the mood. It was not great. Life is so hard right now. Clearly he made me leave so he could have her over. Wednesday was soooo great now this. It was always pretty obvious. However, he actually invited me to his first ever softball match yesterday. Then we went to bed. I was going to be a tease but he did not try anything.
He kissed it when he got up. Why the sudden sweet affections? Plus why did you not want to have sex? I ran into my ex and we had a few too many drinks…flirtation was running rampant and he ended up kissing me…and things went a little further than they should have. Hi Chris, I have known my ex bf for 6 years. We were together for 3 years and we broke up in After we broke up, we still kept in touch and was sleeping with each other. How should I move on from here? We care for each other and our dynamics is great. I can see that he is insecure and takes his cues from me eventhough he is 35 years old,owns his own company, very sociable and seems very confident.
He has however become a fatter than he was 6 years ago. I am not sure if that plays a part in him being insecure eventhough he acts like he doesnt care. I do know that he is getting to know women from okcupid and Tinder but many rejected him. I was also thinking of letting him know that I would only sleep with him he was in a committed relationship with me but he seems to have withdrawn a bit because of work related stress and mental torture as he would call it so I am giving him space.
I was hoping you could advise me Chris. I do want him back. I just want to know how to move on from here? He still wants me to sleep over and do things with him max twice a week no sex involved of course. I want him to be commited to me. Be more busy with your own life.. Hi, I am not giving him any benefits.
The No Contact Rule: Everything You Need To Know
We just hang out and we havent been sexual for almost 2 months. So he asked what I was up to and i told him that my friend was having a party this weekend and i accidentally invited him! I was with my ex bf who broke up with me after things got kind of serious about 3 weeks ago and things got pretty hot and heavy. Now I am going to see him again this week and I was just wondering if it would be too much to sleep with him? Just curious as to what I should do because I have no idea what he wants. When he first started dating me he did SOOO many romantic things and made it pretty clear he wanted me both physically and emotionally.
The one thing I will say that kind of hinted he missed me was that he had kept the bottle of champagne he bought me for my birthday and it was still in his fridge, unopened.. No idea what I should do. I had sex with my boyfriend while we are broken up. Since then I was always the one initiating contact, telling him I miss him, love him, etc. He tells me he loves me too, is still in love with me, etc, but just does not want to be with me right now.
I started the NC for 30 days. What do you think about the situation, and do you think NC will be effective? I loved his kids and gave then structure and security like my daughter had! If he was to drunk to take them to school I did! Even said he was jealous that I was doing so great cause he moved back to his moms! I took him back! He was hired to help open a new restaurant and again still drinking to excess every night! Not a seeing his phone but showing up at my house at 2,3,4 am drunk!
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He asked me to marry him without a ring! My family and friends hate u! Him and my mom get jnti because of him hitting me in the past and my mom hits him a few times which he said he deserved but my mom kept provoking a fight and then he ends up hitting my mom. He calls around 5: I was posers but I picked up the kids!
He wrecked his car driving drunk home from the bar learlier that month hit out and ran and is still making 2 car payments cause they could not locate him fur the police report! Ok , thanksgiving was great , had it at my house with both families , my family was my aunt and my daughter but his whole family was there! My aunt in Chicago is like my mom and she cannot stand him. She is coming to visit and I try to stand my ground with her telling her that we are working in things and that he is treating me better!
She does not wAnt him around for her visit! He freaks out tells me I let other people run my life and we break up for a week! During that time he tries to quit smoking and us taking chantix. He goes out kind night loses his phone and can not remember anything. A few dats later I get a call from a mutual friend and she tells me he showed up at another friends house freaked out on that guys girlfriend hit her and trashed their house and tipped over his friends motorcycle.
I told him he was gonna to end up cheating in me with a girl he sells a car to then he said the dealership made him sign something stating that he would not fraternize with customers! I said fine but we are fine but I will be ther for u to support u through aa ,I told him I was tired and my daughter was home and I have school and work in the morning and he left! Yeah right this man does not plan a fuvking thing ever more than 3 days in advance!
Ok so we work in things. Yeah , I was! Right , he loves attention!
So he calls me in Monday mar 2 cause he wants to see me this week to talk. He asks if he can see me for my bday mar 4 th , I said fine. The next day we both took off work and spent the day together it was really nice even had a nice weekend! That mon mar 9 he was gonna come by to bring me cigs , he said if be sleeping but I told him to wake me up. I go fine stairs to lick my door and I see the cigs I text him an apology , the next day he blocks my number and is seeing a new girl!
Then callsme Friday mar 13th cause he wants to talk. I told him he could come get my house key and that he could stay the night cause he was moving that weekend. He comes to get the key but ends up storming out cause he said I was flirting with a customer. The new girl helps him move and he tags her in FB. I wait a few days and I text him to ask how the move went and who his new friend is he lies and says what new friend? Then he calls and says he misses me and that he does not as want that girl. I had FB messages her every time he came over and we had sex so she knew what a dog and a liar he is.
Why would I want him back after all of this! Ther is something wrong with me I know! My name is Mickala. I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years on Feb 28, Everything I thought was going fine as long as he was messaging and texting me all the time every time he got on his phone or computer. It is only now that I am typing this that I realize how bad it was. I used the excuse its because of the long distance. But really it seems its my insecurity. As much as I hate to admit it. Then I thought he would understand if he truly loves me.
Want to add to the discussion?
But now that I think about it, I believe that it is selfish and unsatisfying. Well needless to say he stopped contacting me all of a sudden. Of course I made the enormous mistake of contacting him constantly to find out what was wrong. Not realizing I was making a horrible situation even worse. After reading and making analysis I ruined chances of us ever getting back together.
Once again being devastated. The feelings that I developed for this man were there because of my desperate attempt to be loved and as well as the convenience and because of the way he came to me. I did not want to let go because I somehow had it set in my mind that he was the man of my dreams and I was going to marry him. Now to get these crazy ideas and him out of my head!! I am still crazy obsessed with him!! I am a troubled romantic. Hi Pat, how are you getting by? Then wife texts me! We work together, but he is assigned to the project and he comes to the office times in a week. We Break up weeks ago.
Our relationship ended for misunderstandings. However, we spent good time together, both of us were happy. Even, i ended the relationship, i want to write him. After a week of break up he wrote me whether i am fine, i replied cold answers. After this conversation, should i write? It is almost a month we are not talking. I was married to the man 18 years. Had a business with him and all of a sudden he start the gym and steriods fix after that he need some time.
He filed for divorce because I stayed with the business. I need advice i was in a relationship with my ex boyfriend for 7 Months thing went so great for us but he just ended it because he couldnt accept my daughter and it was hard for me and he blocked me for about 2 to 3 days and afyer i got a hold of him i told him to unblock me we talked texted every 3 days a week and started talking everyday through text messages or phone calls and after about a week or two of are break up he found a new girl i was crying upset since he moved on so quickly.
My ex broke up with me over a few agruements. We both were under so much pressure and stress due to he did sickness and me trying to make more positive changes in my living arrangements. We been together for two years almost he is a stubborn type of man and hidesalot of his feelings once he get upset and offten shut down.. Its been a Lil over a month since our break up. I never completely stop contacting him but I cut back on reaching out to make peace to maybe texting him once every 2 weeks. I know the love was real what should I do now? And is it to late to start no contact on him since we have already been broken up 45 days now.
He message me that he is not going to talk with me. I got angry and messaged him this and that. I want him back. Would this rule work with him? I am deeply in love with him Please help me. My wife left me for another woman a year ago, since then we have gotten back together 3 times but shes left each time to be with someone else, now she moved out of state to be with an ex from 5 years ago, is it too late to do the no contact?
We were still texting after I broke up with him. I think the idea is to finish the no contact time then make your move with a carefree but friendly text out of the blue like hey you crossed my mind, hope things are good with you. Leave it open for a response but not questioning. He says that to get a reaction out of you. Which mea s he won that one. Just keep the NC rule. They gave me a lot of hope when my heart was so broken. Best of luck to you! The first step in finding happiness is finding yourself.
You cant find yourself if you constantly think about him and worry about what hes doing. The only way to win is to not talk to him. If it was meant to be then it will find a way.
I have been with her4years. Then I left school in febrary 29 it is second last date of febrary. After15minutes I was finding her wen she is in her class she saw me Then she started to ignore me and again iam in no contact. I took mobile and put a coment on youtube and said averything that what I did when I met her in 19th May to breakup expert and he said she is giving u hot and cold give her45day of no contact45day sounds good he said. Again I will meet her at after four month. Will she come back to me. What if I accidentally show desperate and needy in front of my girlfriend?
I even tell her about the no contact rule. What can I do to save this relationship? The best time to start was yesterday. The worst time to start is tomorrow. After the third week of not talking to you, He will start missing you. Then, and only then, do you have control over the situation.
NEVER tell yourself you cannot do something. If you think you can, then you will. I did this and it worked to my advantage. You will realize things about yourself you never realized and these things will make you a stronger person. And your mind will naturally step away from thinking about him. It really is as easy as simply not talking to him. I just finished week 6, never been happier. First 3 weeks were the hardest. But now, I attract happiness. Happiness attracts good people. Your vibe attracts your tribe. My bf 4 16mos broke up wit me but started txting me again..
The No Contact Rule: Andreah January 8, , 1: Bellamy January 4, , Lisa December 1, , 3: Lisa August 21, , 1: Jae September 8, , Dimitris August 15, , 5: Myrelationships Center July 25, , 8: T June 24, , 4: Leah June 14, , 2: Jane June 9, , Amanda July 2, , 2: Rose June 7, , Fruj May 25, , 2: Annette May 23, , 5: Arthur April 4, , 1: Isabella April 10, , Hey Arthur, It sounds that you sincerely are working to better yourself.
Solomon March 14, , 4: Cookie March 11, , 4: No Contact Rule this dude is playing mind games. Kairavi March 11, , 4: Gabe March 2, , 2: Kim July 28, , 4: Rhiannon January 16, , 4: Jennifer January 19, , 6: Nisha August 29, , I just found this. I am in a similar situation. Lee December 20, , 3: Idk what to think tho -: Patti Bartow January 29, , 8: Elizabeth November 20, , 7: Trish December 29, , 2: Helen September 1, , 2: Richa September 1, , 7: Will he realize how much he needs me?
Jay August 13, , 9: Shelly June 30, , 5: Kathy June 13, , 2: Jessica May 26, , 1: I need your advice. Evelyn May 24, , 2: The timing is so hard to decide. Text him before the trip or no? Brandi May 6, , 5: H May 26, , Noyb August 15, , Michael April 20, , ConCon December 28, , 8: Ella April 9, , 4: Michelle April 28, , Susan April 3, , 8: Joanna April 2, , 2: Lois March 26, , Jordan March 24, , Harut March 17, , Daljeet Kaur March 16, , 1: I want help regarding my problem,, can u contact me at phone.
Pat March 11, , 6: Sharon April 20, , 3: Gunny March 6, , 9: Sarah February 24, , Lilliam January 29, , 9: Angelica Flores December 21, , Dana November 30, , 1: Pakhi November 14, , Jasmine November 11, , 2: Eric August 20, , 8: Move on with your life, the message is clearer , he does not need you anymore.
Kristina November 7, , Janey November 3, , 7: Reggie October 29, , 5: Ann October 24, , Natalia October 31, , Carly September 27, , 6: Sharu September 6, , Yeshua October 12, , 5: Deb August 3, , 6: What happens if he started seeing someone straight away and still is and apparently in love? Sharon September 1, , 2: Shafeek June 30, , 1: You might try inviting him to do something with you, and showing him that you like him in a less ambiguous way than sending a text. Of course, if he doesn't respond to an invitation, or he declines, or he rain checks two or three times, you can probably assume it's done with, and keep fishing.
If it doesn't work out with him, you will eventually meet someone you'll like even more. The stakes truly are not as high as you seem to think they are. People used to tell me this, and it seemed impossible. But it was true, every time. Maybe he lost interest in you because you're stuck in the kind of high-school mindset that prompts you to say shit like this. Well, whoever texts first and then possibly doesn't get a favorable response back loses aka, gets their ego damaged. Oh boo fuckin hoo, it's a text message for another hookup, not a marriage proposal.
Take the initiative in your sex life and text the guy. Haha, I am SO wondering if this is what he is going through now He was a bit reserved but also tried to pass off his shyness as assholey-ness, so I just don't know. She could still be waiting for you. In simple terms, no text means no interest Didn't hear from him, assumed he just wanted pussy, haven't exactly moved on and willing to give him more pussy if he wants. Joking aside, how did you feel about him contacting you after so many months passed?
Was he looking for a hookup? And were you even thinking about him during all that time? Haha, I get what you mean about getting validation after all those months of no contact --nice: I think this is partly what it's about for me I think he was the hottest guy I've ever been with, so if he contacts me soon or months from now, well, I'd feel validated as fuck, which equals a seemingly shallow but very fulfilling form of happiness for me.